Don't know where to turn. My wife has it in her head that I'm unfaithful and she's so angry all the time. She picks at every thing and calls everything a lie. We've been in a fight for years now ever since she accused me of having feelings for another woman. I did business with this woman and was just trying to make a sale. She says looking back on our marriage that I've always had too close friendships with other women. We are just friends.

Everytime I talk to another woman (especially about our marriage) I get into trouble. When I talk to another woman about the marriage all I have ever done is try to find information to help the marriage and she calls all the women I talk to affairs or improper, or so something. She expects me to give up all my friends for her. I love talking to women. I just have a more natural affinity to them. I have done nothing wrong. I'm sick of this. I have given up alot of good friends. It's never enough. If she finds out about me talking to someone about our marriage, even if it's just 5 minutes she gets crazy.

There have been some misunderstandings but they were not lies.I was getting help from another woman and my wife found out and went ballistic. This was a good friend of hers. Oh, but not anymore! She accused us of having an emotional affair.

How can I get her to lighten up and go forward and stop harping on me? Anyone been through this???

Your wife is correct in her thinking that your discussions about marriage and other intimate topics of conversation are inappropriate. Friendships with the opposite sex are dangerous to your marriage. This is why your wife has a problem with your friendships with women.

Marriage Builders starts with the "Policy of Joint Agreement:" do nothing without the enthusiastic agreement of your spouse. This includes the choice of friends.

The Policy of Radical Honesty goes hand in hand with the POJA.

If you do not follow these two foundational principles, doing what you please regardless of your wife's feelings, your wife's love for you will be undermined. Also, affairs usually begin with a friendship with the opposite sex. While it may not have happened yet, it's a very real concern and risk.

Take a look at the following link and let us know what you think.

Summary of Basic Concepts

Listen to the MB radio every day by clicking "Listen Now" on the Home page, and you will learn a great deal about building a great marriage.

Last night my wife read off a list of about 10 woman friends. She has a catalog of all the things she says are violations of the marriage.

I don't think i have to tell her everything that I do and say.

awhile ago I told her I'd stop talkling about the marriage to other women and she is like a parana if she finds out I slipped.
So I slipped again? So what? It was a friend of hers. She thinks we both withheld the converation from her. We didn't do anything wrong, we didn't tell her but, again, I can't tell her everything. Finally the friend let it slip that we'd had the talk and she acts like it's a conspiracy.

I've had some women come on to me in the past. That's my fault too. I visited one of these women at her house, alone, and my wife now thinks I was interested sexually in her. Just because she was coming on the me. Everything I do is interpreted in the worse light.

The way you get her to lighten is to stop what you are doing. STOP IT.

Real easy. Stop flirting with women, stop having inappropriate relationships with women, STOP having opposite sex friendships. Your wife is harping because your lovebank is OPEN to everyone else and you are driving her crazy.

So its real easy. If you want her to stop harping then start acting like a married man.

You have inappropriate boundaries around women and if you don't shape up your wife is going to fall out of love with you. Ignoring her complaints is going to destroy your marriage.

Wow....if you truly wanted sympathy for your point of view on the internet you couldn't have found a place more diametrically opposed to it if you tried.

In a nutshell...your wife is 100% right (I'm sure she's not perfect but based upon what you posted above)

Some questions:

1. Why did you get married to this woman?
2. Are you marriage material? Why?
3. Why do you feel you NEED the admiration and attention of other women?
4. Would you never speak to another woman again if it meant your wife would be completely in love with you?
5. Are you interested in fixing your marriage or just winning an argument?

Mr. W

Yeah...now I'm on your side. Why she doesn't trust you is beyond me. She's a monster.

Do you believe you're own bullcrap or are you just toying with us. I'm a stranger on an internet forum and even I don't believe you...why should your wife? Because you said so?

W

I can't imagine why that woman thought you were easy pickin's when all you did was come to her house! How could that be your fault!??

Are you for real?

I'll let you help this one Melody...I've got to go visit some lady friends alone at their houses. It'll be fine as long as they don't hit on me.

Mr. W

Look, my wife is mad all the time. It doen't take anything to set her off. Sometimes I have to hide thigs because, as i said, she interprets everything as an affair. My women friends are single and so I'm not hurting anyone. I like women, so what.

She checks my cell phone, just because she found me talking to another woman. She asked us to stop and we did for awhile, but she was helping me. It was during a really hard time in the marriage and I needed some help.

If I clown around with another woman, like a funny email, or anything she acts like I'm trying to get a affair going.

This has been going on for several years now, ever since ssome friends told her I thought this other woman was really attactive. I was just doing business. This is the one who I was making a sale with. That set everything off. She interprets the terms of the sale to be too much in the favor of the other woman. I did do some dumb things after the sale, but I just wasn't thinking. It's my wife who's greedy for trying to get every dime out of this other gal.

I thought you people helped others.

I think some improvement is needed in the bullcrap department because I know 9 year olds who could be more convincing.

Hey MSAccused, does your wife burst out laughing when you come up this bullcrap? Seriously, it is very primitive and most 5 year olds could do better.

Maybe a lesson in the art of bullsh**?

You hide things...because? Can she kick your butt? Are you afraid of her?

Being a coward is not a legitimate excuse to hide things. Instead of hiding things why not stop doing things you have to hide? At least don't be a coward when you do things you know she doesn't like.


It hurts your WIFE. Remember her?

Is it your goal to hurt your wife?

Then STOP IT.

Just one question, how would you feel if your wife was doing everything you are doing with guys.

Yes we do...but YOU are the "others" not your wife. She's on to your games and seemingly quite aware that you are a danger to her. You put your relationship with other women ahead of her. So again...I ask...Why did you even get married? Married men don't have a bunch of single female friends nor do they "visit" women alone in private places without their spouse. You think and say you've done nothing wrong which is SHOCKING to happily married people and, I bet, just magnifies your wife's pain.

Do YOU want help with YOUR problems?

Mr. W

Patient: Doctor, my arm hurts when I move it like this!!

Doctor: STOP MOVING IT LIKE THAT!

When you get married, your lovebank should be permanently closed to other women. It should only be open to YOUR WIFE.

Yours is open to every skank that walks down the road. THAT is why your wife complains. She should NEVER be put in a position to compete with other women. NEVER. And you do this to her all the time.

Stop acting like a weasel and show her some respect, care and love for a change.

I'm trying to establish that I'm innocent. I admit to having women friends.

I'm trying to tell my story and be honest about what I've done so I can get help.

I think this is a set up..she told to me to post here. That these people had good heads on their shoulders. Everying isn't what you say it is.

I just thought of something.

My wife did have a friendship years ago and it hurt me deeply. So she's not so innocent. She dosen't have men friends becasue of that.

Yeah, well, that's how it starts MS. Just have a look at my thread. All the same S* you are defending is what my WW did and now look where we are at. It started with "just friends" texting. That turned into 1000's (Literally) of texts per month. Then drinking with him/them talking about how our marriage is in trouble.

Time to open your eyes, fix yourself and save your Marriage, or throw in the towel and save everyone the trouble. They say "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" well, clearly you sir are broken, and if you don't fix it, she will. Whether it's once you finally find yourself in a full blown affair or she gets tired of your crap. Good luck to you.