I'm interested to hear what others think.

I've been seeing a man for a couple of years. When it's just the two of us, we get on well. However, there's a force at work in the background and that force is his daughter.

She controls. She runs his life. She tells him what to do. Early on when he and I were first going out, she told him he wasn't allowed to get involved with me. He defied her on that one, to a point. She organises his holidays, dictates when he will go where, she is in control.

I'm at the point of leaving him for good because of the power his daughter exerts over his life. Also, I feel as though he confides in her more than he does in me. There's always the two of them with me as the outsider, or at least, that's how it feels to me. (His daughter has a family or her own).

I'll be grateful for any advice others can give.

Hi Rainy, I've heard radio clips where Dr. Harley talks about the dynamic between a person who dates and has an opposite sex child. There can be conflict between the child and the dating partner, as it sounds there is between you and your boyfriend's daughter.

I had a recent similar experience dating a woman with an older son. He and I did not get along very well. This is just my opinion, but I think in my case, my exGF's son felt that he was going to lose his mom to me, and so he subconsciously did things to disrupt our relationship.

It's a tough situation to be in. I think Dr. Harley's advice is to be as nice as you can to the daughter, and let your boyfriend handle any issues with her. Does he agree with you that his daughter controls him?

Rainy, I encourage you to hit repost this in the after divorce/dating section, there are a lot of folks who can help you decide what you want to do in a non-commited relationship. They say over there that if a man hasn't married you after two years, he most likely won't. What's your goal for your life? I'm not saying it has to be a marriage that lasts a lifetime, but I do think you have what it takes to have that in your life.

I remember posting to you before, and I loved your update. I liked what you said about us each owning our own behavior.

I finally found an earlier thread of yours. http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=162268&Number=2453898#Post2453898

This relationship has been problematic from the start. Why are you still with him - and still posting the same question?

Rainy, why are you still with this man? You should have cut and run long ago.

Don't you think you're worth more than being some weak-willed mans companion?

Its appalling that he has raised his daughter this way. They are both destined for an extremely dismal future thanks to his extremely poor leadership and fatherhood skills.

They will be forever in each other's clutches and want you to be the third stool leg propping up this circle of misery.

What happened between him and mother, how did that end?

If you are happy to accept crumbs, continue.

If you want a man who puts you first, leave.

But there is no magic pill to make him into a better human being.