HDW,

yes "Then she kissed me" is deffinitly a great song. Then entire Love Gun album is incredible.

I deffinity have some things that we will do this weekend. As we have about a 6 to 7 hour drive to Niagra Falls Sunday morning. We will be getting their around 4ish. We will be going to dinner that night then we can have a few drinks find something fun to do.

Monday we are going to go on the "Maid of the Mist" witch I've been to Niagra Falls twice and never went on. Then we will go play miniture golf and walk around the area. That night we will be going out to dinner and then we will go to the casino their. Hopefully the wife doesn't lose to much as she can get out of control with the "I can win it back mentality". (Dangerous lol) Besides when she is winning she has this very sexy look of confidence to her. Then we will spend the day Tuesday and come home in the afternoon. The evening time I have some alone time ideas also.

I am an assistant store manager for on of the largest retail companies. I work 11 hours a day 5 days a week. I would the last couple of years live work. As I would turn my eleven hour day into 16 to 17 hour days. My 55 hour week would be 65 to 70 hours. I have been pretty good at just working my scheduled hours and try to run quickly. It's hard when you have set an expectation of being the one to get everything done and willing to do anything for so long thats its hard to get them to realize that my family comes first. I was close to getting promoted to store manager now that has taken a step back. I need to put all that effort into my marriage that I have lost focus of the last couple of years.

THANKS
KISS

HoldHerHand,

Plans have changed a little as we aren't leaving for Niagra Falls till Sunday now. But we are going to spend the day friday together as we are going to go to our old house and go through some of our stuff and move it into storage and kind of start getting organized for our move sometime down the road. then we will have the kids in the evening. Then saturday we will do something as a family. We are having trouble with someone to watch the kids.

Rocketqueen said a short time ago that now instead of leaving Sunday at 9AM she wants to leave around 2ish. Because my step daughter is running a 5k race. That means we probably won't leave until at least 3ish so we will be getting their around 10pm. That kills that day!!! Then we would only have Monday and early Tuesday before we drive home. It's a 6-7 hour drive for us. Makes me wonder if its really worth going all the way thier for what will be really one day. I don't want to say to much to RocketQueen as I understand that she wants to see my step daughter run in this race as do I but this is supposed to be "our weekend".

How should I approach this?

THANKS
KISS

Sir you are a workaholic.
I know.
I was too.

Do you have a long commute also?

You may want to Consider counseling for the workaholic behavior.

POJA

HDW,

No it takes me about 25 minutes to get to work. No I have never been to counseling I pretty much just work my schedule now. I don't stay any extra unless we have a big walk or ad to set. Even then I don't stay to often.

THANKS
KISS

HDW,

I just don't want to think that my step daughter isn't important to me. She is very important. It's just that we don't get a chance to due this to often.

KISS

If your DSD is watching your children, I guess you'd need to wait until she is done the race, eh? Was this race not already planned? Did RQ have any say in the plans that you made for this weekend?

Your work schedule never impeded your ability to have an affair. You found time for that, because it was important to you.

It just so happens that I live in NF, Canada. It's lovely here, and there are a lot of things to do.

When the two of you sit down (Dr H recommends Sundays) you fill in the UA time FIRST. Then you put in family time. Maybe use a big calender or diary in which upcoming events (like the 5k race) would be marked into. If you are sitting down and deciding it together at the same time every week then you should avoid these sorts of snags.

I would let RQ take the lead on what to do this weekend, but apologise for not organising things well enough. Promise her in future that you will do better and promise her a set time on a Sunday that you will both sit down and organise UA time.

The Sunday 'lets organise UA time' meeting should be sacred. I know RQ probably feels a bit like a leftover priority but if she is making decisions with you every week, it'll help her have faith that things will change and she is an active participant.

For example, if you go to Niagara, would you organise the following week that Sunday? You could maybe take the diary and arrange things over lunch.

Kiss,

A 6-7 hour drive alone is GREAT UA time, even if it's just for "one day". One of the best UA dates we ever had together was an 8 hour car drive alone.

Scotland & Indiegirl,

My boss offered that I take this 5 day weekend a couple of months ago as we were short handed at work so my schedule sucked more then normal. She is also the one that mentioned going to Niagra Falls or something like that.

