Hello everyone, I havent been on this site in over 2 years! Trying to catch up with some old posters. So much has happened in the last 2 yrs in my life, yet it seems like nothing has changed. I am no longer the caregiver for H parents. His mother and father deteriorated so badly it was impossible to keep caring for them in their home 24/7. We placed them in a Memory Care facility 5 months ago. Its still overwhelming at times as they are not adjusting well and we have to deal with certain problems that come up several times a week.

For those who remember me , the house that I moved back into with H has now been rented out and we no longer live there. All the time we lived there nothing was finished by H. Now we have bought another home and did the closing 6 months ago. Same old , same old. Nothing is finished here either. We have had a busy 5 months, cleaning up his parents house, getting everything ready for an auction sale etc. Now I think its time to work on our house so we dont live like gypsys out of boxes for the next 2 years.
I really dont know why I come back to post, most of my problems are my own doing. I should have never moved back in with H back in 2009, maybe the hopes that he would change.

So I am accepting that the problems in my marriage are things that I have let happen, and have accepted H attitudes for so long that I am a door mat and co-dependant etc. My H must be the exception to everyone else, as at times I have really tried to follow thru with advise here and never seem to get anywhere or make the changes last more than a day.

luly, thanks for the update hon. It's empowering to own your part because that means you can change it if you want to. Since you're still there, and still hoping for change, I want to tell you that there are some long-timers here who have recovered their marriages and can help you with one last push if you want to do that.

I know it's sad when loved ones' health continues to deteriorate but you know you have made their time in the meanwhile so much more enjoyable, a lot of good memories together.

I posted an update in the Divorced section, my thread title there is Letting Go.

TY, I will go check out yr post. And yes, I would like things to change between H and myself, but at this stage, i dont hold out much hope for a change . Same things going on for over 4 yrs now

luly, I'm not familiar with your past postings. Is your husband on board with Marriage Builders?

Dr. Harley says it is very difficult for a wife to be able to win her husband over to the program. If he has been resistant, it is not because he is an exception. That is normal.

This might help also.
When to Call It Quits - Part 1
In addition to this excellent article here are some excellent radio clips on this.

Please listen to these radio clips on what are the reasons for divorce.

Radio clip at 5:45 When to call it quits
Segment #2