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Joined: Jun 2012
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my husband of seven years is a sex addict and frequently masturbates. i now have found evidence of his habit. he's only initiated sex with me twice in our seven plus years of marriage. he mostly has sex with me when i initiate, but there have been plenty of times he rejected, pushed me away. is this infidelity? i think it is.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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my husband of seven years is a sex addict and frequently masturbates. i now have found evidence of his habit. he's only initiated sex with me twice in our seven plus years of marriage. he mostly has sex with me when i initiate, but there have been plenty of times he rejected, pushed me away. is this infidelity? i think it is. Welcome to MB and sorry for your pain? Has he been diagnosed with SA? Will he get into a program?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
Have you see this? What is Sexual Addiction Also what snooping have you done?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 5
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no, he has not been diagnosed. he tells me i'm the one with the problem - an imagination. he went twice to a counselor who did nothing to help us. after confronting him, he denied doing it.
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Joined: Jun 2012
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i found a magazine tucked in the couch cusions. andi've cleaned evidence off the toilet. plus over the years i've heard him in the shower. enough evidence for me.
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Joined: Jun 2012
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i made a choice to not initiate sex until he initiated first. we went two months and no interest from him.
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Joined: May 2012
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Why do you think he's a sex addict? Porn and masturbation can be very damaging to the sexual side of a marriage in and of themselves. How is your relationship otherwise? Do you have reason to suspect infidelity? I might be able to help more with more backgroun info. I'm far from one of the experts around here, but it can be slow on the weekend. 
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so i just read "what is sexual addiction". i have fell for his "it's all my fault" he doesn't show an interest in sex with me. i've been the perfect wife, i've tried over and over to do everything perfectly he wants from me, reached out to him emotionally and have tried to have a connection in our marriage. isn't there. so i've had days where i've been snappy. we have two small children together (yes, from my initiating sex).
i confronted him recently after being sick and tired of pretending not to be bothered byh his habit. he got extremetly anger at me and cussed me out and told me to go F myself, which hurt deeply. i don't know how much more i need to g ointo detail about the difficulties in our marriage.
my questeion is, if he won't admit he has a problem, if he denies it, if he lies to me about it, what do i do then?
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Joined: May 2012
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so i just read "what is sexual addiction". i have fell for his "it's all my fault" he doesn't show an interest in sex with me. i've been the perfect wife, i've tried over and over to do everything perfectly he wants from me, reached out to him emotionally and have tried to have a connection in our marriage. isn't there. so i've had days where i've been snappy. we have two small children together (yes, from my initiating sex).
i confronted him recently after being sick and tired of pretending not to be bothered byh his habit. he got extremetly anger at me and cussed me out and told me to go F myself, which hurt deeply. i don't know how much more i need to g ointo detail about the difficulties in our marriage.
my questeion is, if he won't admit he has a problem, if he denies it, if he lies to me about it, what do i do then? Well it's up to you how much detail you want to go into, I suppose. I guess I'm not clear what your question is...do you suspect him of an actual affair based on his sexual actions? Or are you asking why he's not interested? Without more info it's difficult to help.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
What snooping do you have in place? How do you know there's no OW?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,232
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my questeion is, if he won't admit he has a problem, if he denies it, if he lies to me about it, what do i do then? do you want to stay in this kind of marriage, if he won't do anything to try to meet you halfway? because that's the next step. no, it is not normal to not want sex with your spouse for no reason. to all: i wondered why so slow this weekend - everyone away for the 4th?
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