Mmmm, I'm intrigued too. I remember drinking some sort of juice in Cambodia that had lemongrass in it and was divine. So lemon and ginger... give us the recipe!

Hi Scotty, catching up on everyone's threads and I noted your comment about visiting Australia during summer (hopefully you meant Nthn Hemisphere time). If you don't like the heat and humidity summer is not a good time to visit ... temps in high 30's C - 40's C and very humid. Autumn and Spring are better times to visit.

How are you and your children?

I meant summer here, so winter in Aus. But, if I move to the Scottish Highlands, I wouldn't need to worry about it.

My DS12 is doing fabulously, but my DS9, he's missing Bampot more than he has in a long while. I don't know what it is about. He came to me crying 3 times this week saying that he misses daddy. I held him, told him that I could see that he loved his father very much, and asked him if he wanted to call, or email his dad. He refused, because he figured that Bampot wouldn't answer the phone, and he would become more saddened by that than he already was.

I'm at a weird place in PB. When I first began PB, I felt like I could take on the world. I was surviving once of my most feared experiences in my life. My husband had an affair and left me and my children for the OW. I thought that I could change EVERYTHING in my life, and make it so much better. Don't get me wrong, I have achieved a lot in PB, but seeing where I am 2.5 years later, I feel like I haven't done enough. I feel like I should have changed more.

I think that it is because so much is changing when PB starts, but soon, you get into a routine, and things settle down. It's not necessarily bad. It just doesn't feel like enough to me. I need another big change. I feel the need to make my life better. And, it has NOTHING to do with Bampot, which is AMAZING in itself.

I was telling my boxing trainer yesterday that a part of me feels like I have wasted the last 2.5 years, but maybe it's more that I am healed from the betrayal, and am ready to stop being the wounded bird. I'm ready to live a GLORIOUS life, and my current one doesn't measure up. KWIM?

I have made so many memories that don't have a thing to do with Bampot. I have made friends, who only know the PB me. There are a lot of changes that I have made, I know that, I see them, but they aren't enough. I'm ready to have and be more. Now, if only i could figure out how to make it all possible.

BTW, Smilingwoman(haven't seen you around lately but maybe you will read this), you'll be happy to read that I CAN see myself dating someone in the future, and being happy with him. Even happier than I was with Bampot. Obviously, not before I was divorced, and for a while after that still, but I see the possibility. That is a HUGE improvement for me. And one I am glad happened. I guess PB worked in changing me from a buyer to a renter in my marriage. Just like it is supposed to. For some of us, it just takes longer.

You always amaze me.

This made tears spring to my eyes. I am very happy to see you at this point. I agree with no dating until the divorce is final....and I don't believe it was 'wrong' of you to need 2 1/2 years to get here....I can tell you life post divorce from a cheater CAN be wonderful. I never knew it was possible to be this happy in a marriage. And that is even with the bumps and rollercoaster of being in a blended family.

Good for you Scotty!

You've done a huge amount of work in Plan B. You have been healing yourself and your boys single handedly. I am sure that felt like a struggle and achievement at the lowest points.

Now I think you are feeling something is lacking. Its not because you havent achieved enough, but because the struggle to heal is not so strong. There is nothing to achieve RIGHT NOW so you're bored BECAUSE of how well you've done not because you should have done better.

I am the same way right now. Bored and ready for the next stage. I think healing without kids is slightly quicker and I also have zero patience. I also thing SLs neglect of the marriage in the run up to the A had something to do with it.

You've made a horrendous situation workable and joyous. Your kids trust you with their hearts and deepest sorrows. they have learned from you how to deal with them. You have grown and changed into a formidable but tender woman. You can spot a phoney a mile off. You've nagged countless people INCLUDING ME into Plan B. we love ya Scot. You are a hero.

'Should have done more'!

Scotty, I'm "truthfully" happy to see your growth. You are an inspiration for women who are just beginning their journey into Plan B and a living testament that it takes as long as it takes. I know you got some gave you flack but IMO you are a poster child for doing a proper plan B and coming out on the other side a better person. I'm sorry you're having health issues, that bites! You've helped sooooo many people, members and lurkers alike. Post when you can, a little bit of Scotty is better than no Scotty. ((((Scotty))))

Bravo to you, Scotty! You are the definition of success in my book.

Okay guys, thanx for the tears first thing in the morning. Just popping in before boxing, and to give you guys a little HA.

On Sunday, DS12 was talking to me on the way to my mom's, and he said, "Daddy made us say Bye to THEM today. He says that SHE thinks that we don't like her. I said Bye, but they didn't hear me, and when Daddy asked me to say it again, I told him no." DS9 said, "And I told Daddy that I don't say Bye." Then DS12 told me that he doesn't like OW. I told him that he should be honest with his dad, but I understand that he doesn't want to get him mad.

I just think that it is awful that Bampot felt the need to use his children to reassure OW. Really? A 12 YO and 9YO need to reassure a 35 YO? Of course my children don't like her. They're smart and good boys. I guess the fantasy bubble is popping a little, and that makes me laugh. Really, what did she expect? Oh wait, I know. The same as every other wayward expects. That the children and everyone around them will be okay with it, since they're in lurve. HAHAHAHA

Waywards have no clue.

DITTO

"Should have done more"

Reminds me of Shindlers list in the end, when he was brought out of the fog and caring about the people, and his eyes were opened wider than they ever were before

He holds up his gold watch and says he could have bougten another one

You were never as fake and frivolous as Shindler, but you did and continue to recognize wealth and it's purpose

Living to serve others, awesome scotty

I personally see such amazing growth in you as a woman, a mother, a friend that I am inspired by you. Plus, the physical changes of weight loss and getting into shape...WOWZERS. You, my dear, are beautiful truly beautiful. I think you are just now seeing that you have wings to spread and that is the restlessness or need to do more that you are feeling. Your wings are no longer clipped by Bampot so fly sweet Scotty!

Yeah to add to what Faith said
You can fly now, it's OK

Thinking about how even when we think we have braved it all, suffered enough, and now we deserve to be loved as we love,

Yet there is more that comes and squashs us down?

Many special souls like you Scotty have been through Hell, and yet you still shine without the bitterness. The bitterness that comes from the enemy of God and all things holy and good.

It's our love we have to give that is so devalued, that hurts us so deep. What is our worth we think when that gets rejected? The best we can do is cast out?

You have risen above

"For those who wait upon the Lord shall rise on wings like Eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint"

Enjoy your walk Scotty

I can not thank you all enough for all you helped me with, and continue to offer me, in friendship. You all are absolutely AWES-MAZING.

You probably don't count me as a friend Scotty but regardless of the times I've disagreed with your view of things I still very much wish for you to have a happy outcome.

Thank YOU.

Her view of things has been that she intends to follow MB concepts and not date while she is married. She is now explaining that following Dr. H's concepts has been her healthiest avenue. Why have YOU disagreed with her?

Possibly for the same reasons I did at certain times, mb. I guess I would call it pure ignorance on my part (and it was) for the times I butted heads with Scotty. She never really berated me but tried to educate me on the true purpose of Plan B on G's thread as I didn't have a true understanding of it. I thought I did, but I was wrong. Because of her taking the time to correct, and explain it to me, I now do. Of course, Melody did as well, so I should thank her as well while I'm at it.

Scotty, so happy you are where you are now. I went back and read the first few pages of your thread just to get a pulse on how far you have come in the past 2.5 years+. It's quite extraordinary and you truly are a success story. I wish you so much deserved happiness and success in your future.

Wes, Scotty has never veered from her decision to stand for her marriage. SW has disagreed with her decsion. That is what my post is about.