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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188 |
My H birthday was yesterday. About a week ago I asked him to come over on his b-day. I am not sure if he thought it was to watch our son or if he thought I had something planned. <P>Well, I had something planned. Things did not go as planned because of some outside influences (I'll spare the details). However, I had baked his favorite cake and had a couple of nice gifts "from our 18 month old son." My H said it was really nice, but he was acting strange and wouldn't look at me. It was because he was crying. I asked why he said this was sad. This is on the heels of him wanting to go back to counseling. <P>So is this another ray od hope?<P><P>------------------<BR>d is for dog<BR>h is for hope<BR>j is for joy, pure joy!<P>
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,087
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,087 |
Many things can be a good sign specially if we want to see it that way and if they give us strenght to continue towards our goal.<BR>He did came. - tha's a good sign<BR>He was sad - it could be a good sign as well. could he be sad for realizing what he's missing without you and your son? Sad because he realises he made a mistake? Sad for puting you trough such pain?<P>Keep your goal in mind, and looking for positive signs. That's what help us to keep going. Until one day - hopefully - all the good signs will come together and things work out.<P>Take care, and don't lose hope.<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 794
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 794 |
DHJ,<P>I would say, Yes, it is a very good sign. <P>My H's birthday was a couple of weeks ago. We were supposed to be in Plan B. He just showed up that day so I could tell he wanted to spend his birthday with me. I had already given him his gifts and a card a couple of days before.<P>I think the fact that they still want to spend the significant holidays with us, means they are still very connected.<P>With the holidays just around the corner, it looks like we will have some opportunity to create some cherished memories!!<P>I'm planning on celebrating them as usual. How about you?
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 161
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 161 |
dhj, I'd call it a ray of hope. I saw those types of glimmers with my h. as he slowly went through withdrawal and gradually was able to let himself see what was at stake. <P>As many here will tell you, it is a "dance" of sorts. We have to give them gifts of kindness and then back up a bit to let them breathe and decide how to respond.<P>Be patient. It sounds like something is going on inside of him. My h. can only express his feelings about once a week, and the rest of the time, he is a corporate robot...but I knew that when I married him. Try to really "listen" to his body language when you see him, without being clingy. I know it's a weird dance, but sometimes, it turns out really well ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) .<BR>LIZ<P>------------------<BR>When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2<P><BR>
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188 |
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