Background info: My husband and I got married in 2010, I was 18 and he was 19. He proposed to me and chose the date(I didn't want to pressure him, I wanted him to decide when he wanted to marry, because I understood that we were young.) We were together since high school. I was his first serious relationship and we married eachother as virgins.

**Present day: He is 21 and I am 20**

We bought a house, then got married. Life was bliss, for about a year as expected...but we were going to college and he was working (I couldn't work due to a very demanding class schedule and he understood, so I did all I could to take are of the home/chores and cooking to make up for not bringing money in)

We decided to try for a baby( I know I know, soon, but we thought we were ready(atleast I thought, I really dont know what he was thinking, looking back at it now). We wanted children, and we had discussed it over and over and even changed our minds a couple of times. We werent in the best situation for a baby(We had money(not alot of course, but enough) and the room, and we had a plan, which I think is the best that anyone could do). So we tried for months...finally on the 4th month(last Nov.) we had conceived.

We were very happy and excited, planning the baby and all. I had problems with my back during this pregnancy so I was ordered not to do much(my joints were relaxing way too much and causing my pelvis to spread farther then it should, causing immense pain) so I tried to do most of the housework, but some days I just couldnt get it all done.
.

--All the while telling me that he was unhappy but he didnt know why, I was doing everything he asked of me, and he didnt want to leave me...but he still didnt know why he wasnt happy.--


Well, 2 weeks ago, we woke up one morning. Normal day, he initiated sex and it was one of the most passionate sessions we had in a while. He went to work, called me on his lunch break for a minute, then when he got off work (it was late) he called me to tell me he was coming home and that he loved me.

Well he came into the bedroom where I was and I gave him hug, he asked if we could talk. Sure, I said.

Well. Then he dropped the bomb.

Basically he told me he doesnt love me anymore. That he just doesnt feel it. He didnt really know why, but thats what he felt. HE wanted a divorce. HE just didnt want me anymore. Romantically we were done. He tried to hug me and comfort me but I was just too shocked to really...react. I was eerily calm, asked him if it was anyone else. HE told me there was noone and that he was completely faithful. He gave me his wedding ring. He asked me to take me to my parents.(Basically kicking me out)

I broke down while packing my stuff...called my mother to pick me up because I couldnt bear the thought of sitting in a car with him taking me home.

He locked himself in the bedroom while I waited for my mother in the kitchen. I was sobbing.

t's been almost 3 weeks, he doesnt contact me. The only time he called was when he told me he was dropping some of my stuff off at my parents house. The first stuff he packed was all of our wedding photos(because "we are done now") and he brought me all of my clothes.





His family has no idea why this is happening. I have no idea why(except for the "I dont love you"). I am giving birth in a matter of weeks. HE left me with no job, no home, no money(and he hasn't offered any), no vehicle, nothing.


I knew he was unhappy, but he told me I wasn't the problem and that he wanted this baby(our daughter). So why is he leaving me? Why have sex with me then dump me the same day? Why take me shopping for the month if he was going to get rid of me?



So many whys.



I dont think he is coming back. He is very indifferent, very dead behind the eyes. He is also adding many( I mean many, like more than 10) different strange women on facebook...most of which are very pretty and I cant compete with. He says he still wants to be in the babies life.




Any ideas on why he left? Should I file and give him what he wants? What should I file?? I dont want this, I want my family, I want him back...but I dont have any control. (Why do I want him back?)







I also know I wasnt a saint...but I did my best I thought, Id do anything for him and our marriage. I care for him so much, there were days where we didnt have much food and I would go without eating so he could. I appreciated him so much and always let him know. It seemed like the more I built his self confidence, the more he tore mine down in the end.

I am weeks before birth...what do I do?

Welcome to MB and I'm so sorry for your pain.

Is there anyway you can snoop to find out if there's an OW?

Can you check cell records? Hire a PI?

I don't know what to say but I did want to offer sympathy.

All of my reactions don't really fall under appropriate marriage builder advice.

Brainy is being very conservative. Let me not be.

Your husband is having an affair. The only question is the identity (and quantity?) of his involvement.

"Affair" does not limit itself to back-seat clawings and scratchings on the way home from (or to) work. The affair he may be having could be an emotional affair, with a woman (sans children) who dangles before him the less involved and strenuous existence he had until your pregnancy. It could actually be with the POSSIBILITY of having such a relationship. ("Hi! I'm the mostly mythical Barbie with pneumatic 44DD breasts you've always craved!")

You, if you want to retain your marriage, have to discover what is stealing his attention, and desire, from you and your imminently-arriving child. Then you will have to expose it to the world.

Does this sound like something you can accomplish? If so, click "notify" at the bottom right, and ask that this thread be moved to SAA.

Please read this.
Carrot and Stick of Plan A

Well he swears up and down that there isn't anyone else...of course if there isn't then he wants to be with other people.


He called me after weeks with barely any contact. He told me he knows how hard it is on me, and that this wasnt an easy choice for him either. We "grew apart" and he was "too young"...that divorce wasnt planned for him and that he was just unhappy.(no specific reason why) That he isnt divorcing just to date other people, and blah blah blah. If love was a choice then I could just choose to stop loving him and he is sorry that we didn't work out. He wants me to be able to move on with my life.

He just doesn't want me anymore, simple as that.


I really don't get how you could grow apart after only 2 years of marriage though.



This truly breaks me inside. Especially when I am due with our daughter any day now.

So sorry for what you are dealing with!

Please consider that he is having an affair. Many years ago my H was suddenly unhappy also, and of course was not having an affair according to him. He even had me convinced at one point that he was just unhappy. Even after I knew the truth he tried to deny the A, claiming OW was just a friend. ALL LIES!

You need to do some heavy snooping, I think you will find out he is lying to you. You need to know, so that you can try to save the marriage.

Well there is no way I can snoop...as I wrote in my original post, I am out of the marital home.

He has already added 30 new women on his facebook...so If he isnt already in a relationship...he is looking.

Why don't you move back home? It's pretty scummy for a man to throw his pregnant wife out of her home so he can turn it into a bachelor pad.

Let HIM move out. Have you talked to an attorney? Is the hound-dog supporting you?

And yes, there's another woman. I'm sorry.

I agree with MaritalBliss: talk to an attorney and make him support you and your baby. Though staying at home with your loving family might be helpful for doing a dark Plan B while getting the care you need right now.

Have you considered writing to Dr. Harley on the radio?

(((((((((((((((WhereDidHeGo)))))))))))))))

I am so sorry that you are in this situation, hon. You came here asking us for help so PLEASE listen to what you are being told. Many of us are sitting here nodding our heads because we know what you are going through as most of us have been in your shoes and we heard the same lines of crap that came out of our WS's piehole. And many of us have done exactly what we are telling you to do. So please listen to those who have walked in your footsteps before hand and have all of this experienced advice to give you.
You have every right to be in the marital home and should be there ASAP. If he wants a single life, then he goes. If you don't want a divorce then don't file. Why should you pay for something HE wants? Also, please read other's threads and you will see a lot of similarities between you and others.

~RQ