Fab,

I found an excellent radio clip from Dr. Harley, of why it's a good idea to go into Plan B after divorce. Tell me what you think.
Radio clip on Plan B after Divorce at 5:25 mark

I thought the clip was GREAT! I even loved the info given on ALL of the calls, including Plan B after divorce. I liked the example of the school play, and protecting yourself even if it means skipping a kids event. This is all so true. He has ALREADY done enough damage to last a lifetime and if seeing him and talking to him reminds me of all the pain and hurt then I have to do what I have to do. Did you hear in the clip they said "It's because she's still in love with him" - WOW I guess that is true is so many cases. Also, since I have not dated very much since divorce I also thought that info which said "Contact with the ex will always be a threat to anyone in the future I become involved with" I had not thought about this since I am still "finding myself" in a way. Well today is the second day I have not had contact with ex. He comes for visitation this weekend, my kids are handling the pick up times and I will not allow him in the house this time when he comes to pick them up. I DO NOT have to be accomadating and overly nice to him. I will not be rude but I will stand up for myself and have no contact with him.

You already sound so much stronger.

Yes, the part that Dr. H talks about the ex being an issue for the new person, that is so true. That is one reason why blended families are so unsuccessful.
We've had posters have someone record the play or such so the BS doesn't have to be around the WS.

If you think he will come into the house can you make sure you leave for a bit? Then have your sons text you when they're gone? Even if it's just down the street to the local drive thru for an iced tea?

Whatever to protect you.

Well I did it. Visitation was this past weekend. Kids dad drove up they went outside, he didn't come in, I didn't go outside. He dropped them off, I purposely was not here. He told the kids he tried to text but number was blocked, he asked them if I was ok. Kids replied she is doing fine, she sayd its just best if you guys dont have contact. He replied to them, "OK, whatever." It is probably driving him crazy not being able to get me : ) It IS better this way. I think a lot of people BS have to keep dealing with ex due to money issues, child support and that is very sad. I found myself being nice to him even when I didn't want to be just so he wouldn't get mad at me and stop or delay my child support payments. Is a bad place to be in but its reality. I went from having a family, nice home, excellent credit, money in the bank, retirement TO....ruined credit, home in foreclosure, living paycheck to paycheck, car needs repairs and dont have the money, the list goes on and on. BUT I think God allows us to experience what other people have experienced for years, and I never knew. Also I think God allows the consequences of sin to show its face, especially long term sin, serial cheating. Life is NOT easy, but I have to say I no longer worry about what husband is doing, who he is seein behind my back, who he took on this business trip, who hes texting, calling emailing. It was a hellish life.

You're healing. It will continue to get better for you under the protection of the Plan B blanket.

Good job, my friend.