Have you read LoveBusters? Are you committed to controlling your reactions so you stop having angry outbursts?

Your wife was recently willing to give you another chance. That's very fortunate, so you can't squander it by having ANY off putting behaviors.

Yes, you should discourage your ex's new relationship, but I would recognize her right to make those choices now that you are, legally, divorced.

While understanding her choices are hers, I have tried to discourage.

The kids have (despite me trying to get them to stay neutral) have tried to discourage.

Some friends, some family have tried to discourage.

When she said it was better for the kids for us to be together and she did not like shuttling them back and worth, I agree and say I would embrace the chance to be there to help.

When she complains about money and how hard it is, I am empathetic and give more, buy dinner, buy groceries and say it would be easier if I was home.

Discourage seems to translate into a challenge for her.

Extra help seems to be an insult to her.

She is still very angry and it comes out in almost every conversation.

Then maybe do a plan A for 6 months then go into Plan b

Update ~ things are worse

She is now extreemly angry and the BF is closer to moving in.

She will have moments of nice to me and then BOOM anger just drips from her.

He is no doubt fueling the problem.

It is increasingly clear that he is using her for his gain. He is homeless, has not valid DL, no insurance, no retirement, no future, and a pittiful job as a car stero installer. My children despise and fear him and suggest he drinks constantly.

I have no idea why she refuses to see this stuff and I cannot seem to move into plan A because I cannot get over "what the heck are you doing?"

His open warrant is a class C misdmeanor and the jail is full so they are not actively pursuing lower offenses.

Very frustrating. I need advise more than ever...

On Oct 3 you stated you had been divorced for 6 months. And you were working on some things (a list of requirements for her to consider you for reconciliation).
[*I didn't review your whole thread so forgive me if I'm off the mark or repeat other's advice]

It's been 3+ weeks since then. Not a long time. Remember, you can only change yourself. Are you making progress? What have you been doing to set a good example for your kids (in contrast to how the BF is behaving)?

I don't understand why she would be angry, but I don't think you can take on any responsibility for it, you're divorced -- not your problem.

My advice would be to try to remove yourself from the drama and work on recovering, and whatever goals you're trying to accomplish for yourself. You'll look a lot more atractive once you get some things straight for yourself and become the Dad (and EO) you always wanted to be. Then, you never know, she might just decide to give you the second chance you mentioned at the beginning of this thread. Or...you might realize she's no longer up to YOUR standards.

Are you eliminating LB's from your life, EO11?