I see all these people talking about how their marriage is better than ever...How do you get to that point if your husband loved someone else and was intending to leave ?
Many people on these forums have had a spouse who loved somebody else and intended to leave. Before they took ACTION to save their M. Or, in many cases, to go into a dark Plan B (separation) and work on personal healing, or to go to divorce, if that was necessary.
CAN you get to that point if he refuses to be honest about the affair or why it really happened ?
No. Recovery and a good marriage cannot occur without radical honesty and a willingness to recover and have a good marriage.
I have tried to let this go,
You should NOT let this go. Or you will continue to suffer through affairs, and being treated like dirt.
but it seems worse to me that my WH was willing to give up his family for a woman that basically was a tramp and had no intention of ever leaving and being with him ?
Worse than WHAT? There are very few things that are worse than the devastation an affair can have.
You may be half the problem in terms of creating an environment that was ripe for affairs, but your WH is 100% responsible for actually having an affair.
I would give anything if I could NOT know anything that I know because my life has been a nightmare since the second I found out about his A.
So you would rather live a life of head in the sand dishonesty, with a man who had no respect for you, than to demand more for yourself and recover your marriage or seek your own personal recovery?
I'm starting to believe him when he say's I'm the only one that is hurt or has a problem.
Ludicrous. Why are you believing a selfish insane man?
He has basically left me to " heal " myself and I don't know how to do that. Most days I feel like i'm losing my mind but his lifejust goes on like my hurt doesn't matter.
Your hurt doesn't seem to matter, to him. It is very toxic to be with someone who has absolutely no regard for your well being.
Now, are you ready to take action here?
