Tell this mans BW that youve been doing her husband because you didnt have the sense to check him out.

And because you needed his 'help'

And stop exchanging SF and needs for help

If you are looking for someone to tell you there is hope here, it isn't going to happen. An affair is the worst thing you can do to yourself and to the OM's BW.

You keep talking about your feelings -- about OM, about being lonely. If you listen to Dr Harley's radio show one thing he says is that your feelings will lead you astray. You need to use logic to make decisions -- not feelings.

So despite your loneliness, fear, etc, you need to do the right thing (end the A and inform OM BW). We understand it won't be easy - do it anyway...

What country do you live in?

Did you tell the OM's BW yet?

Why? Are you hoping the advice will be different?

Jais, you were with a man, and after six months you haven't visited his home or met his family. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to be suspicious of this.

You're not a stupid woman, although I get the impression that you would like for us to think that you are. Your broken English lends a tone to your posts that makes it sound like you are "new to this country" and don't know how to navigate.

You may be foreign, but you aren't stupid. You had to know that there was a reason OM wasn't taking you to his home.

You need to stop playing the part of a poor, naive woman and get your life together without married men.

Find your OM's wife and let her know that her husband has been toying with you and that she needs to know what a hound dog he is. I promise you that she will be stunned and hurt. And it will be the best thing you ever have done for another human being.

By spending any time alone with a married man, you are undermining his marriage.
You are being cruel to a woman who is his wife. Cruel.

Don't make judgement calls about that woman from your little bubble with him and what he says.

You are
stabbing a woman in the back
creating sorrow for her
stealing her time she could be spending with him
stealing money (he is somehow venting it away from her when he 'helps' another woman out)

Turn and walk away.
Tell the poor woman her man is a player.

Find a new way to connect with people.

Don't make excuses for the miserable situation you feel you are in.

Jais, are you there?

You were asking for more responses less than hour after the previous ones, now you've gotten a lot of great advice demanding that you take some responsibility/accountability, and now you seem to have disappeared?

Is it because you aren't being told what you want to hear?

I don't think Jais got the answer she sought. But I truly hope she will stop screwing around with a married man.

I agree she was here looking for an easy answer. Her attitude has been to abdicate responsibility so far. I hope she shapes up and takes charge of this mess.

Give the man his marching orders and his wife your apologies

hi friends thanks for so many replies...
I got so many answers,many were hurting too,well i went to a religious place for 4 to 5 days out of the town,that's why i was unable to answer...I came back today only..and checked right away...

well i asked him not to meet me again and tried to find his wife,and came to know that they are not in contact since 3 to 4 years....when i told him,everything will be fine soon with his wife,he just need to work a little with her and never think about any other girl.....
I dont know whats true but if everything is ok in between them,i never want to be a single bit of the reason of there problems....

he was saying if there would have been any chances for patch up to happen,it would have already been happened...

well I m moving forward leaving him here.....

I never wanted to hurt any body not even my enemies...


one more thing which comes in my mind alot and stoping me is....when i was in need and was in the same situation,only he helped me....
Now just suppose,if what ever he's saying is correct just suppose,then?,IF CORRECT then leaving him alone on his time of need....feels very selfish....

well after being there with my god for 4-5 days,I got lot many answers...piece of mind and i dont need any one now...and you all are here too to help me...

I wana say one more thing ,I am not that type of a person you all are thinking of.If I would have known about his marriage and all before...or if it would have been just an affair also... then this day would never have came.As i have never even given him a chance to do any thing as such...

but all of you are help full...

Good job on telling him to not contact you anymore.

How do you know that he and his BW aren't talking? Was this information from him?

Do not speak with this man any more

yes that information was from him only...how can i find out the truth please suggest...then only I'll be able to fully calm down..so much frustated...
I am trying my best to be away from him..I am just trying to find out something to do to make me busy...Actively searching a job too....

Good heavens Jais, he was making himself indispensable to you during a very vulnerable time. He was preying on you! and LYING about being married. Cant you see this? How you've been played? He stole time from you that could have been used to meet someone great.





We are only as good as our last action and will only be as good as our next action.

People are not what they SAY they are what they DO.

So good on you for ending it. Keep it up.

Be very nice to yourself and surround yourself with honourable female friends

And keep getting support in your eforts here.

I asked his friend just Now.Now I Got the things.

Now i wana grow strong alone,do not need any male in my whole life thats it...that was my last try for a relation ship.

I wana recover from this and will make my own world...feeling a lot pain.......

Will need all ur help to recover....

I do not have friends around me here as i dont go any where...and dont have job too.

I think i should go to some other town or country.To go away from all this pain ..I knew him since november 2011 personaly(when i came to this city)...otherwise i know him since 2005 or 6

Its very hard to recover everything of my life.

we were starting a business together now i need to think some thing else for earning also

Even if he hasn't seen or comminicated with his wife for years, she is still his wife.
Maybe the wife is doing tough love (plan B) to him in order to wait out time and see if he can ever change and be the husband she wants.

You just don't know.

You can have a man in your life.....just not one who legally belongs to another woman on Earth.

Be alone for a while and then be more discerning in men. Have higher standards for yourself. Way higher.

Find a job and make friends and don't hang out with slimey people.

Sounds like youll be busy.

I didn't get you!