Been reading posts on here for months now, but have finally decided to get some advice.

This isn't something I've been able to talk to anyone about. It's simply too embarrassing.

The wife and I have been married for 11 years. Pretty much from the moment we married, her sex drive went to zero. Turns out she was abused by a family member when she was 10 years old, so for years I tried to get her to seek help to see if there was something we could do to restore out sex life.

We had our first daughter 2 years into the marriage, we only had sex to conceive, and after she became pregnant sex was non-existent, until last year when she wanted to have another child. I was hesitant to start over with another child, over the years, I'd sort of sheltered my frustration and sort of checked out emotionally from the marriage. But she convinced me this was the right thing to do and we had a baby boy soon after.

During her pregnancy, she was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. The MG combined with the Post Pregnancy depression was pretty out of control. I assumed most of the household duties and when I wasn't working, I spent 100% of my time caring for the baby and my now 8 year old daughter. The stress of work and home was simply out of control, the only way I knew to handle it was to shut off my emotions and push forward. Kinda like a robot in many ways.. Wake up, Go To Work, Come home, take care of my kids do household chores, etc... My wife began sleeping on the sofa because the baby would wake her up, so I wasn't getting much sleep either.

So this past February, she'd asked me to help her connect her cell phone to a bluetooth device she had. In doing so, i discovered a series of emails between her and some man. There were pictures involved. I asked her what was going on, and her response was that it was unimportant. Just an online thing, that she'd been feeling neglected and needed attention. I was shocked. Here I was faithful for 10 years, working like an animal and taking care of my family, and my disease stricken wife is texting pictures of herself to some supposed stranger online.

I did my best to stay calm, and she assured me that nothing had happened, she'd never talked to this person, or even seen this person. We spent the next couple of days discussing how it was my fault this had all happened, and I agreed that I would be more supportive and simply pay more attention.

I spent the next 8 months frantically trying to save my family. I began sending her romantic texts every morning from work, encouraged her whereever I could. I began neglecting everyone else in my life, including my parents and brothers, to simply focus on her and the kids. I took us on a big vacation, would bring flowers home all the time. Constantly showering her with praise and letting her know that she was the most important person in my life.

Then, I found it. I series of email left behind on a computer at home along with some pretty disturbing pictures. I was beside myself. I confronted her, and after denying it she came clean. She still claims it doesn't mean anything and that this is still a result of things that happened earlier in the marriage. So somehow, I'm still to blame, even though I've done everything I could to please her and do everything in my power to save my marriage and family.

What am I supposed to do here? I don't think she has any intention of stopping this "thing" she has going. She refuses to even talk about what she was doing, only wanting to place the blame on me for her behavior. If I leave, my kids suffer and she would too I suppose.

IDK... Simply confused.

I would put a stop to it. Expose her affair to everyone, confront the OM, and even cut off the internet if you have to. Go to her and DEMAND that she end contact or this will lead to divorce.

Do you know who the OM is? Is he married? Have you saved the evidence of the affair?

But before you do that, slip a keylogger on her computer so that you can see what she does. A good one is eblaster at spectorsoft.com because it will email you the reports.

Did you save this evidence?

I want to assure you that the goal with my advice in the previous post is to save your marriage. Exposing the affair and putting a stop to it gives you the best chance of recovery. Go read the link in my signature about exposure.

MD-

Since youve been here for some time you know the drill. Expose the A far and wide.

A person you love is conducting the most selfish, moronic thing she could do. Why? She has allowed this a-hole in to her world and let him meet some needs you werent. Nothing more.

If you sit and think about it, a loser she met online managed to get her into the most compromising position. She has taken it to the point where everything good in her life is almost going to disappear. This is someone to be helped and pitied.

The first step is to end it.

End her fantasy.

Welcome to Marriage Builders, Mr. Dad.
Surely you can see the complete fog that she is in, can you not? You are enabling her entitlement when you allow her to pass the blame for her actions on to someone else, to-wit:
What happened to her as a child is immaterial to her adult choice to be unfaithful to you. This is ridiculous. Her illness is such that she can't be awakened even momentarily by her own child, but she can send pictures to strange men?? Nope - that one flunks the smell test. Understand, Mr. Dad, that when women fall out of love with their husbands they will begin refusing to sleep in the same bed with them. Nothing happened?? NOTHING HAPPENED??? Mr. Dad, she is emailing and sending pictures to another man!! Something is happening, here! It's UNIMPORTANT??? And you were okay with that explanation?? Um, no. No, you aren't going anywhere. And you're not going to disrupt your children by taking them anywhere, either. If your wife continues to engage in this adulterous behavior she'll need to leave. By herself.

Who is this hound dog she's sending pictures and emails to?

Have you put a keylogger on her computer (without her knowledge!)?