I don't know about the rest of you, but I am hanging on to any crumbs of hope that I can at this point. <P>A few crumbs:<P>a phone call without an argument<BR>a day without being sworn at<BR>picking up the kids and she smiles at me<BR>a touch on the arm<BR>laughs at my attempt at joking<BR>asks how I am doing<BR>tells me she still loves me...when I ask<P><BR>

My crumbs...<BR>He is still here.<BR>When he notices that I have fixed up.<BR>When he says I love you.<BR>That he will now talk to me sometimes.<P>I am feeling better about me and that helps a lot~!<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>and if I shed a tear I won't cage it<BR>I won't fear love<BR>and if I feel a rage I won't deny it<BR>I won't fear love<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>"Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"<BR>Sarah Mclachlan<P><BR>

<BR>My crumbs:<P>Three weeks ago, she actually touched me. On purpose. On my back.<P>On the other hand, the next weekend she told me that she would not commit herself to the marriage.<P>Slightly Sane<BR>

Hey, might as well....<P>-he admits he DOESN'T love Sweetie (sorry I just CAN'T call her a woman)<P>-I still get a few hugs here and there.<P>-He's jealous of dinner with BIL (his brother)<P>That's it for now. But better than nothing, right????<P>Lori

When I said "Drive safely" when he was about to go visit his hospitalized father, he said, "you, too" since I was also going on a trip. At least he apparently wasn't hoping that I would crash. That is it. He never touches me, rarely looks me in the eye, never initiates a conversation unless it is about divorce or logistics.

O.K., he keeps planning a recommitment ceremony, so I guess comparatively speaking I have a whole loaf of hope:<P>Here is what I treasure most right now; after being married for over fifteen years, last night we actually handled a difficult situation (a child's bad grades) without pointing fingers. O.K., he pointed at me for a minute, but he was actually correct in placing the responsibility with me. I was able to say "You are right, I have been hiding in our room and letting things slide with him (our teenager). I haven't exactly been whole these past months. I will do better." Later he came to me and said "I'm sorry to have yelled at you. I just think we can't let our situation cause us to fail in our responsibility to the kids. " <P>He got a mini bottle of champagne out of the fridge and said "Wanna split this? I don't know if we ought to celebrate, but I'd like to share it with you."<P>I said "sure, it'll help me sleep". I poured it and handed him his glass. Me: "Do we toast?" Him: "What to?". Me "Second chances?". Him: "To second chances, new beginnings, and working as a team".<P>Later he said "I know it doesn't excuse things, but I have to tell you that I always held it against you that you weren't as involved with our kids schooling as ____.<BR>(my sister in law). I don't want to keep things like that from you any more, so I'll try to find ways to tell you nicely."<P>Wow, a hidden lovebuster revealed! I promised to make the most of my time with the kids after school, which he is so jealous of. (I am a homemaker and went back to college part time a few years ago.)<P>I know for many this seems like so far away, but keep up with Plan A or B, read Love must be tough" to know when to draw the line in the sand, and pray that your spouse will wake up from their fantasy. It can happen. I am seeing the scales fall from my h.'s eyes daily. <P>Hang on to hope till you are sure it's time to move on.<P>LIZ<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by Liz Smith (edited November 03, 1999).]

Here goes:<P>- OW wants him to move down to where she is. He hasn't, so far.<P>- When he writes me notes (recapping everything he did that day around the house), he signs them with "Love, H". For awhile, it was just "H".<P>- He had dinner waiting for me last night when I got home from work.<P>- He gave me a backrub last weekend (but only after I asked).

She hasn't told me she will divorce me.

Although we're separated, he still wants to spend time with me on the weekends. <P>He talks to me at the gym <P>He asks me to lunch or dinner at least once during the week<P>He bought me a cassette tape. He never did that before.<P>He talks to me about work, etc now<P>