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Carrie, I have just been reading your thread. We all understand how hard it is to expose, but you will be amazed at how empowered you feel as you start to take back control of your life. Exposure is your opportunity to tell the truth. You are right you will feel better and each time you talk to someone you will find it healing.
Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14
"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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Carrie are you exposing properly - all at once? Who are you exposing to ? The OWs side too?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I am meeting with his sister in law tomorrow and I am then going to make the other phone calls. I am actually really looking forward to talking to his sister in law. I know it will feel so much better just to get all this out in the open. You're planning to do this all at once, correct? You need to expose all at once. Whom are you exposing to on OW's side?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Ditto what Indie and BH posted.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Well I haven't exposed yet. I installed a key logger on the laptop in our house. He is coming here to watch our daughter today so it will be interesting to see what he does on the computer. It is so hard to keep reminding myself to he is an alien right now. We had a conversation this weekend about our joint checking account of course he does not want to separate our money but he is spending so much I can barely keep up. He of course told me during that conversation that he hasn't been happy with me for awhile and that he can't spend his whole life settling. It is so hard not to let that stuff get to me.
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Gather your intel and do not confront him, but come here and tell us.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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He has now told me that he is going to be staying at the house. He has not spent a night there in 2 weeks. Not sure what he is doing.
Last edited by Carrie5520; 07/09/12 11:41 AM.
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Carrie, I told anyone who would listen about my WH's A. You should DO IT. It felt cathartic, and his secret bubbled to the surface for all to see.
When I called the POSOW's BH was the kicker. That absolutely killed it. It felt great telling him that my WH was not her first 'boyfriend', too. That all collapsed around them.
I told him about this site, which he browsed and I think he got the books. I hope he did.
BW Me, 42
WH Him, 45
Affair began in 10/11
Married 10 years
Together 12 years
1 step-daughter, age 16
D-day 6/1/12: WH had affair w/ woman who sings in a blues band/he plays blues guitar
7/2/12 he broke promise of NC with OW & moved out
7/3/12 he expressed desire to recover
7/16/12 Things really smoothed out
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Okay so I am in shock. I just look at his email and found an email from back in march to a different woman then I thought. So that means there have been two different women. I didn't find any emails from the current woman. What do I do.
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Okay so I am in shock. I just look at his email and found an email from back in march to a different woman then I thought. So that means there have been two different women. I didn't find any emails from the current woman. What do I do. Have you found out who OW2 is? Then expose them both. When will you be exposing?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Does the email prove that he may have been having an affair with this other OW? Do you know who this OW2 is?
Are you Plan Aing him while you are snooping?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Carrie, we have been telling you since MAY to expose the affair. Why won't you take our advice?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Because I have been afraid. I just finally got up enough nerve to install the key logger and I am so glad that I did. But what I found was shocking. I never would have guessed that there were two different women. At this point he has no idea that I know about this second woman. I do believe that he is involved with both women at this point. I am waiting for him to access his other email to confirm that. This second woman is married and her husband works with my POS husband. I now have both women's emails and phone numbers as well as the second one's husbands email and phone number. As soon as my lawyer finishes with the separation papers I will be exposing to everyone that will listen. I need to wait until I have the separation papers signed for my own protection. I have gone from being sad to being mad and he has know idea.
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Why are you waiting until you have separation papers? You don't need separation papers to expose.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I feel like I do because he will cut me off financially. I make far less then he does at my part time job.
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How long is it going to take to get these separation papers thought? You've already waited far too long to expose, you should be doing it PRONTO.
Did you get all of OW1, and OW2's friends names off of FB? Do you know how to get in contact with their families? Have you made a list of people you will expose to on your WH's and your side? Do you have the evidence hidden somewhere your WH can't find?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I printed out some of the emails and forward the rest to myself. I have all the cell phone records and emails etc. hidden very well. I can not access either woman's friend list on Facebook. I do have the second woman's husband's info. I have the info for his close friends at work.
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I think she should wait until separation then expose all in one day.
He is a serial cheater.
Exposing now won't save her marriage or kill his affairs.
There are probably others she doesn't know about.
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Carrie.
You have 2 choices.
Your husband is a serial cheater. Try to kill his affairs and get him to commit to MB recovery plan OR
Divorce him. You have 1 daughter?
He works for the city and is screwing other firefighters wives?
They will run him out of the department when he is exposed.
If you want to divorce him politely tell him he can agree to pay a nice alimony package or be exposed for the scum he is.
Oh there is always the third option of just allowing him to have multiple affairs but it sounds as though you are fed up with that.
Keep collecting evidence. Discreetly.
DO NOT tell him about this website
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Yeah I really thought when I knew about the first woman that there was hope for us. But now that I know about the other woman I know there isn't a chance. Who knows how many others there have been. There have been two other times since our daughter was born when I thought something was going on. I can't live my life like this. I know there is something better for me and my daughter. I still want to at the very least email both woman and the one woman's husband. They don't know about each other and I really want them to. I want my POS husband to be so miserable.
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