Your won't let your wife have men friends but you can have women friends.

What are you smoking?
How long have you been writing fiction?

I think this is a real young kid, which is why I asked how old of a boy he is. Still waiting on the answer.

I'm mid 50's. Married many years. I'm not a kid or a boy.

I don't know what to make of the comments. You all sound like her.

You ARE seeing and speaking to other women alone.
That is NOT okay.

We agree with your wife.

You don't sound like a grown man; you sound like a selfish teenage boy. Your wife is probably a grown up and that is why you think we sound like her. You don't like the opinions of other grownups.

I would ask that you send her here and show her my post about separation. If you persist on continuing to make her suffer by placing your "friendships" above her, she needs to separate.

Are you seeking advice/help/assistance on having a great marriage?

Or are you seeking help and affirmation of getting "her inline"?

I am not going to show her these posts. You all have savaged me.

It is still my opionion that the problem is her not understanding. I have always had many female friends. It's only in the last few years that she is completlely unreasonable about it. I think it's completely unreasonable to have no opposit sex friends.

I've said I'm sorry and she keeps on being mad. She can't let it go and she's living in the past.

That's not my fault.

And yes, I'd like some undersatnding that it's possible to have friends and be innocent of affairs.

I am also seeking help in having her to understand that i have done nothing wrong.

Once I lied about a friend, she caught me in the lie. Now everything is a lie. i can't stand it. It offends me to be called a liar and to be accused of afffairs. Is that so hard to understand

It is your fault that you torment your wife with thoughtless behavior and cause her to suffer.

So in other words, you don't care if your wife suffers. That is the very definition of not caring.

This is why she should separate from you. You are a dangerous, uncaring spouse who punishes your wife when she objects to your cruel behavior.

Dr Harley does not recommend that women stay with abusive men.

My STXWS did not see it an "issue" having OS friendships, or even having OS friends getting "marital advice" from either. Oh yes, this OS friendship turned into a full blown affair.

You are walking on thin ice by insisting there is nothing wrong with an OS friendship. You are putting your friendships ahead of your wife.

What is most important to you? Your OS friends or your wife?

You are not innocent and you have done something wrong. You have friends of the opposite sex and practice poor boundaries around women. You do this even though you know she suffers.

So no, you are not innocent. You are man who does not care for his wife. You place your "friendships" above her happiness.

Ummmmmmm, say what? Are you actually reading what you post?!

We will help by validating that she is RIGHT and she should separate if you don't stop it. It is very wrong to harm your spouse as you are doing.

Your sorry is meaningless when you keep doing the same thing. Unfortunately, your reckless behavior is not in the past, it is in the present.

It is not abuse to not be guilty and say so.

All these women are not as attractive as my wife, who is very good looking.

She used to be okay with these friendships now she claims to be neglected, hurt, traumatzed. whatever.

I feel like she is trying to control me.

Yes, she is trying to stop you from hurting her and you have refused. The recommendation by Dr Harley would be for her to separate until you learn to stop your abusive, thoughtless behavior.

Your wife has told you that your opposite sex friendships make her unhappy and you have REFUSED to end them. That shows her that you care more about your friendships than you do her.

What kind of a husband does that? What kind of a man wants his wife to suffer at his expense? An uncaring husband, that is who.

I'm punding my head!

The woman who I lied about was a mutual friend. She helped me and I went to her to see if she knew why my wife was so mad.(my wife talked to her also)I was only trying to get info about the the why's. She was also a nurse, I thought my wife might be sick or something.I was trying to help. Wife finds out, asks us to stop "being a comfort to each other" and so we stop. But, things in the marriage got worse and so we kept in contact. Wife finds out goes balistic. I agree not to talk to her anymore, she means nothing to me. We have one more phone conversation, wife finds out, asks me about it, I say I didn't talk to her. (again, she means nothing to me and I didn't want to upset wife)She check cell phone finds out about the lie and things get bad. Friend comes over to talk to wife, wife throws her out. Now wife insists that there was more there than there was. I admit nothing.

Pounding, that is.