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SIL...your wife's sister, or your brother's wife? Are you still in contact with her?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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CWMI,
Somewhat in contact, my brothers Wife, I've never felt anything for her for years and years. A few years back when she was on the verge of death she told me "I love you", perhaps it never ended for her.
I've often joked to my W that what SIL wanted was a threesome where she had a conversation with me while my B having sex with her. Her complaints to me back then were about how little sex she was having with my B.
My W knows the entire story and knew when we were dating. My W is against my telling my brother, although it is likely going to happen.
God Bless
Gamma
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So...it's okay for you to stay in contact with an affair partner who proclaims to love you, but your wife can't be friends with the elderly man? Did your wife love him romantically? How about OM3?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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My W is against my telling my brother, although it is likely going to happen. Likely going to happen!!!!!!!!!!! AYFKM? Your brother has been decieved by you for how many years?? While his wife pined for you, you KNOWINGLY impacted your brothers marriage by sticking around? Where she could see you and pine for you?? Your brother. You know how vital exposure is to kill the fog of As and you haven't gotten off your backside in years to do this for your own brother? And you have been here how long? Speechless
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I've often joked to my W that what SIL wanted was a threesome where she had a conversation with me while my B having sex with her. Says it all, really.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Still want to hook his wife up to a poly, Indie? Think that's a relevant part of the recovery plan?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Indie,
Your brother has been deceived by you for how many years??
Not sure he was all that deceived he seemed to accept the situation, since I filled a need, conversation, he could not or was insecure about, at least that's my W's opinion.
I don't need to say that between the ages of 15 and 18 I had no idea what an emotional affair was, or that I could create an addiction and attraction through conversation alone.
At that time I also doubted that my SIL could have felt anything for me as she was a beauty pagent winner and my brother was so much better looking than me. The insights that looks sometimes don't matter are not all that common that I only understood after reading on MB.
I will be sure to bring it up some time soon and make my apologies. Though I rarely visit.
God Bless
Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 07/23/12 07:42 AM.
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CWMI,
So...it's okay for you to stay in contact with an affair partner who proclaims to love you, but your wife can't be friends with the elderly man? Did your wife love him romantically? How about OM3?
Both were bad for our marriage, I do not think that one affair justifies another or somehow compensates in the ledger books of life.
My W does not see SIL as a problem btw, no matter how much information I've given her, my W just does not get EAs. I guess it has something to do with all the horrible unrepentant PAs in her fathers family.
OM3 is just too weird to deal with right now, OM1 down, OM2 is next in line.
God Bless
Gamma
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Anyone,
My W is against my telling my brother about the EA with my SIL, so in that case does POJA trump radical honesty?
God Bless
Gamma
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Still want to hook his wife up to a poly, Indie? Think that's a relevant part of the recovery plan? Yes why on earth would that be dropped? Are we supposed to take a WWs word for it? She asked for a D while still proclaiming love for an ex boyfriend she still worked with. Yet that isnt an A because she had premarital sex with him? What? And there has been two further EAs - which we are apparently simply taking her word for it that there weren't any more and that they weren't PAs? Gamma's poor decisions have zero effect on her cleaning up her side of the street.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Anyone,
My W is against my telling my brother about the EA with my SIL, so in that case does POJA trump radical honesty?
God Bless
Gamma Tell your brother. Exposure of affairs are always an emergency measure which must be taken. Your wife is still wayward anyway, uncommitted to recovery, so why would she get a say?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
Indie,
Your brother has been deceived by you for how many years??
Not sure he was all that deceived he seemed to accept the situation, since I filled a need, conversation, he could not or was insecure about, at least that's my W's opinion.
I don't need to say that between the ages of 15 and 18 I had no idea what an emotional affair was, or that I could create an addiction and attraction through conversation alone.
At that time I also doubted that my SIL could have felt anything for me as she was a beauty pagent winner and my brother was so much better looking than me. The insights that looks sometimes don't matter are not all that common that I only understood after reading on MB.
I will be sure to bring it up some time soon and make my apologies. I take your age into account, and the fact that you won't have understood lovebank deposits at the time.... But ANYONE knows that if their SIL offers sex, THEY TELL THEIR BROTHER!! C'mon Gamma.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Gamma, after coming clean with your brother....
....want to tell us what plan you're in?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Posts: 11,539
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Uterine contractions? What does that even mean? The only time women have [involuntary & painful] uterine contractions during sex is when they are in late term pregnancy ("Braxton Hicks")... unless there is something about female biology I am not understanding. Until a woman has a hysterectomy they may not be aware of the role the uterus can play in orgasm.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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