Has anyone found where Dr. Harley addresses this? I'm reading HNHN for parents & not finding any references. I realize this question is probably geared more towards parenting vs. marriage building, but was interested to know Dr. H's thoughts or others on this forum. Thnx!

Well, as MB doesn't work unless both parties agree to the policies, I don't see how PORH would work unless your teen agreed to it, and teenagers are notorious liars! Lol.

With honesty and transparency with my teen, I just demonstrate that he can tell me the truth and I respect a certain level of privacy. IMO, demanding transparency from a teenager is a good way to incite rebellion or to stunt their growth as adults. I try to keep in mind that I am not raising children; I am raising adults.

Thanks CWMI, I guess ur right in that you would have to use POJA to get the PORH! LOL, dang, was so wanting a good excuse to key logger my 13 yr old's phone...;)

You're paying for it, right? That's what the programs are for, monitoring children. My son got a phone when he was 13, and when he was 14 I removed picture texting from his capabilities because, as I told the woman who blocked it for me, "He ain't using it right!" You don't need PORH to keep your children safe.

My kids all know that as long as they are under my roof, everything they own is mine and subject to my eyes. I do tend to leave them be unless there is a reason for me to look into it, like slipping grades, so they know as long as they act right, they have a lot of freedom. Just like the grown-up world, lol.

If you have legit concerns, I would not hesitate to slap a logger on there, but I would do it without mentioning it. And if your 13yo turns out to not be using it right, I would not hesitate to remove the priveledge. <<that's how it works in the grown-up world, too.

Good luck! I hope you only find normal 13yo stuff! They're pretty gross at times, but I think it's good to guide without dictating or over-reacting. Like with my son's pictures, he was doing normal boy stuff in puberty. However, it was also illegal in my state. So I kept the convo on keeping him out of trouble until his brain caught up with his body, rather than chastising him for doing what just about any raging hormoner would.

I honestly thought you meant to have mutual PORH with your teen, lol. That's hilarious!

I can't even pretend to be a parenting expert, but I do like my style. My 9yo daughter had a birthday party this year at one of the places where they make up the girls and do a glamour show, and one of the girls ran off and hid and tried to get all the other girls to stop because "there's a boy watching us." I thought that was a little over the top, especially considering it was a boy of about 7yo who was dragged in there for his sister's haircut, and her mother knew what we were doing. The girls were in princess dresses, no hot pants or poles, lol. The girl said she wasn't allowed to dance in front of boys. She is enrolled in ballerina classes. Um..?

The first thing to do is discuss it with your spouse, of course. If you both think it's a good idea, there's a good chance it probably is.

Totally agree with the pretty gross! Eeegghh, even so , the girls are starting to text him & just want to ensure some boundaries. Saw a text yesterday (& btw, have probably only looked thru his texts 2-3 times in this 1st yr of him having a phone) where he said he had "been deleting his texts so his mom wouldn't see them". That was the proverbial for me.
I give credit to MB for the ability to even see the as pre-A , I would've never looked at my son's phone or my FWH.
And to Markos; thanks! We did POJA this, but did feel odd asking FWH this, as there is still some residual fogginess in his (fwh) behavior.