Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
| Tax-deductible Donation | Site Tour | Meet Dr. Harley | Basic Concepts | Q&A Columns | Articles | Guidance Forum

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Forums Calendar Active Threads
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Re: Now what?
unwritten #2656417 08/15/12 09:22 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 35
O
onefallday
Offline
Member
onefallday
Member
O Offline
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by unwritten
I do have to say I am concerned that you came on here just a few short weeks ago stating that after 5 yrs of trudging along in a quasi recovered state, you were ready for divorce, and now you are saying that after just one long talk and a little O&H everything is peaceful. I don't buy it.

So I was doing some reading and realized that I was so in the state of Withdrawal! Actually, I was going back and forth between Conflict & Withdrawal. I wanted my EN and SF met, but my H couldn't approach me. That was a huge issue. I kept attributing his "indifference" toward him not loving me or whatever, which made me to withdraw even more. He tried telling me this many times, but I wasn't ready to let my guard down. Once I let my guard down and allowed him to love me things have changed for the best. And this is not a temporarily honeymoon-like euphoria (been there done that, shortly after DD day)... our current situation is more like the normal marriage life. I'm so much more at peace. And our time together is so much more fulfilling.

Last edited by onefallday; 08/15/12 09:25 AM.
Re: Now what?
SunnyDinTX #2660803 09/01/12 09:31 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 35
O
onefallday
Offline
Member
onefallday
Member
O Offline
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
I'm thinking out loud here, but wouldn't it be great to have your husband's support here - while you're waiting for the appt? You don't have to mention that the A may be the cause at this point. Can you not just say, "I had some concerning test results at my last appt that are making me worry. I could use your shoulder right now, until I know more.."

I don't know about your H but mine wouldn't make the connection that his infidelity might be the cause; he'd just think female stuff is female stuff.

And... it would be a good way to approach the subject in a calm matter if you do need to have a more serious conversation later.

You shouldn't have to go through this alone while you're waiting for further results.

So I told him about the concerning test results without mentioning the affair. And btw, the follow-up tests were negative - will re-check in 6 months. I didn't mention the affair because at this point I don't see a point. On the one hand, yes, there's the aspect of radical honestly, but on the other, what about "not mentioning the affair anymore"? Nothing could be changed at this point, so why rehash the affair?

I am in a good place now and don't want to loose my peace, so to speak.

Last edited by onefallday; 09/01/12 09:32 AM.
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 349 guests, and 105 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
IO Games, IronMaverick, Gregory Robinson, Limkao, Emily01
72,037 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,038
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Forum Rules · Mark All Read Contact Us · Forum Help · Marriage Builders
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Feedback | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Site Map | Account
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0