When I think 'amicable divorce' it doesn't include this sort of statement. "Amicable divorce", to me, means everyone's friendly, no one has ill will or wishes harm to the ex-spouse, each ex-spouse thinks kindly of the other (in a "we just shouldn't have married, but we're good friends" sort of way). That doesn't seem to be the case here. You don't appear to have had an 'amicable' divorce - maybe just a divorce with terms you didn't fight? (Yet.)

You sound very angry and hurt to me. Like divorce wasn't your ultimate "great idea, let's do it!" plan.

Steel,

I don't post in the SAA forum usually but do read in here, and your post really caught mt attention. Please take a breather and rethink this decision!

My parents decided to divorce later in life, No affair, but my mother initiated the divorce, my dad was furious, wounded pride, (embarrassed I suspect)and moved swiftly towards divorce. He thought the divorce would be simple, cut and dry. It wasn't. They had to divide all money in half of course, he was ordered to pay MANY years of alimony, and they had to sell the home at a HUGE loss due to the market.

My dad was eager to start his "new life" and start interviewing for a new GF. He found her, and she seemed great, everything he was looking for, all the things my mom was not. Once he told me about her I saw HUGE red flags that he did NOT see, but he was naive, he wasted several years on this skank, got his heart broken, but was "wiser" for it.

Then he found a new perfect match, and remarried. Well, that didn't work out either, so divorce number 2. Now he is disillusioned and alone, as is my mother.

The reason I am telling you this is because this IS NOT A RARE STORY! The grass is almost never greener! Obviously your WW is making a HUGE mistake, but I am worried you are too. You have built a life together and a family. Please take a few days to rethink your position!

Sorry Steel, I didn't read all the way through your thread, and didn't realize the divorce was already a done deal. Good luck to you I hope this will end better for you then it has for my parents.

Please work on yourself BEFORE jumping into another serious relationship or marriage. You are not responsible for your XWW affair, but I hope you can learn from MB how to have a great affair proof future.

On one of the MB Radio shows a Betrayed husband called in. He was trying to bust his wife's affair and was perplexed that the affair partners spouse told him she didn't want the affair busted during their ongoing divorce.
Dr Harley explained to the caller that the OM wife was taking advantage of her fogged out husband for favorable divorce terms.

Actually, Marriage Builders WILL guide you through the loss of your marriage. We do that daily.

Especially in circumstances like this!

Look back at some of the posts on my thread where people are telling me that there is no such thing as an amicable divorce. That she is going to feel entitled and get greedy. That she is going to take me for everything if I don't get my own attorney. Some of them were very condescending. This is what I am referencing when I say amicable. It was their way of using amicable. Myself, I would call it me not getting taken to the cleaners.
I am still angry and hurt, (nothing like I was) I was happily married until she threw it all away for a short term affair with some jerk she hadn't seen for 32 years. It has caused so much pain for everyone and for what? She can't even answer that! Believe me, divorce was not my "ultimate great idea, lets do it plan!" It was forced down my throat, even when she asked to reconcile, I knew she wasn't over him and I was right.

You damned right! It was the one thing that I had a chance to influence in this whole nightmare that my life had became!