I have to warn you all beforehand, but this might be long.

I was sitting and thinking about this journey I've been on since Oct. 2010. I seem to be enjoying life. Ive gone on some dates (can y'all actually believe this?). Four recent, although unanticipated, encounters with my wxw revealed that i may have great progress in the emotional healing department.

Those who are familiar with my story know that it been a rollercoaster, to say the least. I plan on one day reading the entire thread. It would be interesting to look back and see mistakes, see progress then steps backwards, see the lessons learned, the advise i disregarded, the advise i followed.

So did i survive an affair? In many ways, the answer to that question might change depending on who answers. My answer would be a resounding YES!
I have much love for those of you who have and continue to help me along the one.

THANK YOU!

I do still have my struggles jus like anyone else, but i truly feel I'm FINALLY moving on.....

Here's some news about one of the things im doing right now. I may be joining a band as their keyboardist/vocalist. I actually have 2 band possibilities but one is more my style of music.

This Thursday, i will be playing my first open mic night at a local pub. I'm actually taking a break now from working on one of my 3 songs. I'm really excited! I've never played and sang in that type of atmosphere. There will be some African drums, my friend is gonna play acoustic guitar, and there may be some others. I cant wait!!!

P.S.
It wasnt as long as i thought it would be... ;0)

Whether the marriage is recovered or not, the MB plans help recovery.
My divorce will be final July 24. I am thankful that I found MB.
PLAN A helps betrayed spouses act appropriately and plan B helps establish boundaries for emotional healin and health

Hey MSS. I'd say yes, you are surviving the affair. But more than surviving. Surviving implies 'just barely making it'.

You are 'living'. Enjoying life now. I read through your story, and it's inspiring for me to hear how you are doing now, because I know that will be me too one day after all this drama ends.

Keep living! And update us about the band; I used to be in a band too; I played Hawaiian ukulele. I have a junk voice though.

Mark, I'd say not only did you survive the affair, YOU THRIVED. Good on ya.

I'm glad that some of the advice that you did follow was to enter Plan B. There are many BHs who are reluctant to enter PB, and I think your story has shown that there are great benefits to it.

Don't be a stranger, make sure you keep us up to date.

MB ROCKS.

Scotland, you have been a pretty loyal follower of mine as well as a great help to me. THANK YOU!

There have been many others along the way, too. THANKS TO YOU ALL!!!

I will continue to update you all from time to time. Until next time....

I found an excellent radio clip from Dr. Harley, of why it's a good idea to go into Plan B after divorce. Tell me what you think.
Radio clip on Plan B after Divorce at 5:25 mark

I thought of you for this, but you seem to be doing so well that you might not need this.

Hey, us girls in Plan B always talk about being a rock star... but mark, you seem to be taking it literally

Really glad to hear things are going well for you.

I hope you keep popping back in to update us in SAA... you show the other reluctant BH's how positive Plan B can be.

X2 - it can be so hard to get men to take care of themselves!

Good point

Welcome TFRR23 to MB.

Would you like to start your own thread and tell us your story?

hear, hear! well done, mark. i'm glad you're doing great! happy 4th to ya.

Update:

My first open mic night experience was awesome! I played keys and sang 3 songs. My buddy played guitar and it was great.

My plan was to just do it this once because i always wanted to do it. I've had 2 tell me today that i should do some more next week. I guess this might be the motivation i needed to take my music to another level. I'M EXCI

Update:

My first attempt at a new relationship didn't go so well. I had been hanging out with a girl i met about a month and a half ago. She asked if we could be exclusive about a week ago and since we'd been spending so much time together, i agreed. What i quickly realized after several discussions was that she was not willing to do what was necessary to give us a chance.

We had discussed at length our past relationships (both divorced with hers having been final over a yr ago) and i had disclosed to her some of my infidelity story. I stated that i no longer could just blindly trust and she understood since her ex was also unfaithful. BUT she was not willing to be open with me about pretty much anything. I just felt strongly i couldnt trust her and rightfully so since i discovered her continued contact with other guys whom she dated post-divorce. I told her i could not accept this but she told me i was being too insecure.

She told me i was punishing her for my wxw's actions and that i would continue to cause problems in any new relationship if we didnt work out. Maybe i went about it all wrong or maybe i didnt. But one thing i do know is if she was unwilling to earn my trust, then it just could not and would not work. I wasnt gonna be lied to continually. I couldnt do it.

So back to the pool of fish i go...

I think you made the right decision, you have MB knowledge to help you select the right partner and a happy successful relationship. Unfortunately not everyone has that knowldege and some will view it as "not being able to trust" "punishing for XWW behaviour" MBers see it differently.

Remember, its a big pool...

I lived by this rule during my pre M life, I will reconstruct it for you and change the men to women.

Women are like buses. If you miss one the next one will come along in 5 minutes.

Goes along with Dr H's advice to date 30 people before you get married, I guess.

I'm pretty confident i made the right choice as well. I really tried to educate her so she would understand my rationale. At times, she seemed so understanding bur other times extremely selfish.

As i sit and think, my education during my separation/divorce has become invaluable. I view things so differently now. At one point, she almost had me
convinced something was wrong with me and that my scars had become a hindrance. I quickly realized she was wrong and so wrong for me.