Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2640477 06/28/12 09:40 AM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
F
funkman Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
I love my wife very much, problem is i dont think she loves me the way i love her. Every single day i tell her how beaitiful i think she is, how much i love her, i try to be so sweet everyday. I work so she doesnt have to, she spends time with her son and sometimes my kids when they come over. she is 30 , i am 36.
We use to have the most amazing sex life, i mean beyond amazing but now its more like she just does it for me. I always want to be near her and give her affection, and the way i am is what she loved about me when we first got together. she use to tell me that she cant believe that there are men like me out there, so loving and sweet and family oriented. She would always tell me how lucky she was to have met me.
Now its just really different, she is always so angry towards me for some reason. When she gets mad she calls me names all the time too, really hurtful things, and i cant understand how if you love someone you could talk to them that way. I feel alot of the time i know i deserve better then the way she treats me, but i am really in love with her, and i really do think she is the most beautiful women i have ever seen.
she use to be all over me all the time, now its like its a bother when i try to be close to her. i try talking to her and she tells me that she wouldnt be here if she didnt love me. i just feel thats a cop out.. i dont know what to do, any insight would be great, thanks

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,964
Funkman,

Think back what the timeline is for the decay of your relationship, perhaps you can identify events which accumulated to get you where you are now. Write it out that might help you understand what happened.

Do you believe she is in an affair, is there anyone in her life outside of your marriage she is very involved with. Do you know the signs of an affair. Did she ever tell you that "she loves you but is not in love with you"?

God Bless
Gamma

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
F
funkman Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
i really dont think its an affair, she does tell me she is in love with me, it just feels very different from the way i am with her to how she is with me.. I dont recall any specific events which led to any decay, it just seems that over the 3 years we have been together, her affection has dies down alot. We are together all the time and we talk alot during the day , so i dont think its an affair , i pretty much know where she is or am talking to her during the day. i just wish i could find a way for her to have that old desire she use to have for me

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Are you married to this woman? Is this the same woman you were dating back in 2007?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
F
funkman Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
i am married yes, this is a differnt women , we have been together since 2009

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
You are actually married?

do you think it is odd you have the exact same problems with this one that you did with the last one?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
F
funkman Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
not really the fighting problems in this one like my last relationship. but yea i guess that relationship died out and so did the love on her part... I just hope this time around its not heading the same direction, i really dont know what else i can do to be a better husband, i really do try to be the best spouse i can and just love her everyday. we married june 10 2011

Last edited by funkman; 06/28/12 10:30 AM.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Are you officially married?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by funkman
Now its just really different, she is always so angry towards me for some reason. When she gets mad she calls me names all the time too, really hurtful things, and i cant understand how if you love someone you could talk to them that way.

What is making her angry?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
F
funkman Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 31
well she had a thyroid problem and ever since it started is when i started to notice it, her doc told us it could affect her mood and make her angry... but she has since got her thyroid levels under control so i dont know if its still from that, but thats when it all semmed to start.. other then that i dont know why she seems to be so angry all the time, but it just seems to be with me not anyone else.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
What does she get angry with you about? What are the issues that trigger her anger?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 51
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 51
Does she have any friends other than you? what about other family? what does she do for fun? do you allow her to do things that interest her or are you two always together? It sounds to me that you are smothering her and she needs some space. How old are your kids?

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hopelessinTX
Does she have any friends other than you? what about other family? what does she do for fun? do you allow her to do things that interest her or are you two always together? It sounds to me that you are smothering her and she needs some space.

Your suggestions will make the situation worse, though. They are already so detached that the intimacy is gone, so becoming more detached will not solve the problem of detachment. "Space" does not create intimacy and romance. Nor does the intrusion of friends and family. They will hamper any efforts to put the marriage back into a state of intimacy.

He is not in a position to "allow" her to do anything; she is a grown woman who does not need permission.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101



Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 140 guests, and 97 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Overcomer4513, caraduke, Convict20, GTNY, Avianna
71,737 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,550
Posts2,322,810
Members71,737
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5