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Go Dave 
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Keep up the plan A Dave. ITs like throwing rocks into the river so you can cross it... eventually if you keep throwing them in there .. they will break the surface and you can cross!
MNG Yeah read\heard that before and made a lot of sense
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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Go Dave thanks indie, i aint giving up and she knows i wont, have said time and again if it takes going to councilling every week for the next 6 - 12 months i am there and doing it
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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ok going to send WW some flowers today (nice bouquet) as its her birthday tomorrow, any recomendations of what i should have written on the card with them
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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You mean beyond "Happy Birthday" ?
Dude, don't overthink this. The flowers, and more so the thought to send them, are the gift. You actually have a greater opportunity, with effusive words of devotion and endearment, to create more harm than benefit.
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Thats a very good point. Flowers cant be argued with, whereas your words can.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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i just but on them "to the best mum and wife happy birtdhay, love dave n xxx (son)" just simple
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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well she just came home, with flowers in arms and said "thank for my flowers", hope they had the effect and sentiment they were sent with and all the poepl at her work will have asked about them etc as well
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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Great work, Dave! Stay strong in "Plan A". Remember: plan A for up to 3 - 6 months. The withdrawal period after exposure of an affair usually lasts about a month with a WW.
Last edited by Qoheleth; 09/14/12 11:00 AM.
BH (me), age 30. Plan D final 1/1/13
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Great work, Dave! Stay strong in "Plan A". Remember: plan A for up to 3 - 6 months. The withdrawal period after exposure of an affair usually lasts about a month with a WW. Actually Q, Dr. Harley will recommend Plan A for husbands 6 months to 2 years. He talks about it on the radio show a lot. Women only 3 weeks of Plan A.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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well she just came home, with flowers in arms and said "thank for my flowers", hope they had the effect and sentiment they were sent with and all the poepl at her work will have asked about them etc as well Smooth move, she was admired by you in front of her peers with zero pressure!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Okay, so far you've earned a B+ !
Would you like to earn an A+ ?
Send her flowers next week, for no reason, with a note saying "Just because......"
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Okay, so far you've earned a B+ !
Would you like to earn an A+ ?
Send her flowers next week, for no reason, with a note saying "Just because......" Either next week or week after I think as this weeks might not have died? Would you say they just say that and nothing else at all??
Last edited by dotnetdave; 09/14/12 11:56 AM.
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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Would you say they just say that and nothing else at all??
I always say, "Brevity is the soul of wit." (I don't adhere to that, and would prefer to write two pages of monograph, but I always say it!)
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Would you say they just say that and nothing else at all??
I always say, "Brevity is the soul of wit." (I don't adhere to that, and would prefer to write two pages of monograph, but I always say it!) Lol yes I know what your saying I am the same as well, guess sometimes "less is more" and more is said by what's not written than is written
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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Another lil update father in law is here for the weekend for wife's birthday tomorrow had a chat with him and he doesn't want us to split and will keep talking and encouraging her to work things out as I know she does listen to him The other thing they were planning on going out for dinner and she actually asked me if I was going to go with them feels like a small acceptance also flowers in display on table and she has kept the card with them as well
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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Great job on the flowers! Good job on not making the your note too mushy.. There is a bible verse I believe its Ecclisiastes 6:11 ( I know your not into the religion thing .. i am not either but this is fitting i think)
Ecclesiastes 6:11 - The more words the words, the less the meaning, and how does the profit anyone.
By keeping it simple .. it will mean more to her than Many words at this point.
Good Job man .. I think your making headway here.
MNG
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Well home now guess today's en fufulling has been successful, birthday day tomorrow so be interesting to see the reaction to presents from me and son as well as the card I have got her (for uk people its a"me to you, tatty teddy" one) I have picked one that I would have got regardless of circumstance so it's a bit soppy/romantic which the type I have always got, going to get a bday cake tomorrow with son, did consider champagne (she does reall like it) but then though it was too much and pressure etc
BH
Married 13yrs, togther 18yrs
1 son, 11yrs
DD: 27th July, Current status plan A
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I'd go for the champers. Does she like the pink kind? You don't have to spend a fortune on it.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Joined: Mar 2010
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Do they sell "splits" of bubbly in Ol' Blighty?
Finishing a whole bottle between the two of you might lead to some inhibitions being loosed that would better have remained bound. (Sometime I'll relate the full story of my post d-day bender resulting in my climbing a tree in a lightning storm!)
Anyway, with the time difference, it's already Saturday over there, so wish her a Happy Birthday from me!
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