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My wife has been involved in a EA for about 1 1/2months. She met this guy in west Virginia while she was on orders (she's reserve) she came home and told me she doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce. I responded with anger and we had an argument since then we had three or so arguments concerning this. Right now I moved out and we are headed for a separation. I currently stay with a co worker and she stays with the kids in the house we shared. I am desperately seeking some advice on fixing my marriage she is steadfast on wanting a divorce and constantly says she needs her space. She says she isn't talking to him anymore I exposed the affair to everyone we know. He also has a fianc� or roommate as he tells my wife and I sent her a message on Facebook still havent received a reply. I know the is a player he has four kids with 2 different women. I have a son and a stepson with my wife. I know she strayed because of mu video gaming and lack of attention and affection I shown her. I stopped playin the video games dropped 50lbs. My change in behavior was because I was stressed and depressed about my job. She has a history of depression and now that I think she stop taking her meds. She is back on them now and I noticed a change, am right for trusting he word on not speaking to this guy anymore? She claims she doesnt want to work on the marriage. What should my next step be?
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What should my next step be?
Move the hell home!
Then write asking for further suggestions.
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Joined: Sep 2012
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(1) Move home.
(2) Obtain a copy of "Surviving an Affair" by Dr Hurley. Read it cover to cover.
BH (me), age 30. Plan D final 1/1/13
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Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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am right for trusting her word on not speaking to this guy anymore? Nope, you're not. Don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. She claims she doesn't want to work on the marriage. See previous answer. What should my next step be? Move home.....now. We can't all be wrong.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Step #1 is to MOVE HOME. TODAY. Just go home unannounced. SEcond step is to drive to the OM's house and tell his girlfriend in person. If you want to save your marriage you will need to run off the OM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am sorry you are here ... however this is the best place to get the support you need to fight for your marriage.
YOur wife has most likely gone PA if your not in the house, ESPECIALLY if she told you it was an EA .. usually you get trickle truthed .. GO HOME! ... Cant fix your marriage if your not with her.
SHe doesnt need space ... if your financially involved in the home still or paying for her to be there ... you go home .. walk in like you own the place ... be cool .. calm .. and collective. WHen she asks you why your home .. you simply tell her its your place ... and if SHE is so bent on this affair SHE can go. Then ask her if she wants a cookie .. DO NOT engage is any hysterical behaviour ... do NOT have an outburst .. be calm .. and assertive.
MNG
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If your wife wants some "space" [code word meaning she wants you out so she can bring the OM into your home] clean out a corner of your garage and make a little "space" for her. If she doesn't like that, then SHE can leave.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Don't be surprised if you see a car you don't recognise in the driveway. DO NOT HAVE AN ANGRY OUTBURST. Politely request any intruders to leave.
BH (me), age 30. Plan D final 1/1/13
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The OM Lives in Florida while my wife and I stay in Illinois. I'm thinking of setting up a spy bug on her computer to make sure also is there any way to monitor an android phone?
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Sorry for double post are there any good spy bugs for laptops?
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The OM Lives in Florida while my wife and I stay in Illinois. I'm thinking of setting up a spy bug on her computer to make sure also is there any way to monitor an android phone? Did you read our posts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The OM Lives in Florida while my wife and I stay in Illinois. I'm thinking of setting up a spy bug on her computer to make sure also is there any way to monitor an android phone? Do they have planes, cars or trains in Florida? I flew to Illinois a couple of months ago and was there in TWO HOURS.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She can also carry on her affair via the phone and computer. Much easier to do if you manipulate your husband into leaving HIS OWN HOME so you can have some"space."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If I agreed to separate from her will it hurt if I reverse my decision? Also are those spyware undectable? How do I get it on an android phone? Should I ask her if she is still talking to him?
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If I agreed to separate from her will it hurt if I reverse my decision? It will hurt if you DON'T, Sir! The only thing worse than making a bad promise is keeping a bad promise. If she wants to "separate" to get "space' to carry on her affair, then she can leave.............WITHOUT YOUR CHILDREN. Also are those spyware undectable? How do I get it on an android phone? You can get eblaster on an android phone here: spectorsoft.com Should I ask her if she is still talking to him? I would not ask, but do some super snooping and then DEMAND that she end all contact with the OM. You can report the OM to the military and they will put a no contact order on that RAT. In the meantime, I would expose this affair wide and far. Go read the link in my signature on exposure tips.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If you want to make it, then you need to get in there and fight for your marriage. No one ever won a war by surrendering to the enemy.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If I agreed to separate from her will it hurt if I reverse my decision? Also are those spyware undectable? How do I get it on an android phone? Should I ask her if she is still talking to him? Tell her you changed you mind about separation, and that if she wants to separate and carry on her adultery, then she can move out. Yes, the spyware is undetectable. You'll have to figure out a way to separate her from that phone, or if you can't do that, render it inoperable "accidentally on purpose". Toilets are good for more than just pooping! Then you go and buy her a new one and install the software before giving it to her. Why ask her a question that you already know the answer to and that she's going to lie about anyway?
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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If you can get her phone for about 5 minutes, you can install eblaster. You download the software right on the phone and it is easy to install.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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