Can your work email address not be changed?

After explaining to the powers that be why it needs to be changed, can it still not be changed?

If not, a new job would definitely be a good idea.

JB,

Seriously look into and consider finding a new job... in a different state... several states away.

Get on it, NOW.

Ooooooooooooooops - and include your wife and PoJA the final decision.

The one thing you can control is that job and your residence.

I'd get a plan together to get out of there and start over. Sure, it's not what you planned financially but, well, what's the alternative? To live with the gorilla for another year or two or three?

You know the answer.

ususally i post to the site when things are bad and some event happened that knocks us done and i feel like crap. this morning my wife is asleep and i am at peace. there is nothing hugely emotional or drama like here and to most it might seem boring but this is a reality check to put things in perspective for myself and seek advice from the unknown masters that help us live our extrodinary lives.

life happens, its not neat and pretty. what defines me is how i react to the things that are thrown at us...understood that 99 percent of the time we create our own problems... especially as we get older.

when we are young and full of vigor, our head is full of dreams and goals. as we get older, some goals become fulfiled and some we realize are out of reach.... and staying the course to live the extordinary life we intended becomes lost.

so we make mistakes...big mistakes... ok ridculously huge mistakes... but we build and move on and become something great.

So this is my check, my road to repair, our road to our new marriage. i am sticking with two topics that are at the forefront of discussion these days.

TRUST - although there some legal complications, i have contacted a lawyer to have a post nup drawn up that basically says " in the case of infidelity on my part ever again, my wife would get everything" in the divorce. i can't tell you how real that is when you say that, yet i feel comfortable with it. isn't this a sobering reality check for both parties because you are putting everything on the line. so i am tring to move on with our new marriage. i am an open book. computer, phone, emails text, notification if i take $ out of the bank, constant communication....i'm out there... exposed..easily attainable, i am all in.

PROTECTION
I have followed the plan. ok i sruggled with giving up things, the phone, changing my work email, but this has been in place for some time. The struggle was more work related than anything else.

I cant control outside forces... no one can. i can only control my own actions and how i react to the given situation. things happen, in reality... something will happen again...so what... this is suppose to be our life now... working as a team. but my reaction will also reflect my wifes reacton. if we react like a team... we are a team... we are a marriage. It is hard to comfort someone that is angry. I will work on the comfort part.

sure we can move, i can get a different job. maybe we will... but in the end we are not cavemen sending smoke signals... the world is smaller and you can find anything on the internet. so we move and start our new lives and contact occurs... but we changed everything about our lives, job, friends, family, geography..... super devestating... all because of an email or a phone call. what then? you changed your whole life to avoid this....

In reality we could move pretty easily, and i could actualy get into it. but there is reality. It is about how we approach it and and how we react to the situations that are thrown at us.