I don't care what anybody says to me.... I'm not giving him a key!

Can't you have bill cancelled and set up your own solo account in your name?

He doesn't have access to anything in the home, can't do anything that way to make his presence known then....

(Sidebar - he's not really a very worthy adversary, is he? If I was trying to stamp my wayward feet and make my presence known I'd have cancelled the whole thing on the day of your favourite show)

I know its hard, but stay away from petty stuff and don't focus on the things your STBX does. At the end of the day, you'll be glad and you'll be healthier for it. Your husband has a ton of issues that he will pay a price for. Whether the karma bus hits him now or later, it will happen, and it may not happen in ways that are readily apparent to you.

As Eric Heiden, Olympic Gold medalist speed skater, once said when asked about how he won his races, "You have to keep your eye on your own race." So that means filter out the other stuff. The small stuff.

So, Star, mind your shop and clean out his. You're still in the thick things emotionally and will be for awhile, but this too shall pass. I'm one year out from Dday, and because I've done the things that MB suggests (for the most part), I'm in a better place. You've done those things too, and you will recover well. I can tell by your great spirit.

Peace.

Thank you ladies! I appreciate your caring comments/advice.

My bf sent me an email this morning that WH sent her. She said she was reluctant, but decided I should know. She realizes he's not getting through to me, because I ignore him and don't respond to anything.

Anyway, for what it's worth, here's what he sent her:

I suggest as a friend of BW, that you should tell her to be very careful about what she puts on social media's.� A lot of her friends are friends of mine, so I will find out about it.� Secondly it's not healthy for her to play private investigator.� Following me around and taking pictures of my truck is not normal behavior.� If she has put spy ware on my phone some how, I'll find out about it next week, and if it's traced back to the IP address on BW's laptop, she'll be in some�trouble with the law.� She apparently has forgotten she filed for divorce.� I have tried to be frendly with her and say hi at work, and she doesn't respond.� I have given up.� I wish BW the best

I'm not following him around... my mom saw his truck at the whore's house. He's obviously paranoid about his phone being bugged. I have never bugged his phone. Of course, he's trying to blame shift and make me out to be the crazy person and saying he is moving on because "I" filed for divorce. Poor baby didn't have any other choice but to hop in bed with the company slut! lol...
I'm sorry, but this just makes me laugh!

My attorney sent his attorney yesterday:

Please be advised Mr. Wayward Husband is continuously removing marital assets from the former marital home without consent of my client.

It is my understanding he is going through all of my client's personal belongings, including her undergarment drawers, nightstand, clothes' closet, etc.

My client would request Mr. WH provide her notice of his intent to enter the former marital home. She also requests he not enter the former marital home without a law enforcement escort to insure her privacy and belongings are not disturbed.

Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to this matter.

atta girl, star. i'm so glad you changed the locks! i didn't think i'd be able to refrain from posting without reading all the updates till i hit that one.

your WH is farking with you, that's all. it has nothing to do with you personally. he loves manipulating you and hurting you and driving you crazy. you need a dark plan b so he can fark off, you know? and his email to your IM was just more rubbish trying to "get" you. as GGMS said, use your WH to practice making a new you! then you can laugh when these kinds of things happen.

again, i'm glad you changed the locks. it's illegal here, but they would have had to cite me in contempt of court for it - i simply wasn't going to be hurt any more and needed my haven. good on you for getting it, and for lighting a fire under an attorney.

keep up the good work, stay strong, and make your next "to do" item having your work email handled so that WH is blocked from you. he is harrassing you, and that is not acceptable.

Woo ha!

The letter the attorney sent is super!

WH can't play games with you.

Glad your attorney sent that letter.

Did you ask your friend to no longer send you any craziness that your WH decides to send her? This is yet another hole in PLan B.

What's going on with your plan B?

I do like the letter my attorney sent.

My friend responded to WH today and she sent the following:


She hasn't put spyware on your phone and she hasn't been following you. Someone took that picture and sent it to her. I know because she told me when they did it.�

If you truly believe her behavior is not "normal", implying she is somehow imbalanced, then why on earth would you keep tormenting her and instigating such "behavior".�

And maybe she doesn't want to talk to you at work (or ever) because you are rubbing your current affair with a mutual coworker in her face. And yep, it's an affair. You are still married.

