I'm wondering if we are there. Married 25 years with 6 children. He has a porn addiction. Lost a job because of it. That put him on the wagon for a few years. Then earlier this year I discovered he was looking at porn again. When confronted he admitted to masturbation too. He works out of town for sometimes a couple weeks at time which doesn't help. Then this past weekend I think he was looking again. He swears he wasn't. Something in me though just shut down.......There were no tears, no being scared of him leaving (other than the support of the kids), and no wild make up sex even though we are co-existing and he thinks things are fine. Honestly though they're not. I'm not happy. I'm not sleeping and honestly its just easier when he's gone........ I've done everything I know to do and its never going to change. So what is the point? He won't do counselling because he's always gone......well he said he did some phone counselling anonymously through his job this last time but I have no way of knowing if that was just a lie. I'm tired and I just want some happiness in life.

Welcome to Marriage Builders.

Here is an article by Dr. Harley entitled "when to call it quits?" Maybe it will be helpful for you.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_quit.html

Dr. Harley recommends that husbands and wives not spend the night apart or take jobs that have them apart overnight.

And beyond that, he says that if either of you engages in behavior that you aren't both enthusiastic about, it will destroy the feeling of love in your marriage. This is what has happened: he is spending the night away, masturbating, looking at porn, all kinds of things that you are not enthusiastic about, and it has destroyed your feelings for him. A marriage can't be successful unless the husband and wife take care of each other and protect each other by not doing things that hurt the other in this way.

Alonex, your lifestyles are not set up to sustain a marriage. No amount of counseling can overcome the damage caused by a traveling job. Marriage Builders could transform your marriage but you would have to change your lifestyles. No marriage could survive that kind of lifestyle for long.