Thanks, Mel and Neak!

My mom has not moved in, just an extended stay (8 weeks), which is great for her and the kids.

Estrela, I couldn't be more pleased to read this update. You sound so strong, and like you're on the right road.

So happy for your peace, friend.

hooray for estrela! i'm so glad you updated, and it is very pleasing to see your personal recovery! you go, girl!

Estrela, thanks for posting and keeping us updated.

Your crying spells are you releasing your hurt, grief and sadness. It helps us betrayed heal. I think the grieving is very important. It is a step the wayward tries to skip in their fog and addiction.

Yet no one can escape grief; I really believe it just rears its head in other ways.

Your healing and peace help encourage others in Plan B.

Me included. Thanks.

Scotty, BH, Letty, Caracal,

Thanks for the words and support and attention!!!

My friends!

I too count you as friend.

Scotty - I am honored!

Hi All,

I contacted a lawyer and started to work on D papers. Still need to gather info, but getting closer to file. So many mixed feelings about it.

And I got a call from WH's friend yesterday. This is someone I met a couple of times over the years. When I realized who it was I thought: if he starts saying that I need to think about the kids, I am going to freak out.

And that's what he did. He said he spoke with WH, that he is sorry about his mistake, and if there is any chance of changing my mind and taking him back.

Maybe I shouldn't have talked to him, but I did. I mentioned the first A, and WH's continuing A now. Then came the line of "I need to think, what about the kids growing up without a father at home".

What does he think I've been doing all these months if not thinking...

Well, I politely asked him not to call me again, he said he would try to talk to WH to do something significant about M.

Otherwise, busy with work and kids. Experienced some temptation when a friend invited a friend (OS) to go out, without telling me. We had some things in common, so I had to police myself not to look into his eyes. Need to plan B my friend, at least until D is final... which haven't even started...

Life is good otherwise

Just not sorry enough to end his affair!! If you end up divorced it will be 100% your husband's fault because he wouldnt end his affair. He knows what he has to do in order come back.

You sure do sound strong, estrela! Thanks for checking in.

Thanks, Mel!

WH still has 4 or 5 of my MB books. If he would have taken the time and trouble (?) to actually read them, and follow what it is recommended... like ending the A for starters!

His "friend" needs to tell him to quit having affairs. The right thing for the kids is to learn that when you choose to have affairs and won't quit, you end up divorced.

Stellar, as always!

Yes good job e!!

Thanks for the update Estrela!!!

I had a similar conversation with one of WH's friends deciding to admonish me... the loyal and betrayed wife. I know he used to be wayward. The guilty defending the guilty to justify their own actions so it is entirely self-serving.

Well done on keeping to Plan B and thinking of your and your kids best interests.

Estrela, sorry, I have been away on vaca for a couple of weeks so i missed your update. You are a pillar of strength, keep going forward friend, you're amazing.

Hey Scotty - nice to hear from you!

How was Disney? Are you going to post an update on your vaca? We are all curious about it.

9 months of DDay. Sent papers to the lawyer for him to prepare claim. Soooo weird.

Hey E, how are things???

X2... been thinking of how you are getting on?

Hello BH and Caracal,
Hello All,

Thanks for checking on me. I've been here when I can, trying to keep updated with good (and not so good) news from everyone, and keep learning MB way.

Happy to know that Caracal and Indie are moving so well into the world!

Things are well with me. Still moving forward with D, which got stalled because of a health insurance situation with my stepdaughter.

I went back and forth in my mind before deciding, but in the end thought it was ok and not such a big deal to hold D until stepdaughter has her operation in June (operation which my insurance approved but her mom's did not).

Her mom did not ask me to wait, but I thought it was the right thing. I communicated to WH that I would wait but we will move forward with separation agreement and religious divorce and he agreed.

On another note, I broke Plan B during Hurricane Sandy and its aftermath. The thing is I was away for work when it hit our area, and WH was with kids. I called and we were in touch during the storm and after. I was so worried. Thank God they were ok, just lost power for a week and then again during the snowstorm (but for this one I was here).

When I came back, we kept e-mail communication, and once WH called and asked if I wanted to have dinner. I said no, and that was it.

Things are getting more clear for me. I understand my feelings for WH, and his feelings for me, but see that he has not and is not willing to change anything (he even returned all my MB books, without reading of course) so D and moving forward after that will really be my best choice.

I also noticed how communicating with WH affects me (although not nearly as much as before) and how Plan B protects my state of mind from random emotions.

This week I will go back communicating through IM, who's been spotty since she is working so much now and sometimes I do use the kids to communicate changes on pick up or drop off times.

Kids are fine, happy and healthy, and this is the most important. I am well also, working, exercising. I gained a bit of weight but on healthy food (and chocolate)