Married 17 years, one child.

Wrote my husband a letter, can copy it if necessary, discussing my feelings three months ago via email. I explained that I felt left out of his life and asked if he was checking out. No response to this day. Upon occasion, I text/email him while we are each at work but he doesn't respond. Yet, he gets on twitter with sports following and IMMEDITELY twitters away to any of those he follows or is following.

Additional info: I send maybe 3 texts or emails a week to him. He doesn't talk much when home. I do not think he is cheating.

My questions: is he tuning me out? What should I do if so? Or am I being too needy?

Welcome to MB.

Have you read this?
A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts

Have you verified he isn't cheating?

Carol, it sounds like you have grown apart. A couple must spend 15 hours of undivided attention time together in order to just MAINTAIN the love in the marriage. If that doesn't happen, the couple falls out of love.

I would check out the articles here about falling in love and focus especially on spending 15 hours a week together.

Check out this article: The Policy of Undivided Attention

Here you go The Policy of UA
How To Meet Emotional Needs

Some more good reading.
How to Create your own plan to Resolve conflicts and Restore Love to your Marriage

Is there a hobby or pastime that you enjoy doing together. Perhaps you can spend some recreational time together without the kids. I wouldn't bring up issues just yet. Try this undivided time for a week and then try to broach the subject in person, not via email or text.

I feel like i am kind of in the same boat as you. We have been married for 20 years with two teenagers and a history on his part of an EA 7 years ago. Although there is not any signs of any new affairs, we have grown apart at least to an uncomfortable part on my end. I have stopped really asking for undivided attention and started doing my own thing or with my daughters. I feel like our marriage is going down fast. I don't think we have had sex in almost a year! He just sits and watches sports or military channel shows or does stuff around the house. I know he loves me and occasionally throws me a bone with love comments or showing affection but it is my number one need and he does not fulfill it. We have tried counseling especially after the affair. I don;t blame him for the EA as I know my part in it but still to this day I am angry at him for it. I do still have triggers but very rarely. I just don't know how to "wake" him up. He does not want a divorce or anything like that. He knows that it should be better but I honestly feel like unless I "shock" the situation that nothing is going to happen. This is not something that I want to do. I am at a loss.

[t/j] Nary, I don't mean to be threadjacking Carolnenee's thread, but how does that work (or as the case may be, not work)? Are you saying he just flat-out turned you down, every time, until it was too painful for you to risk the rejection of pursuing him anymore? I don't want to assume, and am just trying to establish the facts of your specific situation, in case it may help others to chime in with relevant advice. (Maybe best to continue on a thread of your own?) Sorry for the t/j.

Nary, Dr Harley would agree with you about the shock. Read his article about When to Call it Quits. The woman in this case restored her marriage to a happy, fulfilling, romantic marriage, by the way: When to Call it Quits