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Joined: Oct 2009
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BCboy Offline OP
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I spoke with a lady whos husband is an alcoholic and has been for the last 6 years. She has told him if he does not quit drinking she will leave him. She has told him to get help and offered to go with him but there is no change.

I told her there is little hope of her marriage improving when there is substance abuse. That has to be dealt with first. She says she knows that but he refuses to stop.

I told her she is then justified in leaving or have him leave but she cannot financially afford to so she has stayed. She asked me what she can do and I do not have any answers so I thought I would see if the collective wisdom here could offer her a solution to this issue.

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Can she file a separation agreement to help her financially?
Here's what Dr. Harley has to say.

Here's a clip of Dr. Harley talking about alcoholics.

Please listen to this clip.
Radio clip on alcoholic
In this clip Dr. Harley explains why he says there are times to demand things at certain times.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted By: BCboy


I told her she is then justified in leaving or have him leave but she cannot financially afford to so she has stayed. She asked me what she can do and I do not have any answers so I thought I would see if the collective wisdom here could offer her a solution to this issue.


If I were her, I would ask him to move out. He would have to still pay the bills, of course. If she can't do that, then she should start planning her escape by getting a job/better job, saving money, etc.

Another thing she can do to help him is to call the police if he goes drunk driving. He will be tossed in jail and then court ordered into some type of rehab or AA. That would be the best thing to happen to him.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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BCboy Offline OP
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Thanks for the input I will pass this along. What a mess alcohol can make in a relationship.

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I would say she should move out and see if she can stay with a good friend or even her parents for a while. This way it alleviates the money issue, but it provides some separation from her husband so he can deal with his alcoholism.


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