|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
oh wow, there is even more that applies, it seems  In most cases, a disrespectful judgment is simply a sophisticated way of getting what one spouse wants from the other. But even when there are the purest motives, it's still a stupid and abusive strategy. It's stupid because it doesn't work, and it's abusive because it causes unhappiness. If we think we have the right -- even the responsibility -- to impose our view on our spouses, our efforts will almost invariably be interpreted as personally threatening, arrogant, rude, and incredibly disrespectful. That's when we make sizable withdrawals from the Love Bank. yikes!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
markos is not my husband - using your logic. but i would not say calling him a jerk is okay anyway. how can you teach a person to stop using dj if you do it to them. i am here. trying to show this to my husband. you are disrespecting him. i wont subject him to this. i made a vow to care for him, too.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
i am impressing dr. harleys views on you. these are not just my views. i learned them here.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
i would not like it if my husband tried to force me to sopend time with people who treated me like this. please, you dont need to call names and be disrespectful to teach people to be respectful.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
i am asking him to come here. i am trying to use respectful persuasion with my husband, you guys arent helping.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
is that crazy face you gave me your way of calling me crazy. cause i dont like it! it is disrespectful. i cann assure you i am of sound mind. please practice what you preach. but i am sure you will tell me it is disrespectful to tell you that.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
markos is not my husband - using your logic. but i would not say calling him a jerk is okay anyway. how can you teach a person to stop using dj if you do it to them. i am here. trying to show this to my husband. you are disrespecting him. i wont subject him to this. i made a vow to care for him, too. mama, I agree you should not disrespect your husband. But you are disrespecting HIM and Markos by trying to protect your husband from unpleasant posts [but much needed] and by trying to correct Markos. Your duty as a wife is for YOU not to treat your husband with disrespect. Your husband will get some real help here if you stop hiding him behind your skirts. Your husband is a big boy, why don't you start treating him like one?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
not that i would make a crazy face at you....
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
is that crazy face you gave me your way of calling me crazy. cause i dont like it! it is disrespectful. i cann assure you i am of sound mind. please practice what you preach. but i am sure you will tell me it is disrespectful to tell you that. Yes, I do feel very disrespected by you. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
[i] i am asking him to come here. i am trying to use respectful persuasion with my husband, you guys arent helping. need to use respectful persuasion with him, but others don't though. We are not married to your husband. You are taking MB concepts out of context by applying them to others.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
me too. sad face. lets please do better. i wish you no harm.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
i am asking him to come here. i am trying to use respectful persuasion with my husband, you guys arent helping. BUT, you don't know what is helpful and what is not. Sometimes it is a straightforward approach that gets through to someone. But we won't know that if you don't stop trying to protect your husband as if he is a child.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
that is disrespectful. i am not doing that. i am trying to show him this is a helpful site. i cant forsce him to come here. i want him to learn what you guys are saying but i am afraid he wont hear because of the way you treat him. i am sorry i lost my temper. you do get my ire up. sometimes, i know what is helpful. sometimes not. i dont think what you were saying- insults and disrespect- was helpful in your message to him. even if it was, i am trying to show him he doesnt have to do that. and then you go and say you have to do that to teach him.
i think youare very good at breaking up affairs, melody lane, but i am not sure you are the best one to teach about dj, sd, and ao's. or maybe prisca and markos either. i dont want to take disrespect but i dont want to give it out either. i think we can talk without all of these insults and disrespectful rude things said. sorry if i engaged. it would have been better if i just walked away. which i did say i would....
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
i dont respect that approach
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Excellent radio clips on DJs in a marriage and how to stop them. Radio clip on DJs Segment #2
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
i dont respect that approach That's ok, because its not about you, remember? It is about what will get through to your husband. You can't dictate the approach that others take to your husband.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
i think youare very good at breaking up affairs, melody lane, but i am not sure you are the best one to teach about dj, sd, and ao's. or maybe prisca and markos either. And you are? On what basis? My marriage is in super shape and yours is not. I have been through the MB course and have a great marriage. You are rejecting the advice of folks who have been through the MB course. Is that wise? Your confusion comes from trying to force others - outside of your marriage - to employ MB concepts. That is not how it works, Ma'am.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
on the basis of you being disrespectful to me, melody. i dont' like the crazy face and insinuations. it makes me not want to listen to you because you dont care about me. i dont feel confused about this. i think it stinks. it makes me not want to come here.
i will listen to your stuff soon, brainhurts. thankyou so much for your helpful advice. i really have to go for now. my family needs me.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 64 |
well i would choose for my husband not to learn it is okay to use the approach you are taking using disrespect. i prefer we find other tools,melody. if he is gonna learn its okay to act like that, why would i want to bring him here? and this is about me, too. it affects my life alot. more than yours, for sure. so i think i have aruight to say something- and is my thread so, i have a right to be here. you arent writing directly to my husband. he's not here.
me 37
him 40
kids, dd 18, ds 12, and ds 10
together as man and wife as 13 years, but recently legally married and bought a house. i hope this means we're finally buyers! affairs his- emotional and physical 2002 to 2007 and porn. recovering. still got some issues. we want an amzing, loving marriage to last a lifetime! well, i know i do, at least
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
well i would choose for my husband not to learn it is okay to use the approach you are taking using disrespect. i prefer we find other tools,melody. Can you accept and admit that you might not be the best judge of what is helpful when it comes to your husband? That your own approach has failed? The beauty of this forum is that there are a variety of people with different approaches. You never know who will get through to him. You will never know that if you misuse MB concepts in an attempt to force others to practice concepts that were intended to be used within marriage. Why not allow your husband to read Markos' posts himself instead of making that decision for him? THAT is how true respect works.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
273
guests, and
28
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
