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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 226
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 226 |
I came here in 2008 for help saving my marriage to a WW. Although the attempt was unsuccessful, I filed for divorce KNOWING I did everything possible to save it and would not look back wishing I had given it "one more chance".
So here I sit, divorced for 13 months. I hate being divorced. A friend is a wedding photographer and I was reviewing her work. I looked at album after album, seeing the look of happiness in peoples faces. I cannot imagine ever having feelings for someone again. I know 1/2 those weddings will end in divorce but that's not what I am talking about. At least at the moment those pictures were captured, they were happy.
How long does it take to be happy again?
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437 |
Your last post said you were a month out and starting to feel happy. What happened?
Are you dating? What are you doing to unwind and have fun?
I was divorced in the mid 90s, although under quite different circumstances. I'm pretty sure there was infidelity, but with everything else going on, it really didn't hit my radar on things to be concerned about. Even so, fully happy to continue on with a life at all, I didn't really allow myself to become emotionally involved with a man for five years.
I did date, though, because I was young and interested in life. I suggest you get interested in living, instead of looking at pictures of other people's lives. Write a bucket list, start crossing things off.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 226
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 226 |
I think the happiness initially was the fact that the bitter divorce was over. Just to be over and done with that was a huge relief.
As far as looking at pictures, I do photography part time and am looking to help on some jobs with a friend. When I was looking at her portfolio to see her styles, I saw mostly wedding photos and it just just kind of struck a chord. I'm not sitting around looking at pictures feeling sorry for myself.
As far as dating, I have.... hasn't been enjoyable
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,437 |
Do you need to earn an income from photography? If not, take pictures you like.
Even if you do, take pictures you like.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708 |
It is said that you have to date many people to find one you 'click' with.
Someone is out there you could enjoy and vice versa.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
While my basic concepts would help you resolve your conflicts if you were to follow them, I am not sure that you're ready to make a decision now that would affect the rest of your life. My standard advice to singles is to date at least 30 people before marriage. Strange advice to some, because, like you, they may have already chosen the one they wanted to marry. But the reason I give that advice is so they come to understand what they need most in an opposite sex relationship. The ones that they find most attractive are those who meet some of their most important emotional needs.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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