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ok I will do that.All this happened because i am honest and open?
I need to work on this also I think
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resstless restless resstless,A lot paaain,uncontrolable emotions and feeling...lot many things Okay, take a few minutes to cry. Now STOP. Straighten up. Wash your face and refresh your makeup. Look at yourself in the mirror and vow to youreslf that you will take better care of yourself in the future. That you will not be blindly trusting some man with a shady background. That you will remain on Marriage Builders and read EVERY ARTICLE on this site to become versed in how to have a faithful relationship with a man. That you will touch base with us and let us know how you're doing so we can help you if you appear to be drifting into the 'dating ditch' with the wrong man (honestly, Jais - a lot of this could have been avoided if you'd checked in with us. We could have flagged you long ago on this character's questionable behavior). But before you do any of that? Yep - CHANGE YOUR NUMBER. We could have flagged you long ago on this character's questionable behavior).what do you mean by this ? well i have already read many of the articles.I'll surely read all other left aswell.... I am changing my no. and will try to go some other place or other country but I dont know about the procedure to go to the other country. Right now i will change the city.But i dont have job and dont have known people there!
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all of this is not that easy....:( This man LIES to you, LAUGHS at you and USES you. While breaking his wifes heart. Dropping him like a hot key should be the EASIEST thing in the world. Feeling frustated,restless,cheated,people made fun of me.
hurted a lot,
played with my sensetive heartand feelings Yes he has done all of those things to you. Drop him.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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We could have flagged you long ago on this character's questionable behavior).what do you mean by this ? If you had told us months ago you were dating a secretive man who hides his address... A man who did SO much for you when you were vulnerable.. We could have told you then he was married and cruising for vulnerable women.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Right now i will change the city.But i dont have job and dont have known people there! That's just a great chance to make new friends Don't you think you can? Don't you think you're capable? I do. Plus why can't you go somewhere where you do know people? What about moving near old friends or near family?
Last edited by indiegirl; 10/07/12 05:49 PM.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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hi friends thanks for so many replies...
I got so many answers,many were hurting too,well i went to a religious place for 4 to 5 days out of the town,that's why i was unable to answer...I came back today only..and checked right away...
well i asked him not to meet me again and tried to find his wife,and came to know that they are not in contact since 3 to 4 years....when i told him,everything will be fine soon with his wife,he just need to work a little with her and never think about any other girl.....
I dont know whats true but if everything is ok in between them,i never want to be a single bit of the reason of there problems....
he was saying if there would have been any chances for patch up to happen,it would have already been happened...
well I m moving forward leaving him here.....
I never wanted to hurt any body not even my enemies...
one more thing which comes in my mind alot and stoping me is....when i was in need and was in the same situation,only he helped me....
Now just suppose,if what ever he's saying is correct just suppose,then?,IF CORRECT then leaving him alone on his time of need....feels very selfish....
well after being there with my god for 4-5 days,I got lot many answers...piece of mind and i dont need any one now...and you all are here too to help me...
I wana say one more thing ,I am not that type of a person you all are thinking of.If I would have known about his marriage and all before...or if it would have been just an affair also... then this day would never have came.As i have never even given him a chance to do any thing as such...
but all of you are help full... Just reading through this post and had to comment on this... I really wanted to [censored] slap my husband when he said this same CRAP to me about his POSOW. WTHeck? She ruined our life and he is worried that he is being selfish by leaving her. I'm sorry but he's a pig no need to feel sorry for him.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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Hi Indiegirl,
M sorry,
I again had a conversation with him,I didn't picked up his phone all day and the end he asked me to meet him ,he wanted to talk about something I felt.
well,i should tell you,15 days ago,He him self agreed and told me to meet only in a public place if i wish.At the time when he told me all that,he said he can be friend for ever,not meet me or can be a phone friend or cut of all contacts,what ever my decision will be he is agree.He said never think I here physical things.
he said,If you wish to be apart for some time,Not meet me or what ever,he is agree for any thing whatever i wish may be by doing this things will become ok.
Yesterday he told me the that if i dont wana be with him thats ok.but he can never go to her, cant even think.He hates her.
He said if i dont want him to call,he will never do that.
when I asked the reason for all that.He gave me a very strong reason,He told me she was already married to some one else before the marriage,was in leaving relationship.She was meeting him after marriage too.After 3-4 months of marriage,when he got to know situation arised,he told he tried alot to settle down things,and tried to get her love but he failed,she said She'll be contunuing with him,do what ever you can.,when he asked for the devorce she said I need a some of money,other wise she never gona give the devorce.Still she is living happily.He told me He dont have any proof of her marriage only she do.He said we are waiting to complete 7 year of the marriage because after 7 years she cant file doury case.He met with his husband too.She and her X both met him together and want the same thing.That is why they dont have children too.
