Hi folks! My fiance, Nature Girl, and I are submitting this post together. We were calculating our UA time for the week and came to a bit of a discussion/confusion on the definition of UA.

We went through the books and the website and found a couple of sources including:
.
as well as:

Does each "block" of UA (e.g. 2-3 hours/day) need to be comprised of all four IEN's to be considered UA? Or is the goals to meet all four IEN's during the course of the 15-20 hours each week?

We appreciate any thoughts. We're just trying to get it right, and we also want to make sure we have the same undestanding of the principles.

thanks!
opt and NG

Hi NG!!

And of course opt.

I'll check the archives.

Have you heard this one? Radio clip on dating

I think that having all four met at the levels that satisfy each partner regularly should be the goal. If each feels that SF 3x a week is great, then there's no need to go for it for fifteen minutes of each block, kwim? Same with RC and conversation...if spending three hours each week playing satisfies, or talking for an hour a day satisfies, then it's good UA.

What's bad is spending 15 hours a week on conversation. Or SF. Or RC. Or affection without the others. There should be an agreeable spread.

I thought of you two when I heard this (second half of the segment).
Radio clip about finding the right person

Thanks Brain! we'll listen tonight.

Thanks CMWI also. What you say makes a lot of sense.
It's been a pretty interesting discussion. I love that we can get into a concept with differing understandings and talk about it with no real emotional tension.

We've also been looking closer at our UA time - past and presnt and future.
From our logs, we've found that we don't get our POTENTIAL UA for the week. IE, we often have a potential for, say, 22 hours and actually only wind up with, say, 16. Distractions come up, real obligations, or just life stress that decreases the quality of time we spend together. I have heard Dr. H say to leave the house for UA, and I get that. But we just can't go "out" every time we want UA. Maybe we're unrealistic in our scheduling - we've modified it a little for this week.

Any advice on getting the most out of our scheduled UA?

opt

Just wondering how things are going for you and Nature Girl? I miss your intelligent posts.