UPDATE 9/4/12
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ub...2657694&page=1My Wayward Wife (WW) sent me an email last week asking that I move back home, that she missed me & still loved me. She also said that it didnt mean that we were getting back together.
But basically, she needed help paying the mortgage for the house.
I then decide to make an appt with a counselor & I invite her to join me. After I get there, she shows up too.
We talk with the counselor about what has happened.
She admits that she had "innappropriate texts" with a guy she knows from facebook.
I know from reading those texts, that is was way more than that. It included phone calls, video calls, etc...They masturbated together via video, etc.
Ok. So the counselor says that we can work on things.... That we need to exclude any opposite sex connections. She agress.
Our counselor appt was on Thursday evening. We talk via messenger chat that night for a few hours. We talk about what she needs for me to change, and about us moving away & starting over in a bigger city.
Friday night, we went out to dinner & came back home. She cries for about 30 minutes or so....I held her during....she says "sorry" to me.
Saturday, she sees a commercial for a mattress store & we go check it out on Sunday. We go shopping for groceries & other household items.
Sunday & Monday - We go to the bed store & she falls in love with a $6000 mattress. She wants a new one b/c of her back pain.
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Well my WW has been on 3 or 4 dating sites since I found out about her "innappropriate texts". She signed up at the dating sites 2 weeks after I left our house.
These dating sites send emails out whenever one gets a message or interest from someone else.
So far, from my snooping since the counselors appt, she has read the emails that deal with the dating sites. The rest of her emails from JCPenny, Phone Bill, etc go unread.
I would guess that she has supposedly gone to the dating website to look at the profiles of who sent them to her.
Also since the counselor appt, she has not sent any email messages or yahoo messenger chats to any of these guys she met on the dating site either.
So it appears that she is trying to abide by the counselors wishes.
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This morning, I snoop on her & see that she has forwarded an email to herself at a gmail account. I think this is odd.
She is forwarding an email from the "inappropriate texts" guy that she received this morning from him.
He sent this to her this morning.
"I hope all is well with you. Sucks to be forgotten about already but it's completely understandable. I needed a few days to wrap my head around everything. I hope everything does change how you need it to. I'm still hurt but I will get over it eventually. Just stayed drunk all weekend. It just hurt alot when I was waiting for the train and you didn't call, then I remembered everything. You will always have a piece of my heart. Have a great day. James"
From what I gather, she has been calling him every morning before she goes off to work at 6:45am or so.
Her response is this:
James, I am sooo sorry for the way this has all happened. I cried...no, I bawled my eyes out all Friday night...for hurting you...missing you. I was very close to calling you this morning, but didn't think you'd want to hear from me, plus I didn't want to be a mess coming into work today. I think about you all the time. I wish I could see you making goofy faces for me again. :-). I hate that you stayed drunk all weekend...I'm sorry. I'm resentful that I can't keep you as a friend. You will always be a friend to me. I miss you. I'd like to check in every now and then by gmail...I want to know how you're doing. I do love you...you're a wonderful person. I could go on and on, but I need to get back to work...
Hope to hear from you,
Susan
He responses back:
"You can message when ever. What hurt the most this weekend was yesterday when I logged on Skype to talk to my sister and saw your pic and that you deleted your status. That stung alot. I know it was needed to be done. Well break is over work is hectic. You have a great day. James"
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So I guess the crying wasn't for me after all.
I made a dating site persona so I could contact my WW & see what the real truth was about me,us & what went on.
While using my dating site persona & asked her about her affair. She said that it was over & that the guy was annoying. He wasn't her type, etc.
I can't figure her out. She cheats on me with a guy that she got reacquainted with from facebook.
She then signs up (pays for a membership to one) to 3 dating sites. She talks to several guy on there....sending them pics of her in lingerie, close ups of her v_gina, etc.
She also engages in cyber sex talk with a few of the guys.
I wondering what is the real truth.
I am going to reveal to the counselor the email exchange above & see what he says. I really think she needs some sort of psychological treatment.
I have no clue what this woman is right now. My family is wanting me to divorce her right now. I am going to try to endure for another month or so.
I've texted a few times today & have talked to her on the phone while she is at work. Small talk, figuring out what type of pizza she wants for tonight.
This weekend we are planning to going to Atlanta to look for places to live, figure out the neighborhoods, etc.