He is saying next year in 2013,may be he'll be getting devorce becoz 7 years has been completed.
My heart was saying he cant hurt any body as i was with him for almost an year,he never shares his personal life with any one.And do things for other people without any reason without any expectations.He believes a lot in god,a lot More then me.
At the time when he accepted he loves me,He told me now if I will be doing something in his back that will be wrong and if he will be doing anything as such he'll be wrong.And both of us have to face our own god too.
He is the person,who always says that."Just be the person,who always gives 100% and make ur expectation 0%.He says the day you'll be that you'll proud on your own self.And I agry with him.
I never been to his place but yes i have the address(home and Office both)
When my parents came to me,He forced me to do lot many things for them.he says parents happiness is above everything.
They are the people who will always be with me.My parents know him too.when my parents were coming he said arrange everything in ur place which is not there and Nothing should be missing.Do what ever you can They should proud on you.he dont used to have time but he went to arange al those things which were required.He is a truth full person.
And yes,he used to say before also.he has something to tell me but he will tell me at the right time.I asked him so many times but he never told me any thing.When I used to force him he used to say whatever it is,that will never effect our relation ship.That doesn't plays any role,it just a thingwhich you should know but no need of it now.
and on the day when he told me evrything,he said he was not telling me because he wanted to get fully devorced first.Otherwise it may effect you.
when I asked him why did'nt you take me home yet,he said devorce has not been done yet and taking you home means letting everybody know about our relationship.And let them ask so many question and thats not good for me too.He says he cant risk my respect and his too.Because the world here is very narrow minded.He wanted to end up those things first.
He still told me,Before he gets devorced,if I'll get someone through my family,I should see him if parents want for my parents and if I would like the person,he will be the first person to be there for me.Isf all this happens before his devorce and he said,once he'll get devorced next year,After that he will never let me go anywhere.
He says concentrat on the proffesional life now,I have to do some big.He'll be with me anywhere,everywhere always in any way I wish him too.
He wants me to think about my future my career and says personal life will automatically be ok once you'll be something or get succsess ur career.He says U already have faced lot many things in past now concentrat in ur career.
Now,what? My heart says he is not leing.
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I am not cheating on any body!And I can never think of it even if something is hurting me.
I said IF HE IS RIGHT/NOT LEING...(I mean if his wife really do not wish to be with him or devorcing him or both have decided not to be toghether ever)
Only in that case I feel selfish about him,because at my time he trusted me and helped me.
Other wise I'll fair him if all this is just a lie.
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Thanks for believing me.
Feels very good,Yes I can do any I ust need to believe on my own self.
I just need to decide and I can make the Imposible things posible.
I dont wana go to my parents,I dont want them to have any probs because of me any more or dont wnt them to worry any more,do not want to be dependent on them.
I never had a friend circle, yes i have many friends but all of them are in diffrent diffrent states.
But I feel you are and will be very true and good friend for ever.You all,After being on this site I feel like I have many true friends who can guide me in the right way.And because of all of you I started feeling little strength in me and feel like i am not alone,I have friend.
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Indiegirl,
I feel I should be connected to you all at that time,
If I would have been.This situation would never have come and I would have cleared everything before or in the starting.
Thats my fault.But now I'll be connected to you always and I will not be taking any wrong decision further.Because all of you are there to guide me.Now no one else can Missguide me.
thanks MB for being with me and making such a wonderfull site.
Dont have world to explain my feeling for this great site.
GOOD JOB
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Jais,
You are continuing to talk to this man after finding out he is married.
You are a willing Other Woman.
The title of your thread is "Again Involved in a Wrong/Difficult Situation".
You know why?
Because you are a volunteer and you are willing. This is entirely on you and your poor behavior now.
We do not support your adultery here. No more "poor Jais". Stop it.
Last edited by alis; 10/09/12 10:51 AM.
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Hi Indiegirl,
M sorry,
I again had a conversation with him,I didn't picked up his phone all day and the end he asked me to meet him ,he wanted to talk about something I felt.
well,i should tell you,15 days ago,He him self agreed and told me to meet only in a public place if i wish.At the time when he told me all that,he said he can be friend for ever,not meet me or can be a phone friend or cut of all contacts,what ever my decision will be he is agree.He said never think I here physical things.
he said,If you wish to be apart for some time,Not meet me or what ever,he is agree for any thing whatever i wish may be by doing this things will become ok.
