Problem is I'm scared, as I start to put the pieces together she's been using words like psychological abuse and violence sine the EA has been going on. I've never struck her or used psychological abuse.

I'm fearful that she's given this guy, and his friends who also work there, a sob story and their telling her to get away from me. I'm fearful she's taking surveilance and using it as an excuse to build an abuse case.

At this point I'm backing off because I'm scared of what might be happening behind the scenes... I'm looking over my shoulder and wondering if I'm going to be hit with a summons or something like that...

Well, yeah, she had to have told them that to justify the affair and make her look like the good guy or victim. See, saying "My husband is great and I have no complaints" lends people to ask "Then why are fooling around on him." Waywards really hate hearing that so it's best to stick with you being a monster so that she gets the "Oh, poor thing, we understand" instead.

Make sense?

Do your children know about her adultery? Haven't they asked why she is quitting? This is their mother, right?


What are you talking about? A summons for what? Jury Duty?

She's gotten pretty good, it seems, at getting you to back down by tossing out those "abuse" keywords. Your children are adults, so there'd be no custody issues to fight with. A divorce would just be a property settlement, so what, exactly, are you afraid of losing by standing up and refusing to put up with infidelity?

Your standards for staying married to her seem pretty low. Why?

If your spouse is threatening to make false accusations of domestic violence, I would go into immediate Plan B, with Plan D shortly thereafter.

Consider physical restraining orders so that she can't physically try to be around you.

If it's any comfort, the police are so accustomed to fake accusations of domestic violence (which they all have to take seriously) that you are probably not in much actual danger of serious repercussions.

This sounds like fodder for the stupid things that come out a wayward's piehole thread! My WH says I'm emotionally abusing him by asking that he actually be honest with me and stop screwing around on me! Just sayin...