Rocketqueen and I have been talking about doing this for 5 or 6 weeks. We both thought that it would be a great place to go because their is so much to do. Plus RocketQueen loves going to gamble.

I knew my stepdaughter had this race coming up as I knew the location but not the date. Rocketqueen didn't realize it was this weekend until the last day or two.

Rocketqueen said she would see if her parents can watch the kids and go watch our stepdaughter run on Sunday. She said that she doesn't have the need to be their as long as someone is their for her. So we will see.

THANKS
KISS

Alis,

I know its time together and we can talk but I hate driving severly. We are working on moving to Florida now and my parents have offered to come to New York just to drive our moving truck so I don't have to because they know just how much I hate driving.

I know that Rocketqueen gets a little crazy when in the passengers seat as she says I make here car sick. So hopefully its not that bad.

THANKS,
KISS

That sounds a little better.

You and Rocket really need to call on the support of family so that you two can really concentrate on rebuilding the Romantic Love in your marriage.

Take the lead on this; have a day off and do a dinner. Let your family members know that you two are trying to rebuild the Romantic Love in your marriage, and let them know that this means you need their help so that you can meet those UA goals.


And I am nuts-on-the-campfire serious here.

Let the family know you are committed to doing what it takes to have a better marriage, and to maintaining that better marriage. Let them know that their support is appreciated.

Hi kiss,

Start looking for a different job. My old job nearly killed my marriage. My current client understands that they are free to fire me anytime if they want me to work past 4:30 PM or work more than 40 hours in a week.

It will take months to rebuild any romantic love in RQ for you. During that time, you won't really see any signs of excitement at all from her. The biggest sign you can hang on to right now is that she's chosen not to leave.

How does this move affect your job?


Is it a transfer into another marriage-killing schedule? Or will you actually get to live like a husband and father, and not just a paycheck?

kiss, tell us about the large sum of money you spent on "pins", after your wife and you agreed a household budget. Tell us why you spent that money independently, breaking POJA and committing the love buster of independent behaviour, and how you intend to rectify this situation and undo the IB (which means getting a refund on the purchase).

The pins I bought are Hard Rock Cafe pins of KISS that I have collected for the past 6 or 7 years. I have 15 glass display cases full and more in a box that I don't have cases for. I have an addiction to this hobby. It's value is around $10,000. When I visit Ebay probably 10 times a day to see if any are listed that I don't have. I just bought 16 pins for $150. I need 4 pins out of the 16. The other pins I will list on Ebay and I will get all my money back. The four I need usually sell for $100 to $160.

I am not a computer person I don't do face book or anything like that. I go on this web site, Ebay, ACEFREHLEY.COM, KISSONLINE.COM, hardrock.com and you tube to watch old KISS clips and videos thats about it. This is definitely an addiction for me I have collected things my entire life and been this way. I have baseball cards and all kinds of KISS memorabilia. Once I see something that is rare and don't have I have to have it. I have sold and cut down on a lot of my collection that I gathered through out the last 25-30 years. I have sold a lot and used the money to buy my pins.

I know that I should have talked to the wife before I bought them. I was on my break at work and seen how cheap they went for and knew I would get my money back and just reacted as their was only a couple minutes left. I did tell Rocketqueen as soon as I got home.

We were talking about it the other night and she started laughing at me as I just fumbled around talking about how it happened.

KISS

I gave my wife an apology letter for her parents about a week ago. Her Dad wants us to meet tonight to talk. I'm not really sure what to expect or whats going to happen. Antone have advice on how to approach it?

THANKS,
KISS

Take full responsibility for your affair and the aftermath it has caused his whole family. Do not downplay it.

He will respect you more as a man.

The transfer will be with the same company hopefully. As the money I make will allow Rocketqueen to not have to work. This way it will give us a lot more time together. So when I work and close my store we will be home all morning together and kids will be at school. So that will give us a lot more UA time. Also here my schedule is eleven hour days at a minimum in Florida they work 8-9 hour days and the job stress is a huge difference. If it doesn't work for our marriage I will look for another job once we get down their.

KISS

With repentance in your heart? You hurt his baby, and therefore hurt him as well. I'm sure that you can have some empathy as a father.

It might not be easy, Kiss. But it is necessary.

The job situation sounds better. Hopefully they aren't pulling a bait and switch on you with the details.