Yesterday he told me the that if i dont wana be with him thats ok.but he can never go to her, cant even think.He hates her.
He said if i dont want him to call,he will never do that.
when I asked the reason for all that.He gave me a very strong reason,He told me she was already married to some one else before the marriage,was in leaving relationship.She was meeting him after marriage too.After 3-4 months of marriage,when he got to know situation arised,he told he tried alot to settle down things,and tried to get her love but he failed,she said She'll be contunuing with him,do what ever you can.,when he asked for the devorce she said I need a some of money,other wise she never gona give the devorce.Still she is living happily.He told me He dont have any proof of her marriage only she do.He said we are waiting to complete 7 year of the marriage because after 7 years she cant file doury case.He met with his husband too.She and her X both met him together and want the same thing.That is why they dont have children too.
He is saying next year in 2013,may be he'll be getting devorce becoz 7 years has been completed.
My heart was saying he cant hurt any body as i was with him for almost an year,he never shares his personal life with any one.And do things for other people without any reason without any expectations.He believes a lot in god,a lot More then me.
At the time when he accepted he loves me,He told me now if I will be doing something in his back that will be wrong and if he will be doing anything as such he'll be wrong.And both of us have to face our own god too.
He is the person,who always says that."Just be the person,who always gives 100% and make ur expectation 0%.He says the day you'll be that you'll proud on your own self.And I agry with him.
I never been to his place but yes i have the address(home and Office both)
When my parents came to me,He forced me to do lot many things for them.he says parents happiness is above everything.
They are the people who will always be with me.My parents know him too.when my parents were coming he said arrange everything in ur place which is not there and Nothing should be missing.Do what ever you can They should proud on you.he dont used to have time but he went to arange al those things which were required.He is a truth full person.
And yes,he used to say before also.he has something to tell me but he will tell me at the right time.I asked him so many times but he never told me any thing.When I used to force him he used to say whatever it is,that will never effect our relation ship.That doesn't plays any role,it just a thingwhich you should know but no need of it now.
and on the day when he told me evrything,he said he was not telling me because he wanted to get fully devorced first.Otherwise it may effect you.
when I asked him why did'nt you take me home yet,he said devorce has not been done yet and taking you home means letting everybody know about our relationship.And let them ask so many question and thats not good for me too.He says he cant risk my respect and his too.Because the world here is very narrow minded.He wanted to end up those things first.
He still told me,Before he gets devorced,if I'll get someone through my family,I should see him if parents want for my parents and if I would like the person,he will be the first person to be there for me.Isf all this happens before his devorce and he said,once he'll get devorced next year,After that he will never let me go anywhere.
He says concentrat on the proffesional life now,I have to do some big.He'll be with me anywhere,everywhere always in any way I wish him too.
He wants me to think about my future my career and says personal life will automatically be ok once you'll be something or get succsess ur career.He says U already have faced lot many things in past now concentrat in ur career.
Now,what? My heart says he is not leing. I give up. Good luck in your affairage. You'll need it. With a bit of luck he'll dump you for one of his other women instead of making you his next betrayed wife. If you ever decide to get serious and change your contact details, let us know. Let us know AFTER you've changed your details so he can't contact you. I'm not interested in hearing a whole lot of whining about how difficult it will be to let go.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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dont wana hurt him (whatever he did)Because i cant hurt anyone Yes you can. You are having an affair with a married man. You are hurting his wife and family (and yourself). You don't mind hurting people if it involves gain for you. You don't want to "hurt him" because you don't want to hurt your chances of him suddenly getting a divorce and living happily ever after with you. Don't lie to yourself - this is what you want. Why are you asking for help and advice if you're just going to continue your affair with this married man? That is insulting to people here.
Last edited by alis; 10/09/12 11:27 AM.
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I am sorry,
Dont say like this...
I do not want to go on wrong track.
Ok guide me step wise I'll do what ever u all will say.
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thats not true,I can never hurt anyone for my benefit..
I think I am really on the wrong track now,that is why everyone is saying such things.
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Dear Indiegirl,
Please reply...I'll do what is right..I m sorry,I tried not to talk to him but i couldn't controll yesterdays..but i'll take care further please m sorry.
