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Isn't that an LB sarcasm?
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or "I'm fighting for my marriage, now would you like some tea?"
You want to be calm. You are the one with integrity and you are the one doing the right thing. No apologies, no backing down.
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I'm thinking of telling my 9 yr old son any thoughts?
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Isn't that an LB sarcasm? Just tell her you are sorry she is so upset. Don't allow her to upset you or bait you into a fight. And YES you most certainly should tell your son ASAP. Without her there.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Tell your boy all the facts about the affair, the OMs name, and explain WHY adultery is immoral. Encourage him to speak to his mother and ask questions about why she wants to wreck his family over some loser.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Saw the lawyer today for the separation. Don't worry I'm. It going through with ii was just a consultation. I'm tellin her tonite I'm not doing it gonna be stoic in call when i tell her
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She is going through the grieving over the OM. Should I hold her or something? Or ignore it. She is crying I offered her tissue
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She is going through the grieving over the OM. Should I hold her or something? Or ignore it. She is crying I offered her tissue Hand her a tissue but don't go overboard here. That is the kind of thing that will cause you resentment in the future.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And please tell your son the truth TONIGHT. He needs be told the truth about the source of tension in his home. And your wife needs that wake up call.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Done and done. She claims I'm ruining her reputation. I told her she did with her sneaky actions with the OM in her fog filled EA. she started crying claiming she doesn't talk to him and I ok let's do a no contact letter and let me see her phone log online in sprint and her emails. She declined and stated she doesn't talk to him what's the point? I said if what your saying is true then it wouldn't hurt she cried for 15 min and then left in the car. I know she is talking him and doing damage control with family and friends. I think this is working when I come back it's carrot time!
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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She has been gone awhile should I ignore it and stand firm or call her to see if she is ok?
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She claims I'm ruining her reputation. Um, no. She ruined her reputation quite nicely by herself.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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She has been gone awhile should I ignore it and stand firm or call her to see if she is ok? She is probably with OM. This is likely be an uncomfortable time for them, since they know they are under scrutiny. And that's great! You want them to be uncomfortable. That screws with their fuzzy fantasy, and that's what you want. I wouldn't call her. Let them wonder what you're doing next.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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That's what so awesome he's lives in Florida and I live here. She is in the angry stage of grieving trying to start arguments and blaming me for her situation. I'll weather the storm and start the carrot on Sunday when I come back. She says he won't talk to her guess the drama drove the wolf away lol.
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Move the hell home!
Thirty five(?) posts and almost four hours ago I gave you your first step. By now you should have been plumping up your pillows and having a cup of HOME-made cocoa! Yep! DS, when we say now, we mean right now! Don't succumb to that fear that I know you are feeling. Time for you to start taking back some control of your life. BTW, if you by any chance misinterpreted Mel's suggestion about going back to your room (as in you slept in a separate bedroom), that's not what she meant. She means getting back in YOUR marital bed. If she has a problem with that, then she can find somewhere else to sleep. If she doesn't want to be in the same house with you, then she can leave...without your child. I hear Motel6 will leave the light on for her.Man, when I haven't had ANYTHING to laugh about the last month, that was DAMN funny!
Last edited by 2little_2late; 09/12/12 09:56 PM.
BH (me) - 40 WW-31
Married 4, together 12
DD 3
DDay (EA) - 8/17/12
Confronted/admitted - EA turned PA - 9/11/12
Exposed- 9/12/12
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She claims I'm ruining her reputation. Once the fog clears, she'll figure out she can get her reputation back when people who know she had an affair see she is in a strong, loving marriage. Doesn't get much better for your reputation than that.
BH (me), age 30. Plan D final 1/1/13
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At this point you also need to keep an audio recorder hidden on you at all times, even while you sleep.
This protects you from any false accusations.
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She is crying I offered her tissue Good! I offered my WW a whole box of tissues... Even put my arm around her a few times. The deep pain and loss after an affair ends is a great time to meet the WS's ENs. It doesn't work, though, until the affair is actually over--which it doesn't sound like it is for you. You'll know when it is, because your WW will sleep for 15 hours a day, not eat, not shower, and basically do nothing except cry.
BH (me), age 30. Plan D final 1/1/13
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And you actually aren't making LB deposits during the affair withdrawal period
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