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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 17 |
If you accidently find out that for your whole marriage your husband has been watching porn on the internet. When confronted he admits that he has needs and I am not there for him sexually as often as he needs so he has to get relief somewhere. He says all men relieve themselves. Is this true. Is this the definition of mental infidelity?
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
If you accidently find out that for your whole marriage your husband has been watching porn on the internet. When confronted he admits that he has needs and I am not there for him sexually as often as he needs so he has to get relief somewhere. He says all men relieve themselves. Is this true. Is this the definition of mental infidelity? Have you read these? Addiction to Porn #1 Addiction to Porn #2
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,479 Likes: 6 |
Also please listen to these radio clips. One wife found out that her husband has been viewing and hiding porn for the last 10 years. Please tell us what you think. Radio Clip on Porn Radio clip on Porn Segment #2
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 7
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 7 |
As a recovering porn addict I can tell you that your husband may have a real problem. If he is a porn addict it's not one bit your fault. Don't underestimate this either. No husband or anyone really needs to view porn. It can only be destructive to both your marriage and him personally. Be sure you read the articles mentioned previously. God bless.
Me:WH 50
BW 45
DS 17, DD 15, DS 13
Married 19 yrs
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 381
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 381 |
What do you think about his statement that you 'are not there for him sexually as often as he needs?" Do you think this is true? Could it improve? Unmet needs for sexual fulfillment could explain (not justify) viewing of porn.
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
If he NEEDS to view porn, then it's an addiction.
I drink beer but I'm not addicted to it.
My mother in law drinks alcohol and she is an alcoholic.
Is porn normal? In this modern age I would say most men have viewed porn.
If it starts controlling his life then he has a serious addiction problem.
And what kind of porn is he watching?
Playboy college girls posing nude? Or "hardcore" porn? Gay porn?
It's an issue you certainly need to evaluate and discuss.
I see youve only posted 17 times.
Are you familiar with marriage builder concepts? If not I encourage you to read His Needs, Her Needs by Dr Harley.
Using marriage Builder concepts, neither of you would do anything that is damaging to the other person or your marriage.
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