i have read everything on the site

DnD

Don't believe ML is the only one following this line of questioning /reasoning.

I am one of the ones who doesn't take to kindly having another mans hands on my W yet you promoted it.

Hmm.... OM's face quit hitting my fists when my son pulled me away from him.

Pretty stong feelings here and it does make a difference as to when the right or wrong time is for adultry.

Love to here your explanation

nESRE

You betcha our views are very different and that is why I am here supporting your marriage. Your "views" have all but wrecked your marriage and ruined your life and I don't see that you are in the least bit honest about that. I see no recognition and absolutely no remorse, which means nothing has changed.

I am not surprised you sidestepped my question about what you mean by the "right time" and the "right reasons."

You won't get anywhere until you are honest. Honest with yourself and honest with us.

I suspect you think that your nasty little adultery ploy has just hit a bump in the road but can be put back on track in the future when your wife gets over her feelings. Thats what you meant by the "right time" and the "right reasons," right?

I think its quite an ingenious way to get away with adultery. Here you get caught committing adultery and what do you do? You don't stop, you just invite your wife to join you in adultery and call it a cute name like "swinging." All the time proclaiming over and over "it was a mutual decision!!" This way, she is your partner in crime instead of the victim who interferes with your fun.

How about answering my question about the "right time" and the "right reasons."

Okay, then answer this. How do you think MB can help you have a better marriage if you support adultery and a swinging lifestyle?

i have read everything on the site

Oh, yes, I recall from your first post:

i have been reading a lot of the site for the last week and finally found somewhere that i believe in

So you "believe in" the portions that you chose, but decide to skip(?) the parts about fidelity and marital protection!

The concept of a healthy marriage is not a smorgasbord that you walk through and select those portions that look inviting. Depending on your choice of denomination or creed, somewhere in the wedding vows that set the groundrules that you agreed to live by was a phrase to the effect of "forsaking all others". Is any of this ringing a bell?

So when you discovered that Mr Happy was not going to rise to the occasion unless you were watching your wife get railed by a posse of snakes, you decided that those vows were no longer convenient for you? And you're going to preach to us about the content and viability of the material on this site?

Really? Well, if so, please continue, and demonstrate how your version of conjugal "tag" is working out for you and the little woman!

Are you addicted to adultery? Is that why you are hanging on so tight here? Is that why you are using all the weasel words?

I haven't been able to read all of the added posts. Is Dave really trying to rationalize adultery(swinging) on a Marriage BUILDERS site?

I hope I'm missing something?

hah you guys are now starting to make me laugh you are becoming so far upselves you dont see it, i thought there was empathy, a was to right the wrongs and repair the damage but certain ones of you wish to just be marriage bashers. So is the scene adultours yes it yes, but its by mutual consent. When i said it wasnt the right time etc was meaning and refering to we hadnt actually got closure on the affair. Do either of us regret swinging in one sense no and in another yes but unless you are in the lifestyle you wouldnt have the faintest idea. This was not about me watching her with other men as that is cuckolding, i had no issues when we played as a couple with another couple or been watched by other, the problems started when the wife started to play without me and becuase of my inner guilt i could never rise to the occasion to play without her.

brainhurts no i am NOT trying to raitonalize it, i accept it was a mistake looking back and wrong but i cannot change the past or history all i can do is move forward and change. to resuce and save my marriage and show my wife how much i have always cared and loved her

The only way to do this is to accept the fact that there is no good way or good time to introduce adultery into a marriage, whether by mutual consent or not.

Until you realize that, this program really has nothing to offer you.

So you're quitting the lifestyle so you can work on your marriage?

That is no where close to the time "the problems started".


Think back to the time you conceived of the notion that swinging is merely a lifestyle choice and not what it really is.... Vulgar...Disgusting...soul searing...Shameless adultery.

Mr. W

Just as I suspected, he supports and advocates adultery using the justification that it was done by "mutual consent."

As Dr Phil would say, "how's that working for ya, buddy?"

"I just got hit by a car playing chicken but it was done by 'mutual consent!' unless you have played chicken yourself, you wouldn't have the faintest idea!! Where's your empathy for us chicken players??!!"

GOOD GRIEF...

I think you are fooling yourself dave about how much "the wife" enjoyed swinging. It is unlikely for a woman who is shy and closed minded about sex to suddenly do an about face and become a swinger. She entered into swinging because YOU dragged her into it. It is also why she stopped including you...because she did not enjoy swinging and never did.


This is obvious to everyone here but you. Interestingly, YOU are the one whose marriage is in ruins. Maybe you should listen.


Why do you keep calling her "the wife" like she is some object that you own.

Your marriage has no hope until you show some understanding and remorse for your abuse of her. Stop talking about how much she enjoyed it...clearly she did not.

Yes I have or thought I had already said that, we have quit and have no contact with anyone in the scene. If I can save our marriage n wife I have NO plans or thoughts to return to it either

Ok given you don't know my wife then if it makes you happy she hated every minute of it and was dragged into it by me. Although I will add if you had lived it you would have seen it went from me been the confident one to her been the confident one

But what if you have thoughts to return in the future? What then?

I like your play on words and did notice you avoiding saying "I WILL NEVER COMMIT ADULTERY AGAIN."

Since you don't even seem to understand there is anything wrong with adultery or anything wrong with pimping out your wife, what is there to stop you from doing this in the future?

Can you think of better ways to increase one's confidence than degrading yourself with adultery after being pimped out by your husband? Was there another way?

Does your son know you did this to his mother?

***EDIT***