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You can report the OM to the military and they will put a no contact order on that RAT. In the meantime, I would expose this affair wide and far. Go read the link in my signature on exposure tips.
Dark, is the OM military too? You never mentioned that if so.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
Ok I'm going to the lawyer tomorrow and I'll let her know then I'm moving back in your right it's gonna suck but I have to put my foot down.
I would not let her know at all. Forewarned is forearmed. I would just go home. And if she goes crazy and starts ranting and raving [which she will] just offer her a potato chip and pat her on the head. Move right back into your own room.
If she calls the police on you, tell them this is your home and your wife is having an affair and wants you to leave. Tell them you won't leave. They might try to get you to leave to "keep the peace.' Assure them you are commited to peace but won't be leaving your home without a court order.
And whatever you do, don't let your lawyer talk you out of it. Lawyers are little more than divorce facilitators and don't care about saving your marriage. You need to tell him what you will be doing and inform him that it will be his job to make sure you are protected. He works for you, after all!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Is this piece of sh** OM in the military? If he is, you have him dead to rights. You can kill the affair quick if he is in the military.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Ok I'm going to the lawyer tomorrow and I'll let her know then I'm moving back in your right it's gonna suck but I have to put my foot down.
Here is how you let her know: Show up with bag in hand and say "Hi honey, I'm home!!"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Ok I'm going to the lawyer tomorrow and I'll let her know then I'm moving back in your right it's gonna suck but I have to put my foot down.
I would not let her know at all. Forewarned is forearmed. I would just go home. And if she goes crazy and starts ranting and raving [which she will] just offer her a potato chip and pat her on the head. Move right back into your own room.
If she calls the police on you, tell them this is your home and your wife is having an affair and wants you to leave. Tell them you won't leave. They might try to get you to leave to "keep the peace.' Assure them you are commited to peace but won't be leaving your home without a court order.
And whatever you do, don't let your lawyer talk you out of it. Lawyers are little more than divorce facilitators and don't care about saving your marriage. You need to tell him what you will be doing and inform him that it will be his job to make sure you are protected. He works for you, after all!
Also, you might want to pick up a VAR (voice activated recorder) before you go back if you think she might go off and call the cops. Been too many sitches around here where the WW made up stories to cops to rid their BHs from the property. You can get one at Radio Shack, Best Buy, etc., and they're are cheap but worth their weight in gold.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
Your marriage is under assault by the OM and your wife. If you don't start fighting for your marriage, they will destroy your life. Running because your wife wants "space" will not save your marriage; it is to surrender to the enemy. This is the approach of those who have saved their marriages:
You need to RAISE HELL with the OM and run that POS off.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Yes he's military and there isn't much I can do cause they havent slept together. They both reserve and she claims she wants a divorce and not work on the marriage I tried to contact the OM significant other via Facebook. She was arrested for domestic battery against me. She got out and claimed the drama was too much and told him to leave her alone. She claims even though she isn't with him she won't be with me. I exposed the affair which I believe is the catalyst for that. I stayed 2 nights from home and have the lawyer appointment tomorrow it's just a consultation. So I will go and afterwards, I will be home in my room like you all advised. If she is done talking with him, should I try to contact the OM fianc� till I get a response?
Yes he's military and there isn't much I can do cause they havent slept together. They both reserve and she claims she wants a divorce and not work on the marriage I tried to contact the OM significant other via Facebook. She was arrested for domestic battery against me. She got out and claimed the drama was too much and told him to leave her alone. She claims even though she isn't with him she won't be with me. I exposed the affair which I believe is the catalyst for that. I stayed 2 nights from home and have the lawyer appointment tomorrow it's just a consultation. So I will go and afterwards, I will be home in my room like you all advised. If she is done talking with him, should I try to contact the OM fianc� till I get a response?
I would still contact the OM's chain of command and tell them everything. Ask them to issue a no contact order. In the meantime, expose the affair to the OM's GF and all of his family and friends. Does that RAT have a facebook page? If so, go NOW and copy and paste all his contacts into a WORD doc so you can expose to them all.
Please go read the thread in my signature. One of our members, a JAG, wrote instructions on how to do a military exposure.
What did your wife do to get tossed in jail?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Yes she does, the OM deleted his page. I tried contacting her before via Facebook and haven't received a response. Also, I couldn't find the exposure for a military no contact order. Please give me step by step instructions to this is my first time using a forum.
You do know there is about a 90% chance they did sleep together.
You just need to gather your evidence and expose to his commander, I'm not sure if the guard uses inspector generals or not, but if they do you can file a complaint.
We were in the car and I told her to put him on the phone, I know now that was a mistake. Then I threatened to tell his fianc� via Facebook and she didnt so I sent the message then she got mad the said she is going to jump from the car it was going 85 mph on the highway I was driving I pulled over. She repeatedly stated she is going to kill herself via walkin into traffic. I held her and so did my. One year old when I wouldnt let her she hit and scratched me the police came and arrested her for domestic battery.
If I agreed to separate from her will it hurt if I reverse my decision? Also are those spyware undectable? How do I get it on an android phone? Should I ask her if she is still talking to him?
Why would you agree to separate?? OH HELL NO YOU DON'T! Let her know that you will NOT let your marriage end over some skanky-assed affair! GO HOME!
