We have been apart for almost 2 years. Our son is three. I just want to move forward, but i feel like i am stuck. I have been on a few dates, but i feel so guilty after. I am still in love with her. We did not have a bad marriage. She said that many times. There was no infidelity, no drugs, no alcohol, just didnt meet each others emotional needs.
She has said i am now beyond the man she has prayed for. She says she is miserable living with her parents. She is sad and depressed all the time.
I cant do anything about that. She has to make herself happy and love herself before she can love someone else.
i am in the same boat. I hate it for our son.

Please can someone help me, i have my good days and bad days, honestly a few that were suicidal.

Would Dr. Harley have any advice for me? I see a psychologist, i am on meds, tired of taking them to be honest.

I dont like feeling this way, when does it stop.....

The feeling doesn't go away. It does diminish if you work very very hard at it. I read a lot of motivational books as no one around me could understand or help me. I realised it was down to me on my own. The books really brought me a long way. Each night I would read as many affirmations that I needed to get me through the nıght. And I would gain strength. It does work wonders. Sites like this help as well although I personally never had the strength to write much as I joined quite late.

I am dating again life does move on and you just accept what the WP is doing however damaging it is as you learn that they will not take into account how you feel.(They have just had there fİrst baby a few days ago. I've been divorced for three years still recovering they just moved on)

Just accept the fact you have to pick up the pieces and hope İf you want that Karma might bite back. But thats not for sure either. For me if it does it's a bonus.

NOTE
Although it's under the heading note.It is an imortant one.Patience. You really need to learn have it if like me you had none.it's a good quality I have gained and you can become a calmer person. Well there's one good outcome I can come up wıth.Plus a positive attitute to life. You really need these.They will be you [color:#3333FF]armour...[/color]

I wish you the best my dear friend..If I could do you can.İ never thought I could get through it....There is always a way.Just find what works for you.

Seeing the word suicide made me write this much honestly sorry.

Hi Ruikee, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. How is your psychologist helping you? What advice is he or she giving you to help you cope?

When I was in counseling for divorce recovery, my therapist told me the number one thing I could do for myself was aerobic exercise. That apparently can have much more of a positive effect than any kind of drugs or psychological counseling or anything else. The hard part is to make yourself do it; when I was in recovery, I was so depressed, I didn't feel like doing anything, and it took a lot of mental effort to force myself to exercise.

Another thing I learned is to read divorce recovery books. I'm sure there are tons out there, but one I found very helpful is Crazy Time by Abigail Trafford.

Ruikee - It'll be ok. This is one of those things that we all on this board have gone through and many are still slugging through it. I agree with KL, exercising whether you feel like it or not is a wonderful thing and I swear, it's the only way I got through some days. I would go to the gym, beat the snot out of myself, come home only to be triggered by something and back to the gym I'd go.

My divorce was final just before yours and while I don't know your full story, I empathize with you very much. I've had those dark thoughts. My mantra for a while was "it's always darkest before it goes pitch black." I don't have any amazing words of wisdom for you other than it does get better. You are important and whether or not you ever have a relationship with your ex wife again, you are important, loved and matter. You and your son have many things to look forward to in this life and if you just concentrate on being the very best you can be for that boy, it will get better. One day you'll realize that it just is better. I promise.

Travis