LOL...that is my wife from day one...lol, confused easily, fly off the handle easily, wants space to herself. But I really don't think she is having an affair. She wouldn't be able to keep up with two men. But I don't put anything past anyone.

I think I have to accept the fact that she is not mentally stable, but I love her still. She is just flat out crazy. I guess if I just forget about her and wait until she snaps out of it she will come back. I really do not see her divorcing me. But I get lonely easily. It will be wrong of me to go out and find someone else. Ugh! Why won't she just come home???

Our pastor just told me he talked to her.....she is not willing to meet once a week and talk. She said now is not a good time, that she is getting her life back together, that I tore her down so bad and she is just now building herself back up.

I feel like dying right now....

I suggest you email Dr Harley for his advice.
Use the link to the mb radio show to submit your question. Make sure you include your phone number

Well. I must say I don't remember ever hearing THAT one!

You need to get snooping. Seriously.

And what the heck was that with her leaving you at the hospital?? What was her excuse? And why would you walk twenty miles??

This is killing me....

Romulus.
Please email Dr Harley.
There is no charge. He is the best expert you will find in this field and his advice is worth $500. You can get it for free by emailing the radio show.
Take advantage of it.

I agree your wife may be mentally not all there
Sometimes spouses of mentally Ill become sick themselves

Have you checked her phone?

Put a keylogger on her computer?

She moved out. I don't have access to her phone or computer.

What is his email address?

Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.

Why not just move back home and snoop? Who cares if she flips out?

If she's mentally ill then you have a duty of care to check on what her state of mind is like. She may be googling things that will give you a clue. Or she is (most likely)cheating on you and the strain is telling on her and making her confused. What she said to the pastor sounds like the exact thing a foggy wayward would say.

Say you are worried about her and are here to stay. End of discussion. Then install snooping tools.

I thought he was home and she was in her own place?

Yes.

Romulus, please tell us why she left you at the hospital. For a wife to leave her husband at the hospital, and for him to walk for TWENTY MILES is beyond outrageous. Please share this with us.

No, SHE has moved out. I am at home. I do not know where she is to snoop. I hired a PI who is trying to figure out where she is living.

Did you see this?

I have no idea why she left me at the hospital. Thank you for seeing how crazy that is. Most people who know us try to down play it and make it seem as though she was just in her feelings and really did not think about it. I think she was going to a party or something that night and did not want to bother with me. I cannot imagine her cheating. She is SO not the cheating type. But maybe I am dead wrong. Maybe she is.

I met with a therapist the other day. He told me to stop chasing her, i.e., stop texting, calling leaving messages, going to her job, etc. So I haven't texted her at all in a day. Today would be two days.

She left cold turkey. Her mail still comes here. All the furnishing are still here. She still has some clothes here. But she is gone; no contact with me, the kids, the dogs. Just gone.

Romulus nobody here knows the picture but I can tell you that I thought my XH would never cheat - that he was too mentally fragile to pull it off. Then I found a single out of place phone call that he made and pulled on the thread. This led to the discovery that he had cheated with a series of women for 18 years and those were the ones he admitted to. Later other women came forward.

The problem is that if there is a pattern of deceit, you cannot detect a behaviour change the way you can if it happens suddenly.

Looking back on it, I think the thing to look for is what was the person like when you first met him or her because this is when he or she is least likely to be hiding anything.

Let's see...when we met she had a boyfriend who she was just stringing along. She never really talked to him that much but he was there. I would come to her place and he would never show up and she finally "officially" ended it with him. She said she never had sex with him when we were together. She is not sexual at all. Even when things were great between us we were not getting it on that often. Up until she moved out she would come home and get sexual with me. Also when I first met her she did not have a relationship with God at all. Now she does and I think that alone would steer her away. Though she always would say that she would end it with me first before cheating. Well....she ended it. So maybe she is now.

I guess I will find out when they find where she is living. Hopefully I will know by the end of this week. But honestly, what good would it do for me to know? I already have grounds to divorce her; desertion and excessive cruelty. If she is cheating this will just be another ground, but I still will not divorce her.