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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Way cool, Mr/Mrs XVY!
(Algebraically, doesn't XVY + XVY equal XXXY?)
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FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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That's great, 15! Wish I could get kiss more on board 
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Fifteen and Mr. X, this is excellent news! You go, kids!  Now. Having said that, here comes the caveat: There will be down times. Mr. X, you're going to have them, friend. I'm sorry. It's a natural part of recovery. Been there. Done that. Accept it and ride it out. It's the rollercoaster - you can't dodge it. Stay with us while you go through it. Mr. X, I know you're reading these posts. I wish you would post your thoughts here, because we can help you with those. We'll have to trust fifteen to relay those to us. Both of you: Understand that you need Marriage Builders now more than ever. Do you understand Dr. Harley's direction for recovery from infidelity? It is narrow and well-defined; follow it to the letter. Okay, I'm all done with the caveats. Get on it, you two! 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Make sure you follow the recovery program as outlined in Surviving an Affair
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Make sure you follow the recovery program as outlined in Surviving an Affair Yes, fifteen and Mr. X, tell us what your plan is for recovery.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,470 Likes: 4
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I just wanted to let everyone know that I had a wonderful birtdhay today filled with lots of UA time between Mr. XVY and myself. It really is amazing how much UA time helps your marriage especially when both spouses are willing and excited to partipate.
We have been POJAing a lot lately as well. Although it is a little bit of a running joke with us (not that we are making fun of it) whenever we discuss something and agree we "POJAD" each other.
Me (WS) Husband (BS)
DS - 15
DD -10
My D-day - 11/12/11
Today Me (BS) H (WS)
D-Day #2 01/14/12
I don't want to just survive my affair, I want to recover from it!
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I just wanted to let everyone know that I had a wonderful birtdhay today filled with lots of UA time between Mr. XVY and myself. It really is amazing how much UA time helps your marriage especially when both spouses are willing and excited to partipate.
We have been POJAing a lot lately as well. Although it is a little bit of a running joke with us (not that we are making fun of it) whenever we discuss something and agree we "POJAD" each other. Happy Birthday! Glad to hear you had a good time together!
Me: WW 30
BH 29
Together 4.5 years, Married 3
No kids. One large, furry, white canine.
DDay #1 8/31/10 DDAY #2 1/29/12
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D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Posts: 20,470 Likes: 4
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Congratulations, and Happy Birthday, kiddo!
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Let me just say that Mr. XVY is giving us a shot, for real this time. He said that he would forever regret not giving his all to us one more time.
Seeing Mr. XVY since he decided to, in his own words "move foward" is like night and day. He seems happy, loving, truly passionate. I know that we still have a LONG way to go and the roller coaster is still their but I think it clicked for both of us.
We need to move forward, clean slate, and use MB everyday in our marriage. We have been focusing on "true" UA time and just in the past couple of days have spent A LOT of quality time together.
For the first time we are truly being honest with each other and not being scared to tell each other how we feel. It is so strange but both of us were holding back for so long afraid what the other person would think or afraid that it would disrupt our marriage. Not realizing that actually holding back was destroying our marriage.
I just feel like a giant weight has been lifted off of both of us and we finally are on a road to a true happy marriage.
Thank you everyone and MB!!!! You will forever be my guide no matter what happens.
I am making this sound like a farewell post but it is quite the opposite. I am just so elated right now that I don't know what to say.
Well that is it for now.
Fifteen going on many more!!!! i am so glad that your husband decided to get on board with MB. i am wishing you two the best. our stories are very similar and will be nice to hear another success story. i know we both have a long hard road ahead of us but it will be definately worth it!
me 43 fww
spouse 44 bh
DS 9
DD 7
On the road to recovery with 20yearhistory
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p.s. Happy Belated Birthday!
me 43 fww
spouse 44 bh
DS 9
DD 7
On the road to recovery with 20yearhistory
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Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. It was an amazing birthday! I once again can see the sparkle and love in Mr. XVY's eyes. I believe he has taken down his wall of resentment. This only makes me want to try even harder to make it work and work on MB.
The latest news, I am going to meet with my in laws this Sunday. While I am extremely nervous, it is something that needs to be done. Mr. XVY promised me that it is not going to be a fifteen years bashing.
He is going to tell them that we are trying again and giving our all and they have said they are going to support him and he is basically holding them accountable for these words.
It just makes me nervous because I keep thinking they are going to ask me questions that I don't have the right answers for.
Again, I know that this is necessary for us to heal and for his parents to heal. Wish me luck!!!
Me (WS) Husband (BS)
DS - 15
DD -10
My D-day - 11/12/11
Today Me (BS) H (WS)
D-Day #2 01/14/12
I don't want to just survive my affair, I want to recover from it!
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I keep thinking they are going to ask me questions that I don't have the right answers for.
Wrong mindset, amiga! You have the correct answer for virtually every one of their questions:
"My husband and I are committed to repairing our marriage, and building a better one going forward. Thank you for your anticipated support and love for both of us in making this possible."
That is YOUR correct answer. If it's not THEIR correct answer, Mr XVY should see it clearly and intervene.
Enjoy your Sunday.
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The latest news, I am going to meet with my in laws this Sunday. While I am extremely nervous, it is something that needs to be done. Mr. XVY promised me that it is not going to be a fifteen years bashing.
He is going to tell them that we are trying again and giving our all and they have said they are going to support him and he is basically holding them accountable for these words. This is a great step XVY. Good Luck.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Thanks for the wise words and support. I will let you know how things go later. We are meeting this afternoon.
Me (WS) Husband (BS)
DS - 15
DD -10
My D-day - 11/12/11
Today Me (BS) H (WS)
D-Day #2 01/14/12
I don't want to just survive my affair, I want to recover from it!
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