And a great piece of news for me... my finance was approved today!!!

I am building myself a HOME!!!

Yay! That's awesome and empowering!

Thanks Jen. I am very excited. Understatement of the year actually. It really feels reality now... that I can do this, on a single income. I worried it would not be possible.

The builders have even asked if I am able to bring the start date forward. No stopping me now!

Congrats Car.

You should take a pic of your toes and add it to the toenail thread.

Caracal, you have put into words some of my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you.

And YAY YAY YAY on the house. I'll have a nice warm place to visit next summer(here) to escape the heat.

Thanks BH. I will add a pic if I ever figure out how to do this on my smart phone. Pathetic I know, as I actually have some house pics I would love to share.

Wow Scotty, putting some of your thoughts and feelings into words, when you are so eloquent, I feel honoured.

Maybe your guidance is rubbing off on me

And you will be welcome in my house next summer... I will have an outdoor fan in the alfresco room AND evaporative cooling. Just don't expect a mansion... I have friends building a double-story palace at the moment and have nicknamed mine the post stamp!

The best part of your home is that it is all YOURS! Let me say it again, it is all YOURS! Now you try it.......say it......it is MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE......feels good? Sorry had to add some plan B IB dance.

Caracal,

Great news. You sound so happy. Figure out how to upload some pics. I am very curious to see 1) your house and 2) your nails.

AM

I think Indie covered it, and I find it strange the man posed that question that way too

It is his problem and your awareness is serving you well IMHO

Grats on your house too

Thanks CP.

I thought I should update about the in-laws for others in Plan B to learn from. Lord knows, I have struggled over in-laws and Plan B. I have grieved a lot.

I have had intermittent contact with three SIL's. The other SIL (the eldest) is the one who told me of OC in March, in her own way. She now has no contact with me. She made her choice. Part of me is very grateful; she is the only one who has given me any truth.

Maybe not very Plan B... I sent SIL's an email a couple of weeks ago after Gollum's accusation towards me and my father of trespassing and theft. As some of the accused theft involved family items, I wrote that I wanted to "reassure them I did not take any family items, and they were welcome to contact me with any questions."

The response back was no-one wanted to get involved with property settlement. But that all of the SIL's wanted to stay in touch, with me and my parents.

I dropped around some of Gollum's items and the key to storage to a SIL this week. I took my father as a witness and as support. This is sad... I now no longer trust any of Gollum's family. I can not tell any of them of my plans for a house, because it may get back to Gollum and enter the property settlement. I hate deception.

SIL was not there, but my BIL and nephews were. I miss them. It was lovely to see them. My take... BIL is not directly related. He sees Gollum for who he is. He said my father and I were always welcome in his home, and "please don't be strangers, please visit". But his wife (SIL) has not contacted. So maybe these are just words, not actions.

I am unsure if these particular in-laws worry about my response... worry I blame them for Gollum's actions and want me to initiate contact. Or if they prefer to ignore me, so they can ignore their brother's waywardness. The SIL has caught up with me a few times since D Day. But I was a mess at the time.

As soon as I got in the car, I said to my father.. "We can hold our heads high around Gollum's family. They know that. Gollum can not face anyone. The days of feeling humiliated by him are over. He humiliates himself."

My father welled up.

Love my family to bits.

Yeah blood is thicker than water, glad you have those two on your side Cara

What's a caracal btw?

I'm sure there is some family protection going on with the sisters, so yeah pay them no mind

Its a cat. Very elusive. I felt very privelidged to see one in the wild.

Amazing!

X2

X 3

Oh is that cat from down under?

Caracals are found in Africa and parts of Asia.

Although since they have been known to sometimes bring an ostrich down, I imagine they would love it here with the roos

After divorce you may be able to have a relationship with the sil. Especially the kids

I have hit a low point in my Plan B.

Today and yesterday... my energy has really plunged. I am emotional. Tears threatening at work, and back to sobbing as soon as I get home.

I haven't had this for many months.

Where did this come from?

I am wondering if the grief has struck about OC... I have been thinking OC is likely born or not far off. One of my colleagues is heavily pregnant and acting as a major trigger for me.

Or maybe a combination... I started to get too confident of my Plan B? I stopped my sleeping meds and thought I could go cold turkey. I feel absolutely exhausted.

Anyone know if stopping sleeping meds can cause this mood swing? It seems much more than just being tired.