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I am sorry for bothering you all.
I m sorry friends m sorry
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I dont have anytthing to say! I just needed love in my life and see where I am now..hh...Wanted to be a good wife,good daughter in law and to have a strong character.Now have none of these....  Thanks friends u all are very good..god bless you all.Wish u all be happy always and get what ever you all wished for.. Have a nice time bye..!
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Hi Indiegirl,
M sorry,
I again had a conversation with him,I didn't picked up his phone all day and the end he asked me to meet him ,he wanted to talk about something I felt.
well,i should tell you,15 days ago,He him self agreed and told me to meet only in a public place if i wish.At the time when he told me all that,he said he can be friend for ever,not meet me or can be a phone friend or cut of all contacts,what ever my decision will be he is agree.He said never think I here physical things.
he said,If you wish to be apart for some time,Not meet me or what ever,he is agree for any thing whatever i wish may be by doing this things will become ok.
Yesterday he told me the that if i dont wana be with him thats ok.but he can never go to her, cant even think.He hates her.
He said if i dont want him to call,he will never do that.
when I asked the reason for all that.He gave me a very strong reason,He told me she was already married to some one else before the marriage,was in leaving relationship.She was meeting him after marriage too.After 3-4 months of marriage,when he got to know situation arised,he told he tried alot to settle down things,and tried to get her love but he failed,she said She'll be contunuing with him,do what ever you can.,when he asked for the devorce she said I need a some of money,other wise she never gona give the devorce.Still she is living happily.He told me He dont have any proof of her marriage only she do.He said we are waiting to complete 7 year of the marriage because after 7 years she cant file doury case.He met with his husband too.She and her X both met him together and want the same thing.That is why they dont have children too.
He is saying next year in 2013,may be he'll be getting devorce becoz 7 years has been completed.
My heart was saying he cant hurt any body as i was with him for almost an year,he never shares his personal life with any one.And do things for other people without any reason without any expectations.He believes a lot in god,a lot More then me.
At the time when he accepted he loves me,He told me now if I will be doing something in his back that will be wrong and if he will be doing anything as such he'll be wrong.And both of us have to face our own god too.
He is the person,who always says that."Just be the person,who always gives 100% and make ur expectation 0%.He says the day you'll be that you'll proud on your own self.And I agry with him.
I never been to his place but yes i have the address(home and Office both)
When my parents came to me,He forced me to do lot many things for them.he says parents happiness is above everything.
They are the people who will always be with me.My parents know him too.when my parents were coming he said arrange everything in ur place which is not there and Nothing should be missing.Do what ever you can They should proud on you.he dont used to have time but he went to arange al those things which were required.He is a truth full person.
And yes,he used to say before also.he has something to tell me but he will tell me at the right time.I asked him so many times but he never told me any thing.When I used to force him he used to say whatever it is,that will never effect our relation ship.That doesn't plays any role,it just a thingwhich you should know but no need of it now.
and on the day when he told me evrything,he said he was not telling me because he wanted to get fully devorced first.Otherwise it may effect you.
when I asked him why did'nt you take me home yet,he said devorce has not been done yet and taking you home means letting everybody know about our relationship.And let them ask so many question and thats not good for me too.He says he cant risk my respect and his too.Because the world here is very narrow minded.He wanted to end up those things first.
He still told me,Before he gets devorced,if I'll get someone through my family,I should see him if parents want for my parents and if I would like the person,he will be the first person to be there for me.Isf all this happens before his devorce and he said,once he'll get devorced next year,After that he will never let me go anywhere.
He says concentrat on the proffesional life now,I have to do some big.He'll be with me anywhere,everywhere always in any way I wish him too.
He wants me to think about my future my career and says personal life will automatically be ok once you'll be something or get succsess ur career.He says U already have faced lot many things in past now concentrat in ur career.
Now,what? My heart says he is not leing. Your heart says he is not lying? The Bible says "The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it?" King Solomon wrote "Do not lean unto thine own understanding" Do you wonder of this is acceptable? The Ten Commandments. Read them. You have a choice: you can follow your heart and say there is no God. Or you can repent of adultery and pray for the mercy of God.
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I am sorry,
Dont say like this...
I do not want to go on wrong track.
Ok guide me step wise I'll do what ever u all will say. What to do? Christ encountered this in His ministry. A woman who had commited adultery was about to be stoned to death by the people. Christ wrote a message in the dirt, and said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" The people slowly left, and Christ told the woman, "Go and sin no more."
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