Well I would protect my finances...if I had any.


But having my baby, yes I will do that.

But I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. I didn't even get the ILYBNIL speech. I got "I don't love you anymore" and this one is recent: "I have no feelings for you whatsoever"


I guess I can say I tried. HE on the other hand...says he tried, but I guess trying means emotionally detaching, ignoring me, holding resentment with an iron grip and mentally screwing every woman that had a nice [censored] or rack that he saw.


By the way, his reasoning for leaving me 8 months pregnant are:

1) Sex wasn't as fulfilling to him(It was often but not porno-quality) (He didn't even care if I was ever satisfied)
2) The house was cluttered. (I kept it decent, but not spotless)
3) I couldn't work. (I am freaking pregnant with back issues. Doctors orders and he supposedly was okay with it)
4) I hurt his feelings a couple of times when we were fighting. (I apologized profusely for, and I cried when I knew I hurt his feelings...but he doesn't care if I cry...atleast it doesnt really effect him. And he has hurt my feelings and made me cry but I always forgave him and moved on from it)


He said those things "put space" between us and it can't be fixed.


So I guess I really am filing after the birth of the baby.

Of your list only the last makes any sense. Do you fight a lot? Take a look at what Dr Harley says about this
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5067f_qa.html

Some people are devastated by the things we say when we fight, you may have pushed him into withdrawal.

We only fought few times within the last year...but he expects me to just forgive and forget and he apparently cant forget and will hold onto resentment.

But I have talked to him again.





He says he wants his daughter, but not me.
Im different, but only because he changed.
He doesn't know what he wants, but he does know for a fact that he doesn't want me.
He wants to be able to be with other people because I am just not for him anymore.
He said we both made mistakes but he just doesnt want to be married anymore.
He told me he was ashamed of what he did(sending me to my parents house and dumping me while pregnant), but he didnt think dragging out the matter and living a life unhappily with me was a good idea...he didnt want to stick around just for our daughter.
He said he loved me when we planned our baby but the feelings just disappeared and my mistakes didnt help things...not that he was blaming me.

He told me he was willing to lose me to find happiness.

I asked him what did he want, and he said when he found out, he would let me know.
I asked him if he wanted to love me and he said not anymore.

I guess I just have to accept that. I don't know if I feel closure, but I do feel something.

But why do I still feel sad?

Why would you not feel sad? Your hopes and dreams are shattered. Give yourself a chance to grieve for what might have been.

Also start reading the wonderful material on this site so that you do things differently next time. Don't fight, negotiate.

Both phrases are the same and are meant to accomplish the same goal. The most recent one is just upping the ante to make sure you 'get' his disconnection from you.

This is all foggy talk. I am quite certain that he has at least one other woman he is giving his attention to - and possibly more.

You have chosen to divorce him. Can you get an IM in place so you don't have to listen to his self-justifications for screwing around on the mother of his child? Can your attorneys run interference for the two of you?

Yeah I am just going to go no contact on him now.

I got what I needed, his reasonings...which were kind of harsh, but it is what it is.

He tried to paint me as a liar and a monster at some points during our last conversation. Making things I have said a bigger deal than they were. Saying I tried to cause a rift between him and his best friend(I never ever did such a thing...I just told him it was best if he didn't hang out with him too much because he has an addictive personality and he is into hard drugs...and he is an influence on him, I was just looking out for him, I never said to stop talking to him) and that I lied. (I told a white lie once...I deleted my computer history because I was on these forums and I didnt want him to see... ) I know it was wrong but I was embarrassed. I didn't want him ot think negatively of me...I was just trying to help my marriage because I knew he was unhappy. I was trying to learn how to change myself and be a better wife.


People are telling me that he is trying to rewrite history...I dont know.

I apologized for my faults all of the time. In the same breath though, tells me he has changed and this was all of his fault.

He even said "You aren't the person I thought you were."

THAT cut me the deepest.

Gawd, I would be so tempted to respond, "I know how you feel. I thought you were a MAN."

No contact is likely your best action, for you and for your daughter. Do you have legal separation where you are? He sounds terribly immature, like he thinks he can just cross out the whole wife-and-baby thing as if it never happened...like a little kid who, by closing his eyes, can make things disappear. I don't think you'd be able to build an MB marriage with him until he grew up a LOT.

You are also young, and would benefit from incorporating "Honesty is always the best policy" as part of your core. You cannot manage how other people view you by showing them what you think they want, or by hiding things you think they won't like. You can only manipulate, and that makes you...manipulative.

Do things in such a way that you can show the world what you're up to, and you will not go wrong. If something would embarrass you, don't do it. If you truly believe it is right, then do it without embarrassment. I know you'll get this as you age, but I hope you will listen now. Don't do anything you are not willing to stand behind and say, "Yep! That's my doing."

We ALL make mistakes. We all make dumb choices at times. You, your husband, and oh boy, enjoy the baby years because your daughter will eventually make one or several. The character difference is in owning choices and graciously accepting consequences.

Anyway, long way of saying: Be of good character, and you cannot be cut by slights from others.