Hi all. I found out little over a week ago that my husband of less than a yr and a half had a fling a few months ago. He is sorry, has been answering all my questions, has given me all his passwords and all that.

What happened was something like this. Seven months ago I gave birth to our twin sons after a difficult pregnancy, and developed postpartum depression. I was so... unhappy, in general, and its true that I was very hard on him. I found something else out, flipped out, and left him. He had the little fling after I had been gone for a few weeks.

I have a lot of unresolved worries about this. I am listening to his side of the story and I have to admit i sorta see how this could have happened. There's a part of me that wants to forgive and forget as much as possible because... the last couple months, until D day, have been the best of our entire marriage.

but here's the other little hitch. Though he cut this OW off after only a few days she comes back to him pregnant. So then he's seeing her, he says, in a totally nonromantic way, to 'take care' of the pregnancy. Now I know during our happiest times not only was he lying by omission but lying about his whereabouts then.

and... I read an email she sent him a few days ago, and it is chock full of personal stuff about us, and little inside jokes that are totally his style. I had him block her after that, but at the very least i learned she really likes him.

I guess I'm not totally sure what to do or what I'm dealing with. The week after I found out has been hell.. the past couple days i've been reading his side of things and have learned a lot and am starting to understand at least. Where to go from here? how much do I trust him? gah its all such a confused web.

redtulip, sorry for the reasons you are here.

Your husband is still in an active affair and your marriage has no hope unless he ends all contact for life.

Not only is your marriage under assault, but you are at great legal risk with a pregnant OW

I would read everything you can on the pregnancy forum to get yourself up to speed. Go read this from top to bottom: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2445081#Post2445081

melody ty but he says he hasnt touched her since he ended it 3 and a half months ago. also there is no more pregnancy.

What do you mean by there's no more pregnancy?

How do you know this?

because he went with her to appts related to her getting an abortion. that's what I meant.

Does he still have contact with OW?

No... after the abortion was done he cut off contact again but she still tried to talk to him. when he totally ignored her she showed up at his work to tell him if he didnt meet with her she'd tell me everything. and i found out about this whole thing when she used a new number to call him while we were cuddling on the couch. he took the call outside immediately and i overheard part of it and he was telling her never to call him again.

How does he know her? Is she M? Did you expose this?

Will he write her a No contact letter samples and change all his contact information?

shes in the neighborhood and she is not married. I had her block her and we have a nc ready to go.

I would do more than block her. I would change all contact info.

OW are very relentless. Can you move?

funny thats crossed my mind too. i think we might be able to.

That is just the word of a liar, though. And he is still in touch with her so that means the affair is active. One doesn't have to touch an OW to be in an active affair.

Is there a reason your posts are so full of grammatical errors? They are very hard to understand.

I don't understand what this post means. What does "ty" mean?

Are you drinking and posting, redtulip?

ty= thank you.

i'm just distracted by babies. i'll try to be more careful ok? so I should have said 'i had *him* block her', as in, block her phone number.

If she's trying to contact him and he's ignoring her is that really an active affair in a meaningful sense? the last time she called he only picked up because she called from a new number. Now he could be lying... but i don't think he is.

I'm not a drinker. I don't think my opening post was that hard to understand. seriously...

Yes, as long as they are in contact the affair is on. And keep in mind, he is ALLOWING HER TO CONTACT HIM.

See, an affair is an addiction and as long as she is hanging around to tempt him, you can consider your marriage in serious jeopardy. And as long as he takes her calls and emails, he is in contact with her.

Your other posts are very hard to understand.

okay, you have a point about that. but... she did feel ignored and desperate enough to show up at his workplace to demand a meeting. He wasn't taking her calls, she only managed to contact him by calling from a different number.

i'm trying to get the most accurate picture here about what exactly is going on and what has gone on. I feel like he's been pretty open about details and stuff