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
We were in the car and I told her to put him on the phone, I know now that was a mistake. Then I threatened to tell his fianc� via Facebook and she didnt so I sent the message then she got mad the said she is going to jump from the car it was going 85 mph on the highway I was driving I pulled over. She repeatedly stated she is going to kill herself via walkin into traffic. I held her and so did my. One year old when I wouldnt let her she hit and scratched me the police came and arrested her for domestic battery.
She is in the throes of complete addiction right now. She is not herself. Understand that, Dark. This isn't the woman you married. Stay with us - we'll help you.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
Yes she does, the OM deleted his page. I tried contacting her before via Facebook and haven't received a response. Also, I couldn't find the exposure for a military no contact order. Please give me step by step instructions to this is my first time using a forum.
Go and copy and paste the OM's GF contacts into a WORD doc for safekeeping. Find her mother, aunt, sisters, dad on that list. Send them a message telling htem about OMs affair with your wife and ask them to have her contact you directly.
Go read my exposure thread and read Mortarman and GJMs posts about military exposure.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Yes she does, the OM deleted his page. I tried contacting her before via Facebook and haven't received a response. Also, I couldn't find the exposure for a military no contact order. Please give me step by step instructions to this is my first time using a forum.
Go and copy and paste the OM's GF contacts into a WORD doc for safekeeping. Find her mother, aunt, sisters, dad on that list. Send them a message telling htem about OMs affair with your wife and ask them to have her contact you directly.
Go read my exposure thread and read Mortarman and GJMs posts about military exposure.
I'll even make a little easy for you.
Originally Posted by Mortarman
Melody, here goes on the exposure part with military members.
If one or both of the infidels are members of the military, you have a GREAT asset! Why? Because it is against the law to commit adultery. And their command can and will order them to cease and desist...and me even punish them!
How do you do this? Well, each service is a little different. So, you will need to figure out which service they are a part of and then search out the corresponding agency that handles it. In the Army (and the Air Force), they have an Inspector General. The Navy/Marines should also.
The reason I say go to the IG, rather than the commander of the person's unit, is that many times, the commander might like the servicemember (SM) so they might just sweep it under the rug. That you do NOT want to happen! So, with the IG, they will go to the commander, tell him that they have this complaint...and the commander will conduct an investigation. The IG will oversee this, making sure that the commander does the right thing...and if a violation is found, that the appropriate actions/punishment happen. It will NOT be swept under the rug!
At the same time, even if ABSOLUTE proof is not found, at the very least, that commander is going order the SM to not contact your spouse...because the IG is hanging over their head. He/she will just tell them that even if nothing is going on, they are ordered not to make any more contact to make SURE nothing will go on!
So, as I said, the IG is the place to go.
When you call the IG, make sure you have at least the SM's name, his/her rank and unit, if you can get it. If you need help, ask someone you know that knows military rank and unit patches, and have them look at Facebook pictures or describe to them what their uniform looks like. Tell the IG everything you know. There are privacy protections...so you can give them info in confidence (one note: any information that directly implicates someone in an illegal act is not covered by privacy protections. Please understand that an IG is a Federal investigator!).
The IG will be adept at receiving these kinds of complaints, so will have additional questions for you. Answer them completely. If you dont know the answer, tell them you dont know. Or if you can get the answer, ask them if you should and get back to them.
Again, I cannot emphasize this enough...an IG is a Federal investigator. Which means, if you lie to them...there is jailtime and a huge fine. So dont do it! Tell them nothing but facts!!
At the end of the interview, the IG will advise you that they will pursue this...but they will not be able, sue to privacy rights, to let you know what the results of the investigation are. But you wont need them!!
Why? Because when that SM immediately stops contacting your spouse or contacts your spose and tells them they have been ordered not to see them anymore...then things will go nuclear. But that is the beauty of exposure. But unlike exposure in the civilian world, after exposure with a military member involved...well, no contact will be implemented immediately.
How do we know? Because if the SM is ordered not to see your spouse, and they do...then they have disobeyed a direct order. Then you call the IG, tell them contact continues. And there is almost nothing worse in the military than disobeying a direct order!! There WILL be criminal charges then!
So, do you research. Find out what unit they are in...or at least what post/base they are from. Then contact the unit of base/post IG. Do this at the same time that you do your exposure elsewhere (family, friends, etc).
Note: I wish that in the civilian world, there should be laws just like the military has.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
Thirty five(?) posts and almost four hours ago I gave you your first step. By now you should have been plumping up your pillows and having a cup of HOME-made cocoa!
Thirty five(?) posts and almost four hours ago I gave you your first step. By now you should have been plumping up your pillows and having a cup of HOME-made cocoa!
Yep! DS, when we say now, we mean right now! Don't succumb to that fear that I know you are feeling. Time for you to start taking back some control of your life.
BTW, if you by any chance misinterpreted Mel's suggestion about going back to your room (as in you slept in a separate bedroom), that's not what she meant. She means getting back in YOUR marital bed. If she has a problem with that, then she can find somewhere else to sleep. If she doesn't want to be in the same house with you, then she can leave...without your child.
I hear Motel6 will leave the light on for her.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
