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Okay, maybe I'm naive. Maybe I just don't let things impact me like they others. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
What happened to reading a book, enjoying the book while you're reading it because it's fiction (or whatever genre), and then getting back to life when you close the cover? Yes I know the psychology behind this. But, seriously, some people need to learn to control themselves. If I read a book and there's a supermodel wife that cooks and cleans and smells like cotton candy when she wakes up, I don't start judging my marriage or my wife based on some fictional character...or movie scene or drama on stage or etc. I think Catherine Zeta Jones was beautiful in Zorro. I don't wish my wife was more like her. My wife thinks Matt Damon's character in the Bourne series is attractiv and a badass when defeating the bad guys. She isn't going to start comparing to me an action superstar. Taht would be silly.
I used to play Dungeons and Dragons a lot as a teenager. I had a friend that got swept up in the fantasy in it, got disatisfied with life, and killed himself. Does this mean Dungeons and Dragons is dangerous and should be boycotted? Godzilla movies are on the questionable list. The THREE STOOGES must go !!!!! Very DANGEROUS!!!!! *ducking*
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Joined: Oct 2010
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Okay, maybe I'm naive. Maybe I just don't let things impact me like they others. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
What happened to reading a book, enjoying the book while you're reading it because it's fiction (or whatever genre), and then getting back to life when you close the cover? Yes I know the psychology behind this. But, seriously, some people need to learn to control themselves. If I read a book and there's a supermodel wife that cooks and cleans and smells like cotton candy when she wakes up, I don't start judging my marriage or my wife based on some fictional character...or movie scene or drama on stage or etc. I think Catherine Zeta Jones was beautiful in Zorro. I don't wish my wife was more like her. My wife thinks Matt Damon's character in the Bourne series is attractiv and a badass when defeating the bad guys. She isn't going to start comparing to me an action superstar. Taht would be silly.
I used to play Dungeons and Dragons a lot as a teenager. I had a friend that got swept up in the fantasy in it, got disatisfied with life, and killed himself. Does this mean Dungeons and Dragons is dangerous and should be boycotted? Godzilla movies are on the questionable list. The THREE STOOGES must go !!!!! Very DANGEROUS!!!!! *ducking* Godzilla movies are DEFINITELY on the questionable list. As if I subjected my wife to one, she would question my sanity. However! We have found that action movies are a good shared experience - ala the misattribution of arousal - the excitement garnered is partially attributed to each other.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Joined: Jun 2008
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With technology, we could all play dungeons and dragons or magic the gathering! All we'd need is Skype.
I kid I kid
Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Godzilla movies are on the questionable list.
The THREE STOOGES must go !!!!! Very DANGEROUS!!!!!
*ducking* Funny you say that Pep. I'm watching the movie of the 3 stooges right now - the kids wanted to see it and I figured what the heck. Well I have to tell you. I would say that movie makers otday seem to manage to find just about every way possible to work smut into a PG movie. Might not be all bad, but there are plenty of references (and choice visuals) to get an "under 13" started with the exposutre to pornographic-style material. I realize you were referring to the old t.v. shows, but I just thought it was ironic that I was seeing this particular movie. I guess the "your brain on porn" site has me looking at everything diferently...literally.  opt
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Dunno. We'll see what my other source reveals... The answer was on today's radio show (8/23/12). Not a real solid answer, like what we have for porn... but the comparison was made; that most romantic novels are actually more sexually stimulating to women, more or less because they are written with women's libido in mind. What was brought to the forefront here, however, was a rather simple fact; that most men would not be threatened by their wife either reading a romance novel or watching pornography. However, being aware of contrast effect is important. The recommendation; if reading a romance novel (or viewing a romantic movie) contributes to your marriage not feeling as happy/satisfying, don't do it. I leave you all to listen.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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Here's the radio clip where Dr. H answers the question about romance novels. It's towards the end. Radio clip on romance novels
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Dr Harley spoke against the use of porn in marriage on today's radio show and said that even if both people agree to use porn (POJA) it is a BAD idea
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Dr Harley spoke against the use of porn in marriage on today's radio show and said that even if both people agree to use porn (POJA) it is a BAD idea Here's a past show of where he talks about this very thing. Radio clip about POJA porn?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I do agree that romance books and novels generate very silly ideas. I also think that some women become aroused or compare their husband to male roles. That's clearly dangerous.
However, I wouldn't put it on the same level as porn, because the lovebank deposits made are incidental, not purposeful.
The problem is the line is too broad and its too easy to stumble across these contrast effects, like with a PG movie.
Porn on the other hand is a deliberate attempt to sit down and get major needs met, including the most intimate of all - SF.
Having an orgasmic reaction to media is a much larger effect on the lovebank and the brain than 'Wow it'd be nice if my husband did that'.
I think porn deserves an outright ban while POJA should be used to monitor the rest. Joyce for example makes Dr H cover his eyes if there's unexpectedly a naked woman on screen when they watch TV/films. Its incidental, but she uses POJA to handle it nevertheless.
I think if certain media is making women fantasise/aroused they need to come clean re RH. Just as they should re an attractive coworker.
And men should be aware of the danger too, of course.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Very interesting clip, thanks for posting it. I would consider porn to be a betrayal as well.
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Porn should be banned.
Everything is prolific today. Especially sin.
The Bible warns, "The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?"
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Dr Harley spoke against the use of porn in marriage on today's radio show and said that even if both people agree to use porn (POJA) it is a BAD idea Here's the clip HDW is talking about. Radio clip about POJA and porn
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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