need advice. It has almost been 1 year since d-day. Got a text from an unknown website asking if my husband confessed to A. Needless to say he did that day. He has told me all of what happened with a parasite I thought was a really good friend. Long story short, lies, texts, lies and more texts and he has told me all, I believe. I was stunned! I thought something was going on but NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think this.

Here is our relationship background:

Never had sex with each other before we got married; yes, we waited! Have been married almost 18 years but A started before we were married 15. A lasted the summer until I found his phone records. Confronted him(didn't know it was sexual) about all the calls and texts. He said he wouldn't see, talk, text her again. Wrong! His mother passes away the next spring; they meet up again a few times. The A lasts about 1 year. We moved. He started new career. He breaks all contact with her(I still don't know). He has a complete attitude change with new job. Becomes the most wonderful husband I had lost for a year. Becomes a more awesome dad(I still dont't know about A). We are in our new home in our new location when I am sent this text(last Aug). Since then he has appologized profusely, tried to make up all for all of the bad he has done to our marriage, spoils me, started going to a Bible study and always puts me first. We "date" once a week, if not more. Needless to say, most of the time we are very happy now. This was so out of character of him. I just sometimes can't even believe this has happened.

Here is my question:

He wrote the OW an email on their private account(he told me about it and I have the password)before I knew about all of this, telling her basically to shove it up her ***. He can"t prove to me he wrote this email because all emails on this account were deleted by both of them after they wrote them. I am struggling with not having proof of the end email. What do I do? That email was sent about a year and a half ago, about 6 months after we moved to our new location. He swears he has had no contact with her and if he does see her, he'd knock her teeth in.

Everything he has done since d-day has been very open and I have access to all of his accounts. I am just struggling with the proof of the email. Can someone give me some advice?

Stunned,
Sorry you are here but you have come to the right place. The vets will be along shortly to give you sound advice on how to proceed.

I have a couple suggestions. Get the book Surviving an Affair and tell (DON'T ASK) your WH he will be taking a polygraph.
Try to have a hidden camera with audio on him when you tell him. I am certain we would be able to hear his sphincter squeek on this forum.
Hang in there! Marriage Builders can restore what has been broken!

And where would he do that at?

Also, can someone tell me where these abbreviations are? I'm so confused!

We have been to our priest, he broke down, swore he wanted to save his soul and marriage.

Welcome.

Here you go
Polygraph Testing
Exposure 101
Acronyms and Abbreviations
Thread to Help Newly Betrayed spouses

BH, Have I told you how amazing you are lately? You always know how to help a newbie or an olden with just a few short clicks.

Stunned,

How about an actually NC letter that your H writes and you send to OW, to make it official and give you piece of mind?

I agree with the poly but I feel that because you did not actually see the email you need an "official" end to this. If your H broke it off with her then he should not mind putting it in writing vs. email and ending it with written proof.


Just my thoughts,

15

Thanks 15Y.