It is impossible to see you as the victim and if you're being honest with yourself, you know that.�You don't need to retrieve car wax and an iPod docking station from the residence. You are f*ing with her.�Just leave her alone.�


**After she sent this, I asked her to block his email and not respond to him ever again. I also told my family and friends that I don't want to know about WH and OW#3 anymore. I know he's staying over there and I know he's doing it to piss me off as he dated her years ago. He knows I don't like her, she came up in MC. He is doing everything he can to get to me, but I'm holding firm and not responding or feeding into any of his games. I am ignoring him, don't look at him or speak to him. I pretend he doesn't exist.

I did have a strange feeling that came over me today though and I couldn't shake it. WH and I were experiencing infertility and I'm sure OW#3 knows this. She's not the marrying type and is a gold-digger. I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to trap him with a pregnancy, if she hasn't already. Just a gut feeling and two other friends of mine mentioned having the same feeling today. Very odd...and very disturbing. I took a Xanax to calm my nerves, so I hopefully won't dream about it.

WH will be gone all next week for his family reunion out of state, so this will give me some relief as well. I won't be worrying so much about him coming over, etc. Although I changed the locks, it is still unnerving at times.

I am so glad to see that you are doing so well. I am soooo glad that your attorney prepared and sent that letter for you so quickly. I am glad you have updated us. I check whenever I am on. How IS plan B working for you? How have you filled your time? Thank goodness he will be gone next week!!! You will get a break!!!!

I'm doing good... Eating, sleeping not as much as I like or need, but I am sleeping. Trying to drink more water, eat healthy, exercise, loving my pets, working hard and focusing at my job, spending time with family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. I'm smiling and laughing, holding my head high even when I want to cry.

This weekend, I am planning on treating myself to a pedicure and massage!

that sounds like a good plan b treat! enjoy!

Good Plan B treat, good plugging of holes with F&F and the locks.

You'll get less wary about him dropping by once he gets the message that he wont get in.

I would now anticipate him hitting you harder at work, because waywards work the weakest gap.

I would send the emails he's sent you to your supervisor and ask them to speak to his supervisor about harrassing you on company time.

And then hit the job ads every weekend.

Star, your thoughts and focus shouldn't be on your WH while you are in Plan B. Your continued contact, and indirect contact is keeping you IN the drama. When is enough going to be enough for you? Because, frankly, it's killing ME to watch, because I KNOW where you're at, and I know how much better you could feel on the other side, if you were to just enter a true Plan B.

I do agree with Scotty.

When you have no idea what they are up to...you CAN'T think about them. The brain is freed up.

My H could have won the lottery or been charged with murder.. I wouldn't know.

So, I am on the county website checking the status of paperwork that has been filed, etc. for our divorce and notice another case with both of our names. I click on it when I realize it's an injunction as I thought this might have been done by my attorney. I take a closer look and I am the defendant! WTF? Seriously?
It was filed last Friday for Domestic Violence w/o Children. The judge dismissed it the same day and I only knew about it because I checked online today.

What on earth could be the motive behind this one? I haven't seem him, spoke with him or responded to anything! How could I possibly be abusive or violent? What's the deal with this one... Any thoughts?

He is strategizing or attempting to in order to weather the divorce with as much custody and finances as possible by coloring the situation to justify his position.

Fret not.

Stay dark and do not feed the drama in any way.

My first thought is that this man is a selfish, raging lunatic and I am ever so thankful you are soon going to be rid of him Starfish!

But, other than that, could you call the county and ask to get information about it? I would imagine you have a right to know about a charge that was filed against you.

Learning from my own mistakes, I wouldn't bother. It will only widen the Plan B crack and keep you in the drama.

Who the he77 cares what WH is doing. If this is what keeps him busy, let him do it. You can't control it anyway.

In case it might strengthen your legal position, tell your lawyer. He / she can investigate.