My exhusband knows for sure, when he confronted me, I came forward, and our marriage ended shortly after. His exwife also knows, but not because he ever admitted it to her, but because she always suspected. Honestly I dont know how she knows but she does.

No, I don't. Lots of people have made this mistake. But I want you to know the following:


The issues that are created are so strong that it is extremely unlikely that you will be able to make this relationship work. And if you do make it work, it is very likely to happen at the expense of your children's happiness.

Dr. Harley has counseled thousands of marriages. He has never been able to successfully help a relationship that began as an affair overcome its issues. On the rare occasions when he has met someone in a marriage that began as an affair who has had a successful marriage, they still view the affair as the biggest mistake of their life and experience great unhappiness about what it did to their life, particularly their relationship with their children.

The odds are against this relationship making it long term. Don't make it worse by getting back together with this guy.

Plan B on this site is for you. It will help you learn how to stop bouncing back in a perpetual yo-yo relationship.

I understand. I would certainly let her know if I were you. That is the fair and decent thing to do.

This information adds a whole new perspective and I will tell you why. Relationships that start this way are doomed. Dr Harley calls them affairages when they end up married. But a very small percentage, less than 5%, ever make it to marriage. Of those that do, 70% are divorced in under 5 years. The reason is because the things that made the affair possible, selfishness, deceit, dishonesty, eventually destroy the relationship.

My suggestion would be to dump this cheater and make amends to his wife. There is no future with this man. His XW might not want to talk to you, but I would send her a letter or email telling her what you did and making apologies. That would a good start in reclaiming your own integrity.

If your children have been told lies about the source of the breakup of their family, I would tell them the truth so they don't blame your husband. That is not fair to him. And they need to know that the OM is a RAT who helped destroy their family for his own selfish purposes. He is their enemy and they don't realize it.

Markos, Thank you for your insight and sound advice.

Secondchance67,

You must think what kind of an idiot am I.

No not an idiot, just someone who was getting their needs met by someone other than their spouse, and Dr. Harley says we are all wired to do that.

Before MB, I doubted I could get my needs met by my W, and although I did not cheat, I was much more likely to do so than I am now.

Reading between the lines of what you wrote, I can sense that perhaps some of the women he is involved with are tall and elegant, as opposed to your being petite. Physical differences can make for strong feelings of jealousy as I well know myself.

God Bless
Gamma

Well, given that he has a history of cheating, I think you already have your answer as to whether he should be trusted with single (or for that matter married) women, working on the plumbing or what not in their homes...

AGG

Please read.
What you will get if you marry your affair partner
Affairage radio clips
Affairages a must read Dr. Harley posts himself