thank you!!

thats what we were going to do, but then there's christmas which would be effected..... so off we go to turkey day with a time limit. we have begged off almost all events but the holidays at this point. I dont even care about the holidays so much anymore.

i agree about letting them fade off, its their loss. But i do feel bad for H because he feels guilty about it, and in the beginning of our relationship i was the one who made him do fam things, so going back on what i had preached stinks.

any ideas why they would be like that? i dont get it. i would be supportive of the BS that stood by the WS.

Ask them.

Seriously.

You and the family will either move forward from there or nothing will change so why not ask?

you know i just dont want to i guess because i dont like their behavior anyway so why rekindle it, i guess.i dont think they will ever change and really why do i have to do all the work. let H stand stronger. its annoying.

i just dont get it?

We tried over the years talking with MIL or FIL about her criticism and gossip but nothing ever changed. She was defensive and "poor me," while he defended her. My parents were quite different. My mother was most always supportive and encouraging, and my father strictly forbade anything that appeared to be gossip.

I would not spend much time or concern on wondering why his family is the way they are. Knowing why won't change the way you feel about them. Maybe you will be more understanding but you won't like being around them any better. Maybe, in time, they will come to be nice people who accept and welcome you, but many people find that their friends are better family than their own families are.

That you are now backing off from supporting your H's relationship with his family is okay. As circumstances change, so do the way we interact with people. Now it's you and your H. Define your own holiday. Make it enjoyable and meaningful for you as a married couple.

Yesterday was 2 years since dday #1.

Just an update� things are going well; we are always together and really enjoy each other company.

Its being almost 2 years since the first dday � really didn�t know where I would be without MB and all of your advice to me and to others going thru the same pain.

I would love to have my story written out eloquently but I am not a writer.

As for the two years it has been hard work and it took time for the dust to settle.

So many lessons learned.

I am a new person. H is a new person.

I know people probably questioned why I didn�t bail after all H had done, I don�t know I am just not the type who would feel good about myself for not trying my hardest.

But in the end, I am with a completely new H and enjoying my new/real marriage for the first time.

ha actually today is the day!

Hi chicka!!!! I wondered where you were . So glad to hear things are going well!

thank you SusieQ!!!

low profile on the board but still reading, please call on me when you feel i could add something.

It's good to hear that you're doing well!

I cant tell you how happy I am for you. I remember your first post. We seemed to give each other hope when things were dark. Stick with it.